The Great WrestleMania Re-Book: WrestleMania XXVII

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We’ve all done this. We’ve all sat around the campfire, water-cooler, sacrifice pit and meticulously tried to re-book the Granddaddy of the all. Brilliant idea after brilliant idea has flowed from the minds of countless brilliant people which made us at Place To Be Nation sit up and say, “We’re somewhat brilliant. We can piece together two or three coherent sentences. Surely we can book an all time classic like WrestleMania IX.” So welcome To the Great WrestleMania Re-Book. For each of the 30 celebrations of life (TM WWF 1999) Justin Rozzero, Aaron George, Steven Graham, Nick Duke, Brian Bayless, Trent Williams, and Glenn Butler, give you their versions of each showcase of the immortals. In order to ensue a different spin with this thing here’s a few rules we’ve all sworn a blood-oath to uphold:

– For any given year you can have NO MATCHES THAT WERE ON THE ORIGINAL CARD. So WrestleMania III say goodbye to Savage/Steamboat and Hogan/Andre cause we have to come up with something completely different.

– For every year YOU MUST RESPECT THE CURRENT CHAMPIONS GOING INTO THE EVENT. So even if it hurts our hearts Miz is still champ going into 27, Triple H still has his reign of terror at XIX and Cena is still champ going into 36.

– As much as we are sticklers for the given circumstances and champions we may CHANGE THE WINNER OF THE ROYAL RUMBLE. Otherwise we’d be unable to follow rule number one from 1993-2003. Imagine we’re booking the show as of January 1st.

IF A CELEBRITY WRESTLES/BOXES A PHYSICAL MATCH AT A GIVEN SHOW, HE/SHE MUST HAVE A MATCH AT THE SHOWS WE BOOK. Sorry, no getting out of seeing Snooki “compete.”

– Aside from that we are free to USE ANY MEMBER OF THE ROSTER AT THE TIME THAT WAS HEALTHY OR SCRATCH SOMEONE FROM THE CURRENT CARD IF WE FEEL THEY DON’T FIT AND/OR HATE THEM.

– Unless it’s specified by the given author EVERY ONE OF THESE CARDS LIVES IN IT’S OWN UNIVERSE. Otherwise this could very quick descend into 30 years of fantasy booking instead of seeing what we could each make with the given circumstances. If a butterfly effect is enacted it will be mentioned but I think we’ll keep it to a respectable minimum.

So there’re our awful, rigid, back-breaking rules. Without further ado, here’s the Great WrestleMania Re-Book!

georgia dome
Georgians deserved better…

ATLANTA GEORGIA – APRIL 3RD 2011

THE ORIGINAL CARD

1. Edge (c) d. Alberto Del Rio – World Heavyweight Title

2. Cody Rhodes d. Rey Mysterio

3. The Big Show, Kane, Santino Marella and Kofi Kingston d. The Corre

4. Randy Orton d. CM Punk

5. Michael Cole d. Jerry “The King” Lawler by DQ

6. The Undertaker d. Triple H – No Holds Barred

7. John Morrison, Trish Stratus & Nicole “Snooki: Polizzi d. Laycool & Dolph Ziggler

8. The Miz (c) d. John Cena – WWE Title, No DQ, No Countout

JUSTIN ROZZERO

Wrestling? What a concept!
Wrestling? What a concept!

1. Daniel Bryan d. Dolph Ziggler, Sheamus (c) & Cody Rhodes – US Title

2. Alberto Del Rio d. Rey Mysterio

3. Randy Orton d. Triple H

4. Wade Barrett (c) d. William Regal – IC Title

5. Jerry Lawler & Booker T. d. Jack Swagger & Michael Cole *

6. Christian d. Edge (c) – World Title vs. Retirement

7. Snooki w/ Trish Stratus d. Vicki Guerrero w/ LayCool

8. Undertaker d. CM Punk

9. The Miz (c) d. John Morrison – WWE Title Ladder Match

10. The Rock d. John Cena

* Steve Austin is guest referee; Jim Ross wins back Raw announce job; Michael Cole is later revealed as Raw GM

AARON GEORGE

Is it your back?
Is it your back?

1. Evan Bourne d. Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler, Tyson Kidd and Drew McIntyre – Intercontinental Title Ladder Match
I’m not sure there’s a card in history that needed a ladder match more than Mania 27. Bourne gets a cool win here

2. Alberto Del Rio d. Randy Orton
Destiny stalls a bit but Del Rio gets a high profile win.

3. Daniel Bryan d. Rey Mysterio
Because why not? Let them tear the house down for mutual respect.

4. The Undertaker d. Sheamus
Death come for the Irishman. And in a shocking turn of events it’s not from liver failure.

5. Edge (c) d. CM Punk – World Heavyweight Title
Punk attacks Edge’s character but the Rated R superstar squeaks out a win. Next month we get a Punk/Christian ladder match after Edge’s retirement.

6. Trish Stratus, Snooki, Kelly Kelly & Santino Marella d. Vickie Guerrero, LayCool & Michael Cole.
Santino piledrives Cole until he’s dead, Laycool piledrive Snooki until she’s dead. Vickie Guerrero botches a 450 splash and Trish and Kelly start a relationship. Everybody gets on WrestleMania!

7. John Morrison d. The Miz (c) – WWE Title
Not only do you created a new huge star, but it pays off their on again, off again feud since their team broke up.

8. John Cena d. The Rock
Just do it here, for god’s sake just do it here. Have Rock build to the re-match in Miami the next year and be done with it.

STEVEN GRAHAM

Real vs Fake 2011
Real vs Fake 2011

1. Daniel Bryan d. Randy Orton – King of the Ring Quarter-Finals

2. John Cena d. CM Punk – King of the Ring Quarter-Finals

3. Rey Mysterio d. Alberto del Rio – King of the Ring Quarter-Finals

4. The Undertaker d. Sheamus – King of the Ring Quarter-Finals

5. Daniel Bryan d. John Cena – King of the Ring Semi-Finals

6. The Undertaker d. Rey Mysterio – King of the Ring Semi-Finals

7. The Undertaker d. Daniel Bryan – King of the Ring Finals

The winner of the King of the Ring tournament gets to face the WWE champion at Extreme Rules! A classic tournament filled with great matches and upsets. Taker wins and retains his streak.

8. Jerry “The King” Lawler d. The Miz (c) – WWE Title
Lawler wins the Rumble and has his dream come true by winning the WWE Title.

NICK DUKE

That's not how Marines talk!
That’s not how Marines talk!

1. The Corre (Wade Barrett, Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel) d. The New Nexus (Husky Harris, Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga)

2. Kharma d. Snooki
Kharma makes her debut here, powerbombing Snooki into paralysis.

3. Rey Mysterio d. Alberto del Rio

4. Randy Orton d. Triple H

5. CM Punk d. Edge (c) – World Heavyweight Title

6. Trish Stratus & Eve Torres d. LayCool

7. The Undertaker d. John Cena

8. Daniel Bryan (with Jerry Lawler) d. The Miz (c) (with Michael Cole) – WWE Title

BRIAN BAYLESS

Hug in 5...4...3...2...
Hug in 5…4…3…2…

1. John Morrison d. Dolph Ziggler

2. Wade Barrett (c) d. Kofi Kingston – WWE Intercontinental Title

3. Trish Stratus & Snooki d. LayCool

4. Cody Rhodes d. Christian

5. Sheamus (c) d. Rey Mysterio

6. Big Show & Kane d. Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater (c) – Tag Titles

7. Edge (c) d. CM Punk – World Heavyweight Title

8. Randy Orton d. HHH

9. Undertaker d. John Cena d. Alberto Del Rio d. The Miz (c) – WWE Title

TRENT WILLIAMS

The Awesome Powers EXPLODE
The Awesome Powers EXPLODE

1. Christian d. Edge (c) – World Heavyweight Title
In my ideal world Edge would know going into this match that he would have to retire after this, so he would say that if he is going to have one last match and it has to be on the grandest stage of them all then he wants it to be against his best friend Christian. He wants Christian to have that big World Heavyweight Championship title shot because he deserves it more than anyone he knows.

2. Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, & Kofi Kingston d. Cody Rhodes, CM Punk, & Dolph Ziggler

3. Triple H d. Alberto Del Rio w/ Ricardo Rodriguez & Brodus Clay

4. Daniel Bryan & Jerry Lawler w/ Jim Ross d. Jack Swagger & Michael Cole – Special Ref Steve Austin
So if they were going to have the WrestleMania XXVII match between Michael Cole v.s. Jerry Lawler go 15 minutes then it shouldn’t have been a one on one match. So the whole time while Daniel Bryan was in NXT Season 1 Michael Cole would bad mouth him every week and then once he got to the main roster it got even worse so it would make perfect sense to tag him up with Lawler so that both could get a chance at revenge on Michael Cole. I would have Bryan somehow take out Swagger early and then both he and Lawler would double team Cole and punish him and I would have the max time for the match be around 8 minutes. Also I would have Lawler get the win and not have that stupid anonymous GM bull crap. After the match Austin would hit the Stunner on Cole followed by him Lawler, & Bryan celebrating with some cold beers.

5. The Undertaker d. Sheamus
I would have Sheamus come out and say that last year he was relegated to the pre-show, but he promises that won’t happen again because he has a plan and he is going to be the one making a challenge, a challenge that not only will get him onto the main card, but will put him back at main event status and if successful against the man he is going to challenge will make him a legend in the WWE. He is calling out The Undertaker.

6. The Miz (c) w/ Alex Riley d. John Morrison – WWE Title
This is the WWE Championship match that should have happened at WrestleMania instead of The Miz getting lost in a feud between The Rock and John Cena. I was a huge fan of John Morrison at this time and the match he had against The Miz leading up to WrestleMania (I believe it was a falls count anywhere match) was great. I think these two could have had a phenomenal match and it would give the WWE Championship and WWE Champion more importance.

7. Trish Stratus & Snooki d. LayCool w/ Vickie Guerrero

8. John Cena d. The Rock
I really feel if done right they could have had this match at this WrestleMania, I mean The Rock came back in February that’s plenty enough time to hype this match up, and really it don’t need that much hype as the story pretty much tells itself. I mean this show would be way better if they had made this match happen instead of waiting a year which I feel the match didn’t really need seeing as The Rock wasn’t there for half of it.

GLENN BUTLER

What did I just see King???
What did I just see King???

1. Daniel Bryan def. William Regal
A technical classic that also takes advantage of Bryan’s growing fanbase, and a match that makes its way onto Best Opener lists in some circles.

2. Drew McIntyre def. HHH

3. Evan Bourne & Rey Mysterio def. Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel (c) and The Hart Dynasty – WWE Tag Titles

4. Santino Marella def. Wade Barrett (c) – WWE Intercontinental Title
In the space of two matches, The Corrrrrrre’s undercard championship dominance has fallen apart.

5. Christian def. Alberto Del Rio

6. Eve Torres (c) def. Trish Stratus & Snooki – WWE Divas Title Three-Way

7. Sheamus (c) def. Kofi Kingston – WWE United States Title

8. Mark Henry def. Undertaker
At THIS WrestleMania XXVII, when Undertaker can’t get up after his match it’s for a good reason: he’s one of the first inductees in The Hall of Pain.

9. CM Punk def. Edge (c) – World Heavyweight Title

10. John Cena def. The Rock
Forget all the garbage about Rock being the terrible WrestleMania host, and forget Rock making the main event of that WrestleMania a freaking handicap match advertising the next year’s show. Forget the bigoted promos. Forget the year-long slog. Cena wins, and he wins now.

11. The Miz (c) def. Jerry Lawler – WWE Title
These two had an outstanding program and a great match at Elimination Chamber; let’s transplant that match here and give it the gravitas of the WrestleMania main event.

Whose WrestleMania XXVII card is your favorite?

View Results

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Thanks for joining us for this installment of The Great WrestleMania Re-Book. Feel free to keep the discussion going at the Place To Be Nation Facebook page. Tune in next time for WrestleMania XXVIII! In the meantime, catch up on our previous re-books:

WrestleMania
WrestleMania 2
WrestleMania III
WrestleMania IV
WrestleMania V
WrestleMania VI
WrestleMania VII
WrestleMania VIII
WrestleMania IX
WrestleMania X
WrestleMania XI
WrestleMania XII
WrestleMania 13
WrestleMania 14
WrestleMania XV
WrestleMania 2000
WrestleMania X-Seven
WrestleMania X8
WrestleMania XIX
WrestleMania XX
WrestleMania 21
WrestleMania 22
WrestleMania 23
WrestleMania XXIV
WrestleMania XXV
WrestleMania XXVI
 

Author: Place to Be Nation Staff

Place to Be Nation Staff pieces feature any number of our contributors who are multifaceted when it comes to Pop Culture expertise.