We’ve all done this. We’ve all sat around the campfire, water-cooler, sacrifice pit and meticulously tried to re-book the Granddaddy of the all. Brilliant idea after brilliant idea has flowed from the minds of countless brilliant people which made us at Place To Be Nation sit up and say, “We’re somewhat brilliant. We can piece together two or three coherent sentences. Surely we can book an all time classic like WrestleMania IX.” So welcome To the Great WrestleMania Re-Book. For each of the 30 celebrations of life (TM WWF 1999) Justin Rozzero, Aaron George, Steven Graham, Nick Duke, Brian Bayless, Trent Williams, and Glenn Butler, give you their versions of each showcase of the immortals. In order to ensue a different spin with this thing here’s a few rules we’ve all sworn a blood-oath to uphold:
– For any given year you can have NO MATCHES THAT WERE ON THE ORIGINAL CARD. So WrestleMania III say goodbye to Savage/Steamboat and Hogan/Andre cause we have to come up with something completely different.
– For every year YOU MUST RESPECT THE CURRENT CHAMPIONS GOING INTO THE EVENT. So even if it hurts our hearts Miz is still champ going into 27, Triple H still has his reign of terror at XIX and Cena is still champ going into 36.
– As much as we are sticklers for the given circumstances and champions we may CHANGE THE WINNER OF THE ROYAL RUMBLE. Otherwise we’d be unable to follow rule number one from 1993-2003. Imagine we’re booking the show as of January 1st. IF A CELEBRITY WRESTLES/BOXES A PHYSICAL MATCH AT A GIVEN SHOW, HE/SHE MUST HAVE A MATCH AT THE SHOWS WE BOOK. Sorry, no getting out of seeing Snooki “compete.”
– Aside from that we are free to USE ANY MEMBER OF THE ROSTER AT THE TIME THAT WAS HEALTHY OR SCRATCH SOMEONE FROM THE CURRENT CARD IF WE FEEL THEY DON’T FIT AND/OR HATE THEM.
– Unless it’s specified by the given author EVERY ONE OF THESE CARDS LIVES IN IT’S OWN UNIVERSE. Otherwise this could very quick descend into 30 years of fantasy booking instead of seeing what we could each make with the given circumstances. If a butterfly effect is enacted it will be mentioned but I think we’ll keep it to a respectable minimum.
So there’re our awful, rigid, back-breaking rules. Without further ado, here’s the Great WrestleMania Re-Book!
NEW YORK CITY MARCH 20TH 1994
THE ORIGINAL CARD
1. Owen Hart d. Bret Hart
2. Bam Bam Bigelow & Luna Vachon d. Doink & Dink
3. “Macho Man” Randy Savage d. Crush – Falls Count Anywhere Match
4. Alundra Blayze (c) d. Leilani Kai – WWF Women’s Title
5. Men On A Mission d. The Quebecers (c) by Countout – WWF Tag Team Titles
6. Yokozuna (c) d. Lex Luger by DQ – WWF Title
7. Earthquake d. Adam Bomb
8. Razor Ramon (c) d. Shawn Michaels – Intercontinental Title Ladder Match
9. Bret Hart d. Yokozuna (c) – WWF Title
1. Bret & Owen Hart d. Jerry Lawler & Jeff Jarrett
2. Alundra Blayze d. Luna Vachon – WWF Women’s Title
3. Crush d. Doink
4. Quebecers (c) d. Steiner Brothers – WWF Tag Titles
5. Undertaker d. Adam Bomb
6. Razor Ramon & 1-2-3 Kid d. Shawn Michaels & Diesel – Tag Team Ladder Match for Disputed Intercontinental Title
7. Lex Luger d. Mr. Perfect
8. Tatanka d. Bam Bam Bigelow
9. Randy Savage d. Yokozuna (c) – WWF Heavyweight Title
* Razor Ramon captures the IC Title
** Randy Savage won 1994 Royal Rumble
Similar scenario to the actual WrestleMania 10, only this time Backlund plays off his ’93 run and lasts until the end with Bret. In a perfect world I’d enter the event with Luger as champ rather than Yoko, but rules are rules. Bret has to face suitable competition and Backlund gets first crack at the champ.
1. Bret “Hitman” Hart d. Scott Steiner
Bret wins but it’s a long, hard match.
2. Lex Luger d. Crush – Falls Count Anywhere
Crush tossed Luger from The Rumble, this is the revenge match.
3. The Quebecers (c) d. The Smoking Gunns – WWF Tag Titles
4. Owen Hart d. Jerry “The King” Lawler
Owen survives all of Lawler’s dastardly tactics, finally shuts The KIng up and is lauded as the hero of his family. The seeds are planted. Maybe he is the best Hart…
5. Bob Backlund d. Yokozuna (c) – WWF Title.
Backlund shocks the world and gets to go on and defend against Bret Hart later in the night.
6. Diesel d. Doink
The dueling chants of “Diesel” and “Kill the clown” are so loud you can barely hear yourself think. Diesel’s push continues to grow as he pins Doink after eight or nine power bombs. Doink is never seen or heard from again.
7. Razor Ramon d. 1-2-3 Kid – Intercontinental Ladder Match
These two would tear the house down, and it’s a natural progression stemming back to KId’s upset win.
8. Shawn Michaels d. “Macho Man” Randy Savage
Savage loses an emotional match. He concedes Shawn is the better man and passes the torch. Even Shawn is a little moved. Hell you could even bring in Elizabeth and have Michaels try and bed her for more heat/rage.
9. Bret “Hitman” Hart d. Bob Backlund (c) – WWF Title
Merely hours after winning the title from Yokozuna, Backlund suffers a heartbreaking loss to Bret. It’s a great pure wrestling match, and when it’s over Backlund is dejected beyond words. He shakes Bret’s hand but then lingers on his own. Staring wildly prompting Vince to ask “What’s up with Backlund.” This obviously leads to, and fuels his turn later in the year. The next night Owen rubs in his win at WrestleMania which leads to the brotherly feud.
Sadly there will be no Jerry Lawler wrestling on this show, since this was his return.
1. 1-2-3 Kid d. Bam Bam Bigelow
I thought these two had great chemistry and would love to see them on a big stage.
2. Tatanka & The Steiner Brothers d. Crush & The Headshrinkers
A fun six-man.
3. Bob Backlund d. Kwang
A quick match to start building Backlund back up for the Bret feud..
4. Alundra Blayze (c) d. Luna Vachon – WWF Women’s Title
Luna is a better choice.
5. The Smoking Gunns d. The Quebecers (c) – WWF Tag Team Titles
The Gunns were going to be the future of the division anyway, might as well jump start it here.
6. Jeff Jarrett d. Rick “The Model” Martel
After the ten-man tag was booked these two kept arguing about who was the captain. Eventually the ten-man was scraped and these two squared off instead.
7. Owen Hart d. Razor Ramon (c) – WWF Intercontinental Title
Owen is going to do everything that Bret has done and first up is the IC Title.
8. “Macho Man” Randy Savage d. Shawn Michaels
According to the Savage DVD, Savage wanted a long feud with Michaels to put him over. This would be step one. A strong competetive match where Savage gains the lucky win in the end.
9. Bret Hart d. Yokozuna (c) & Lex Luger – WWF Title Triple Threat Elimination Match
Yokozuna pins Luger leaving Bret alone to get his revenge for WrestleMania IX. Bret wins the title and has the same type of celebration as the real event.
The tie at the Rumble still happens with Bret and Luger. To settle the matter, the two will meet in a Number 1 contender’s match in the opening match at WrestleMania. To ensure fairness in the main event, a tournament is held on Raw to determine who will face Yokozuna in the night’s first WWF Title Match. Randy Savage leaves the announce table to join the tournament and wins
1. Bret Hart d. Lex Luger – Number One Contender’s Match
2. Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon d. Tatanka and Alundra Blayze
Thus continues the Native American’s losing streak.
3. Men on a Mission d. The Heavenly Bodies
4. Diesel d. The 1-2-3 Kid
5. Randy Savage d. Yokozuna w/ Mr. Fuji & Jim Cornette (c) – WWF Title
6. Shawn Michaels d. Doink the Clown
7. Owen Hart d. Razor Ramon (c) – Intercontinental Title Ladder Match
Owen Hart, sensing that Bret is on the verge of a career night, challenges Razor Ramon to an Intercontinental title match in a brand new match concept that Owen claims to have invented – the ladder match.
8. The Smoking Gunns d. The Quebecers (c) – WWF Tag Team Titles
9. Bret Hart d. Randy Savage (c) – WWF Title
1. Owen Hart d. 1-2-3 Kid
2. Lex Luger d. Bam Bam Bigelow
3. Bret Hart d. Jerry Lawler – Steel Cage Match
4. Jeff Jarrett d. Tatanka
5. Smoking Gunns d. The Quebecers (c) – WWF Tag Team Championship Match
6. Crush d. Earthquake
7. Shawn Michaels w/ Diesel d. Randy Savage – WWF Intercontinental Title Match
8. Doink d. Irwin R. Scheyster
9. Razor Ramon d. Yokozuna w/ Mr. Fuji – WWF World Title Match
1. Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Luna Vachon d.Bret Hart
These two had a really good match at King of the Ring 1993, but since then Bigelow’s stock had dropped and he had been feuding in the mid to lower card. I would have him attack Bret and the reason being that everyone forgot just how mean Bam Bam could be and had been regulated to nothing but a joke, now he is going to show everyone he is serious and he is setting his sights on the WWE Championship and what a better way than to take out one of it’s top contenders.
2. Doink the Clown w/ Dink the Clown d. Jeff Jarrett
3. Tatanka d. Crush w/ Mr Fuji – Falls Count Anywhere Match
4. Randy Savage d. Shawn Michaels w/ Diesel – Winner advances to WWE Championship Match
I would still do the two people winning at the Royal Rumble, but it would be these two instead. I would have them face each other to determine who faces Yoko for the Championship. Also I chose Savage and Michaels because Savage always wanted to work with Michaels and give him a rub of working with a certified main eventer and I figured since this was his last Mania what a better time. Unfortunately I can’t put Shawn as the winner since he is a heel and Yokozuna is a heel, but at least he got to work with Savage on the big stage.
5. The Smoking Gunns d. The Quebecers (c) w/ Johnny Polo – WWF Tag Team Titles
6. Razor Ramon (c) d. Owen Hart – Intercontinental Title Ladder Match
So if I can’t have Shawn in this match then I would choose the second best worker who is a heel to create an epic ladder match, he would try to break out of his brother’s shadow on this night by not only trying to win the Intercontinental Championship, but also by having the match of the night.
7. Lex Luger d. Jerry Lawler
8. The 1-2-3 Kid & Bob Holly d. The Heavenly Bodies w/ Jim Cornette
9. Randy Savage d. Yokozuna (c) w/ Mr Fuji & Jim Cornette – WWF Title
I would have Savage win the WWE Championship as a Thank You for all that he has done for the WWE and for helping mold the next generation. I would also have him go into a longer feud with Shawn after this and eventually have Shawn capture his first championship from Savage.
1. Owen Hart def. Randy Savage
Frequently cited as the best WrestleMania opener of all time.
2. Bam Bam Bigelow, Earthquake, and Sparky Plugg def. Adam Bomb, IRS, and Rick Martel
3. Lex Luger def. Ludwig Borga
4. The Quebecers (c) def. The Bushwhackers – WWF Tag Titles
5. Men on a Mission def. The Headshrinkers
6. 1-2-3 Kid def. Shawn Michaels (c, sort of) – WWF Intercontinental Title Ladder Match
Following Razor Ramon’s Royal Rumble win, he was forced to decide between continuing to defend the Intercontinental Title and challenging for the World Title at WrestleMania. When Razor handed over his belt to WWF President Jack Tunney on an episode of Raw, Shawn Michaels immediately made his return, claiming to be the sole reigning and defending Intercontinental Champion. While not officially recognized by the WWF, Michaels still showed off his belt and claimed to “defend” the title against jobbers. At WrestleMania, it was decided that the title that Tunney (and commentator Vince McMahon) considered to be vacant, and Michaels considered to be his, would be determined in a ladder match between Michaels and the Kid.
7. Bret Hart def. Jerry Lawler
Following a year of abuse, it’s The War to Settle the Score!
8. Luna Vachon def. Alundra Blayze (c) – WWF Women’s Title
9. Razor Ramon def. Yokozuna (c) – WWF World Title
After being forced to give up his IC Title to pursue world championship dreams (thanks to some crafty contractual analysis by Jim cornette), the stakes couldn’t be higher for Razor Ramon. Cornette & Fuji taunt Razor that he could never get Yokozuna, chiefest and greatest of calamities, in position for the Razor’s Edge, but he wows the MSG crowd by doing just that. Following his victory over the mighty Yokozuna, Razor is carried off by the entire babyface roster.
Thanks for joining us for this installment of The Great WrestleMania Re-Book. Feel free to keep the discussion going at the Place To Be Nation Facebook page. Tune in next time for a catastrophe of a show that is WrestleMania XI! In the meantime, catch up on our previous re-books: