We’ve all done this. We’ve all sat around the campfire, water-cooler, sacrifice pit and meticulously tried to re-book the Granddaddy of the all. Brilliant idea after brilliant idea has flowed from the minds of countless brilliant people which made us at Place To Be Nation sit up and say, “We’re somewhat brilliant. We can piece together two or three coherent sentences. Surely we can book an all time classic like WrestleMania IX.” So welcome To the Great WrestleMania Re-Book. For each of the 30 celebrations of life (TM WWF 1999) Justin Rozzero, Aaron George, Steven Graham, Nick Duke, Brian Bayless, Trent Williams, and Glenn Butler, give you their versions of each showcase of the immortals. In order to ensue a different spin with this thing here’s a few rules we’ve all sworn a blood-oath to uphold:
– For any given year you can have NO MATCHES THAT WERE ON THE ORIGINAL CARD. So WrestleMania III say goodbye to Savage/Steamboat and Hogan/Andre cause we have to come up with something completely different.
– For every year YOU MUST RESPECT THE CURRENT CHAMPIONS GOING INTO THE EVENT. So even if it hurts our hearts Miz is still champ going into 27, Triple H still has his reign of terror at XIX and Cena is still champ going into 36.
– As much as we are sticklers for the given circumstances and champions we may CHANGE THE WINNER OF THE ROYAL RUMBLE. Otherwise we’d be unable to follow rule number one from 1993-2003. Imagine we’re booking the show as of January 1st.
IF A CELEBRITY WRESTLES/BOXES A PHYSICAL MATCH AT A GIVEN SHOW, HE/SHE MUST HAVE A MATCH AT THE SHOWS WE BOOK. Sorry no getting out of seeing Snooki “compete.”
– Aside from that we are free to USE ANY MEMBER OF THE ROSTER AT THE TIME THAT WAS HEALTHY OR SCRATCH SOMEONE FROM THE CURRENT CARD IF WE FEEL THEY DON’T FIT AND/OR HATE THEM.
– Unless it’s specified by the given author EVERY ONE OF THESE CARDS LIVES IN IT’S OWN UNIVERSE. Otherwise this could very quick descend into 30 years of fantasy booking instead of seeing what we could each make with the given circumstances. If a butterfly effect is enacted it will be mentioned but I think we’ll keep it to a respectable minimum.
So there’re our awful, rigid, back-breaking rules. Without further ado, here’s the Great WrestleMania Re-Book!
NEW YORK CITY – MARCH 14TH 2004
THE ORIGINAL CARD
1. John Cena d. The Big Show – WWE US Title
2. Booker T & Rob Van Dam d. Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak, The Dudley Boyz and La Resistance – World Tag Team Titles Fatal Four Way
3. Christian d. Chris Jericho
4. Evolution d. The Rock N’ Sock Connection – Handicap Match
5. Torrie Wilson & Sable d. Stacy Keibler & Miss Jackie – Playboy Evening Gown Match
6. Chavo Guerrero (c) d. 9 Men – WWE Cruiserweight Title Cruiserweight Open
7. Goldberg d. Brock Lesnar
8. Too Cool (c) d. WGTT, The Basham Brothers and The APA – WWE Tag Team Titles Fatal Four Way
9. Victoria (c) d. Molly Holly – WWE Women’s Title Hair Vs. Hair Match
10. Eddie Guerrero (c) d. Kurt Angle – WWE Title
11. The Undertaker d. Kane
12. Chris Benoit d. Triple H(c) and Shawn Michaels – World Heavyweight Title Triple Threat
1. Rey Mysterio d. Chavo Guerrero (c) & Billy Kidman – WWF Cruiserweight Title
2. John Cena d. William Regal
3. World’s Greatest Tag Team d. Rob Van Dam & Booker T. (c) – World Tag Titles
4. Edge d. Christian
5. Trish Stratus d. Victoria (c) – WWE Women’s Title
6. Randy Orton (c) d. Mick Foley – Hardcore IC Title Match
7. Undertaker d. Kurt Angle
8. Goldberg d. Kane
9. Matt Hardy d. Tajiri
10. Batista d. Big Show
11. Eddie Guerrero (c) d. The Rock – WWE Title
12. Chris Benoit d. Shawn Michaels
13. Brock Lesnar d. Triple H (c) – World Heavyweight Title
1. Paul London d. Chavo Guerrero (c) Ultimo Dragon, Kidman, Jamie Noble and Lance Storm. – WWE Cruiserweight Title Ladder Match
2. John Cena d. Batista
Cena is more over so goes over here. Next year would be a different story.
3. Matt Hardy d. Christian – Winner gets Lita
Christian pays off his infatuation with Lita by facing off against her real life man.
4. Randy Orton (c) d. Mick Foley – Intercontinental Title Hardcore Match
5. The World’s Greatest Tag Team, Too Cool (c), The Bashams and The APA d. Booker T &RVD (c), Cade & Jindrak, The Dudley Boyz and La Resistance – WWE Tag Team & World Tag Team Unification Eight Team Elimination Match
Did we really need two tag titles at this point? Think of the Survivor Series matches of old with all the teams on the apron. Had there been more than one team on the winning side they would have faced off against each other. Thankfully that didn’t happen.
RVD pins Rikishi to Eliminate Too Cool
The Dudleys 3D Danny Basham to eliminate them.
The APA and La Resistance are both disqualified.
Shelton Benjamin pins Lance Cade to eliminate him and Jindrak.
Charlie Haas rolls up Devon to eliminate the Dudleys.
Shelton and Charlie hit RVD with some double team move we’ve never seen before to win the match and the titles.
6. Kurt Angle d. Goldberg
This match would surprise so long as Angle watches the kick.
7. The Rock d. Ric Flair
Why the hell not?
8. Shawn Michaels d. Brock Lesnar
The one time we can do this one. Michaels makes Lesnar look like a million bucks before taking the surprise win.
9. Trish Stratus d. Victoria (c) – WWE Women’s Title Hair Match
10. Eddie Guerrero d. Rey Mysterio & Chris Jericho – WWE Title Triple Threat Match
Mysterio and Jericho fight to a draw in a number one contender’s match. This is the result. Perhaps not as good as the Michaels/HHH/Benoit triple threat but pretty damn good none the less.
11. The Undertaker d. The Big Show (c) – WWE US Title
12. Chris Benoit d. Triple H (c) – World Heavyweight Title
I really wanted to put Benoit against Eddie, but the win means so much more over Jesus Christ the King Of Kings.
1. Tajiri d. Christian – Cruiserweight Best of 7 Challenge: Match 1
2. Booker T d. Kidman – Cruiserweight Best of 7 Challenge: Match 2
3. Batista d. Chavo Guerrero – Cruiserweight Best of 7 Challenge: Match 3
4. Ultimo Dragon d. Kurt Angle – Cruiserweight Best of 7 Challenge: Match 4
5. Chris Benoit d. Jamie Noble – Cruiserweight Best of 7 Challenge: Match 5
6. Paul London d. Shawn Michaels – Cruiserweight Best of 7 Challenge: Match 6
7. Rey Mystero d. Chris Jericho – Cruiserweight Best of 7 Challenge: Match 7
The Cruiserweights are sick of being pushed around and decide to fight back by challenging 7 of the best heavyweight superstars to a 7-match challenge here. Rey wins it for the Cruierweights 4-3 and they finally gain the respect they deserve?
8. Randy Orton d. Mick Foley – Intercontinental Title Falls Count Anywhere Match
The match from Backlash happens on this show.
9. Victoria (c) d. Trish Stratus & Molly Holly – WWE Women’s Title Triple Threat
Let the three best women go at it here!
10. Triple H (c) d. “Nature Boy” Ric Flair – World Heavyweight Title
Flair wins the Rumble in an upset and takes on his best friend to prove who is the man!
11. The Undertaker d. John Cena
Can the young upstart take down the legend and the Streak? Cena can be the one that took ‘Taker out of action last year. Delay Cena’s face turn to after this show.
12. Eddie Guerrero (c) d. Brock Lesnar – WWE Title
Lesnar uses his rematch clause to try to regain his title from Eddie!
1. Trish Stratus d. Victoria (c) and Molly Holly – WWE Women’s Title Triple Threat Match
2. The World’s Greatest Tag Team d. Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty (c) – WWE Tag Team Titles
3. The Hurricane d. The Big Show (c) – WWE US Title
4. The Dudley Boyz d. Christian & Chris Jericho
Christian never turns on Jericho on Raw, but instead waits until WrestleMania, allowing the Dudleyz to put Jericho through a table as he and Trish Stratus watch from the ramp.
5. Rey Mysterio d. Ultimo Dragon, Chavo Guerrero (c) and Tajiri – WWE Cruiserweight Title Fatal Four Way Elimination Match
6. John Cena d. Kane – Interpromotional Match
7. Batista & Ric Flair d. Rob Van Dam & Booker T (c) – World Tag Team Titles
8. Randy Orton (c) d. Mick Foley – Intercontinental Title Hell In A Cell
9. Chris Benoit d. Eddie Guerrero (c) – WWE Title
10. The Rock d. Brock Lesnar
11. The Undertaker d. Goldberg
12. Shawn Michaels d. Triple H (c) – World Heavyweight Title
1. Rey Mysterio d. Chavo Guerrero (c) – WWE Cruiserweight Championship
2. John Cena d. Kane
3. Too Cool (c) d. APA – WWE Tag Team Titles
Too Cool retains as Bradshaw turns on his partner after the match, setting up his JBL character the following week.
4. Rock & Mick Foley d. Randy Orton & Batista – Steel Cage & Weapons Match
5. Christian d. Matt Hardy
6. Shawn Michaels d. Kurt Angle
7. La Resistance d. Booker T & RVD d. Dudley Boyz – WWE World Tag Team Titles
8. Undertaker d. Goldberg
9. Eddie Guerrero (c) d. Brock Lesnar – WWE World Title
With Lesnar leaving, Guerrero gets a win to cement his status as the champion.
10. Victoria (c) d. Jazz – WWE Women’s Championship
11. Ric Flair d. Chris Jericho
12. Chris Benoit d. HHH (c) – WWE Heavyweight Title
It makes perfect sense to do this here in 2004.
1. The Big Show (c) d. Chris Jericho – WWE US Title
2. Rob Van Dam & Booker T (c) d. The Dudley Boyz & Evolution (Ric Flair & Batista) – World Tag Team Titles
So instead of having a 4 way that meant nothing I put the 3 teams that were true title contenders at that time.
3. A-Train d. Kane
This is nothing more than a hoss fight to get A-Train over because had they not lost faith in him, I could have seen him being a big time star.
4. Randy Orton (c) d. Mick Foley – Intercontinental Title Hardcore Match
The main feud going into that handicap match was the Orton v.s. Foley feud so I figured why not just have their one on one match that they would have a month later featured on the biggest stage and that would get Orton over even more as a big star.
5. Rey Mysterio d. Chavo Guerrero (c) w/ Chavo Classic, Billy Kidman, Tajiri, Ultimo Dragon, & Jamie Noble – WWE Cruiserweight Title 6 Way Tornado Style Elimination Match
Instead of having it where 2 people are in the ring and one comes in after someone is eliminated I just decided to throw them all in there at once which would make it more exciting and also take out some of the dead weight of the match to make it the best of the best cruiserweights in the match.
6. Kurt Angle d. Shawn Michaels
So since I couldn’t have this match at WrestleMania 21 I would have it here because it’s too great of a match not to put on one WrestleMania.
7. The World’s Greatest Tag Team d. Scotty 2 Hotty & Rikishi (c)- WWE Tag Team Titles
This match is just to get the titles off Scotty & Rikishi because they were horrible champions and I would give them to the best team on Smackdown at that time.
8. The Rock d. John Cena
So I would have a future WrestleMania main event actually happen eight years earlier. At this time Cena was super popular and just needed that one thing to launch him into super stardom, so I think if he were in a match with The Rock at WrestleMania even though he loses I think it would push him to that next level.
9. Victoria (c) d. Molly Holly & Trish Stratus – WWE Women’s Title
10. Eddie Guerrero (c) d. Brock Lesnar – WWE Title
If I had it my way I would have Brock still as champion coming into WrestleMania, that way Eddie would win the big one the same night Benoit wins it and it would have made two great moments for this WrestleMania, but we have to keep the champions the same. I would just have this match be Lesnar’s mandatory rematch and once again have Eddie win as Lesnar was leaving the company after this anyway.
11. The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer d. Goldberg
I would have had Goldberg come in and dominate in WWE like he did WCW and never lose even when he loses the championship it would be in a triple threat match where he is not the one pinned. I would build this match as the WrestleMania Undefeated Streak v.s. The One Year Undefeated Streak. Undertaker would go over in a match that would be way better than the Lesnar vs. Goldberg match.
12. Chris Benoit d. Triple H (c) – World Heavyweight Title
Instead of making this a 3 way just let Benoit win over Triple H in a singles match.
1. Chris Jericho def. Kane
2. Big Show (c) def. Hardcore Holly – WWE United States Title
3. Booker T & RVD (c) def. La Resistance & The Dudleyz – World Tag Titles, TLC
4. Randy Orton (c) def. Mick Foley – WWE Intercontinental Title, Hardcore Match
Move up The Passion of Randy Orton from Backlash.
5. The World’s Greatest Tag Team def. Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty (c) & The APA – WWE Tag Titles, TLC
6. Trish Stratus def. Victoria – WWE Women’s Title
7. Rey Mysterio def. Chavo Guerrero (c), Nunzio, Tajiri, Akio & Billy Kidman – WWE Cruiserweight Title Six-Pack Challenge
8. Ric Flair def. The Rock
Turn up the ring mic so we can hear Flair calling Rock a motherfucker every other minute.
9. Eddie Guerrero (c) def. John Cena – WWE Title
Cena and Eddie put on a great technical match, but Eddie’s experience and cunning let him outwit a game Cena. Cena’s been growing, but he’ll have to get over the hump another day.
10. Undertaker def. Brock Lesnar
11. Kurt Angle def. Goldberg
If anyone’s going to get a good match out of Goldberg in 2004, it’ll be Angle.
12. Shawn Michaels def. Christian
13. Chris Benoit def. HHH (c) – World Heavyweight Title
Thanks for joining us for this installment of The Great WrestleMania Re-Book. Feel free to keep the discussion going at the Place To Be Nation Facebook page. Tune in next time when we go to Hollywood for WrestleMania 21! In the meantime, catch up on our previous re-books: