The Great WrestleMania Re-Book: WrestleMania 22

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We’ve all done this. We’ve all sat around the campfire, water-cooler, sacrifice pit and meticulously tried to re-book the Granddaddy of the all. Brilliant idea after brilliant idea has flowed from the minds of countless brilliant people which made us at Place To Be Nation sit up and say, “We’re somewhat brilliant. We can piece together two or three coherent sentences. Surely we can book an all time classic like WrestleMania IX.” So welcome To the Great WrestleMania Re-Book. For each of the 30 celebrations of life (TM WWF 1999) Justin Rozzero, Aaron George, Steven Graham, Nick Duke, Brian Bayless, Trent Williams, and Glenn Butler, give you their versions of each showcase of the immortals. In order to ensue a different spin with this thing here’s a few rules we’ve all sworn a blood-oath to uphold:

– For any given year you can have NO MATCHES THAT WERE ON THE ORIGINAL CARD. So WrestleMania III say goodbye to Savage/Steamboat and Hogan/Andre cause we have to come up with something completely different.

– For every year YOU MUST RESPECT THE CURRENT CHAMPIONS GOING INTO THE EVENT. So even if it hurts our hearts Miz is still champ going into 27, Triple H still has his reign of terror at XIX and Cena is still champ going into 36.

– As much as we are sticklers for the given circumstances and champions we may CHANGE THE WINNER OF THE ROYAL RUMBLE. Otherwise we’d be unable to follow rule number one from 1993-2003. Imagine we’re booking the show as of January 1st.

IF A CELEBRITY WRESTLES/BOXES A PHYSICAL MATCH AT A GIVEN SHOW, HE/SHE MUST HAVE A MATCH AT THE SHOWS WE BOOK. Sorry, no getting out of seeing Snooki “compete.”

– Aside from that we are free to USE ANY MEMBER OF THE ROSTER AT THE TIME THAT WAS HEALTHY OR SCRATCH SOMEONE FROM THE CURRENT CARD IF WE FEEL THEY DON’T FIT AND/OR HATE THEM.

– Unless it’s specified by the given author EVERY ONE OF THESE CARDS LIVES IN IT’S OWN UNIVERSE. Otherwise this could very quick descend into 30 years of fantasy booking instead of seeing what we could each make with the given circumstances. If a butterfly effect is enacted it will be mentioned but I think we’ll keep it to a respectable minimum.

So there’re our awful, rigid, back-breaking rules. Without further ado, here’s the Great WrestleMania Re-Book!

GABRIEL
Hope you’re a fan…

CHICAGO – APRIL 2ND 2006

THE ORIGINAL CARD

1. The Big Show & Kane (c) d. Carlito & Chris Masters – World Tag Team Title

2. Rob Van Dam d. Shelton Benjamin, Ric Flair, Finlay, Matt Hardy and Bobby Lashley – Money In The Bank Ladder Match

3. John Bradshaw Layfield d. Chris Benoit (c) – WWE US Title

4. Edge d. Mick Foley – Hardcore Match

5. The Boogeyman d. Booker T & Sharmell – Handicap Match

6. Mickie James d. Trish Stratus (c) – WWE Women’s Title

7. The Undertaker d. Mark Henry – Casket Match

8. Shawn Michaels d. Mr. McMahon – No Holds Barred

9. Rey Mysterio d. Randy Orton and Kurt Angle (c) – World Heavyweight Title

10. Torrie Wilson d. Candice Michelle – Playboy Pillow Fight

11. John Cena (c) d. Triple H – WWE Title

JUSTIN ROZZERO

edgecena
Wait? Where are the jorts?

1. Chris Benoit (c) d. Shelton Benjamin – US Title

2. William Regal d. Finlay – Belfast Brawl

3. Rob Van Dam d. Mick Foley, Booker T, Carlito, Super Crazy, Mark Henry, Psicosis – Money in the Bank

4. MNM (c) d. Big Show & Kane (c) – Tag Team Titles

5. Matt Hardy d. JBL

6. Trish Stratus (c) d. Lita

7. Undertaker d. Mr. McMahon

8. Triple H d. Ric Flair – No Holds Barred

9. Rey Mysterio d. Kurt Angle (c) – World Title

10. Randy Orton d. Shawn Michaels

11. Edge d. John Cena (C) – WWE Title

AARON GEORGE

2006 Olympic Gold Medal Match
2006 Olympic Gold Medal Match

1. RVD d. Finlay, Booker T, Carlito, Lashley and Chris Masters – Money In The Bank Ladder Match

2. Shelton Benjamin (c) d. Edge – Intercontinental Title
I know Edge is surging but Shelton is just too important a talent not to push.

3. Randy Orton d. Chris Benoit (c) – WWE US Title
Orton just has his number in title matches.

4. Ric Flair d. Triple H – I Quit Match
Their feud finally comes to an end. Probably with some kind of ball grip.

5. Shawn Michaels d. William Regal
I’d just love to see these guys go. Have Regal nearly end HBK’s Career at the Rumble just to give it a more personal feel.

6. Paul London & Brian Kendrick d. MNM – WWE Tag Team Titles

7. Mick Foley d. Vince McMahon – Hardcore Match
Foley gets the best kind of WrestleMania moment: a Vince McMahon beatdown extravaganza.

8.Shane Helms (c) d. Matt Hardy – WWE Cruiserweight Title
Matt drops weight to take on his long time rival/friend.

9. John Cena (c) d. Rey Mysterio – WWE Title
Mysterio’s Cinderella story ends as he’s forced to tap out to the STF after tons of action and near falls.

10. Lita d. Trish Stratus – WWE Women’s Title

11. The Undertaker d. Kurt Angle (c) – World Heavyweight Title
Who knew these two had such awesome chemistry?

STEVEN GRAHAM

Ahhhhhhhhh!
Ahhhhhhhhh!

1. Gregory Helms (c) d. Super Crazy – Cruisrweight Title
Two awesome cruiserweights is the best way to open up any show.

2. Shelton Benjamin (c) d. Chris Masters – Intercontinental Title
Shelton was being built as a future star and Masters was great (well, that might had been later on).

3. Finlay d. Matt Hardy
Two great wrestlers with a nice undercard match.

4. Mark Henry d. Mick Foley – Hardcore Match
The monster of the company had finally found his groove in 2006 and him going over Foley would be great.

5. The Boogeyman d. Kane
Comedy!

6. Brian Kendrick & Paul London d. MNM (c) – WWE Tag Team Titles
The two best tag teams on the roster.

7. Rob Van Dam d. Triple H
RVD wins with the Van Terminator after Triple H makes fun of ECW leading up to this show.

8. Rey Mysterio d. Chris Benoit (c) – WWE US Title
Rey as the US Champion would probably go better than his WWE Title reign.

9. Booker T d. Shawn Michaels – Interpromotional Match
Booker wins it for Smackdown!

10. John Cena (c) d. Edge – WWE Title Street Fight
The real grudge match at the time that was the main event on all the house shows.

11. The Undertaker d. Kurt Angle (c) – World Heavyweight Title
The main event of No Way Out should happen here on this stage.

NICK DUKE

Retire me! I'm already retired! Wooooo!
Retire me! I’m already retired! Wooooo!

1. The Hurricane (c) defeats Psicosis and Super Crazy – WWE Cruiserweight Title Triple Threat Match
In my universe, Gregory Helms never existed. All Hurri-powers, all the time.

2. Chris Benoit (c) defeats Mark Henry – WWE US Title

3. Johnny Nitro & Joey Mercury defeat Big Show & Kane (c) – WWE Tag Team Titles

4. Matt Hardy defeats Rob Van Dam, Carlito, Chris Masters, Booker T and Bobby Lashley – Money In The Bank Ladder Match

5. Lita defeats Trish Stratus (c) – WWE Women’s Title

6. Ric Flair d. Mr. McMahon – Street Fight

7. Shelton Benjamin d. Randy Orton

8. Rey Mysterio d. Kurt Angle (c) – World Heavyweight Title

9. The Undertaker d. Shawn Michaels

10. Mick Foley d. Triple H two falls to one – Three stages of Hell (First Blood, Hardcore, Hell in a Cell)
Triple H wins the first fall, Foley wins the last two. Foley wants his WrestleMania moment, and there’s no one he’d rather have it against.

11. Edge d. John Cena (c) – WWE Title

BRIAN BAYLESS

Ugh. What does X-Pac want?
Ugh. What does X-Pac want?

1. Paul London & Brian Kendrick d. MNM (c) w/ Melina – WWE Tag Team Titles

2. Bobby Lashley d. Finlay

3. Shawn Michaels d. Ric Flair

4. Randy Orton d. RVD d. Booker T d. Chavo Guerrero d. Shelton Benjamin d. Chris Benoit – Money in the Bank

5. Carlito & Chris Masters d. Big Show & Kane – WWE World Tag Team Titles

6. Undertaker d. HHH

7. Mick Foley d. JBL – Hardcore Match

9. John Cena (c) d. Edge – WWE Heavyweight Title

10. Lita d. Trish Stratus (c) – WWE Women’s Title

11. Rey Mysterio d. Kurt Angle – WWE World Title

TRENT WILLIAMS

cenahhhedge
I FORGOT MY JORTS!!!!

1. The Big Show & Kane (c) d. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch – World Tag Team Titles
So Instead of having two singles wrestlers team up I chose an actual established tag team to go for the titles.

2. Shelton Benjamin (c) d. Carlito & Chris Masters – Intercontinental Title
I believe in getting as many titles on the card as possible so this is why I put this match on here plus at this time Carlito and Chris Masters were on again and off again tag partners so I would put them in this match and see if they could co exist to take out Shelton or would their egos get in the way. In the end Shelton would capitalize on the fact that they can’t get on the same page and would pin Masters after Carlito hits a back stabber on Masters.

3. Brian Kendrick & Paul London d. MNM (c) w/ Melina – WWE Tag Team Titles
Another title match between two young teams who would have their time to shine on the biggest stage of them all.

4. Shawn Michaels d. Mick Foley – Hardcore Match
The buildup for this match would have Foley coming out saying he has never had a real memorable WrestleMania moment and this year he wants his WrestleMania moment and he will get it no matter what he has to do. Shawn Michaels would then come out and ask if he heard right that someone was looking for a WrestleMania moment, well if you want a WrestleMania moment you have to have Mr. WrestleMania. Foley would say Shawn was right and challenged him to a match at WrestleMania. Shawn says it would be his honor, but he just hopes that Foley doesn’t want his WrestleMania moment to be a victory over Mr WrestleMania because that’s not going to happen, b/c even though me and you will put on one hell of a match yours truly will be the one standing tall at the end. Foley would respond with I guess we’ll see and then says since Shawn is Mr WrestleMania and that is like a home advantage he wants to make it a hardcore match to make sure the odds are more even.

5. Gregory Helms (c) d. Kid Kash – WWE Cruiserweight Title
This would be Kash getting his re-match since he lost the championship at the Royal Rumble to Helms.

6. Chris Benoit (c) d. Ric Flair – WWE US Title
Chris Benoit would come out and say that he want’s to add some prestige and meaning to the US Championship, he says that back when he used to work in WCW this title was right up there with the World Championship, but since it had been brought back by the WWE it was nothing but a placeholder for guys they don’t know what to do with. So he is going to defend the title only against people who he thinks is worthy of bringing honor to this title if by a slight chance they beat him for it. One man who he says always brought honor and prestige to any title he ever won and always brought a sense of class to the title while he was in WCW and no matter how many times he had won the World Championship anytime he had that US title in his possesion he treated it as if it was the most important thing in his life and that person was none other than “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair and that is the man he feels is worthy of facing him at WrestleMania. Flair would come out and say that Benoit don’t realize how much that means coming from someone he respects so much and that there was a reason he chose him to be a Horsemen back in the day and that reason is because just like him Benoit respects the business and it would be more than an honor to face him at WrestleMania.

7. Rob Van Dam d. Bobby Lashley, Matt Hardy, Finlay, Booker T, & Mark Henry – Money In The Bank Ladder Match

8. The Undertaker d. Randy Orton
I really liked this match from WrestleMania 21 more than I feel most people do, so I decided to put it on this card with the same story going into it where Orton wants to add The Undertaker to the list of legends he has killed.

9. Rey Mysterio d. Kurt Angle (c) – World Heavyweight Title
I think if this match was give time like 15 minutes it would be a 5 star match. I would still have Rey have his moment winning the World Heavyweight Championship.

10. Mickie James d. Trish Stratus (c), Melina, & Victoria – WWE Women’s Title Fatal 4 Way

11. John Cena (c) d. Triple H & Edge – WWE Title

GLENN BUTLER

The Future is now!
The Future is now!

1. Triple V (Viscera & Val Venis) def. Carlito & Chris Masters

2. William Regal def. Shelton Benjamin (c) – WWE Intercontinental Title

3. Big Show & Kane (c) def. The Spirit Squad – World Tag Titles

4. Undertaker def. The Boogeyman
This is another meeting between two men with supernatural powers — just ask the arena lights about the powers wielded by these masters of the dark arts. It turns out that much like Andre the Giant’s one weakness was snakes, Undertaker is devastatingly afraid of worms. He gets over it, though.

5. RVD def. Matt Hardy, Bobby Lashley, Shawn Michaels, Mark Henry, HHH – Money in the Bank Ladder Match

6. MNM (c) def. Super Crazy & Psicosis – WWE Tag Titles

7. Ric Flair def. Finlay
I’d have given my eyeteeth to see this match get some healthy PPV time in 2006. AND NOW IIIIII HAVE THE BOOK.

8. Trish Stratus (c) def. Lita – WWE Women’s Title, Hell in a Cell
A long match, hard-hitting and bloody, everything women’s wrestling supposedly isn’t. Trish and Lita have been in each other’s orbits for years, and here we have The War to Settle the Score.

9. Chris Benoit def. Randy Orton – WWE United States Title

10. Rey Mysterio def. Kurt Angle (c) – World Heavyweight Title

11. Mick Foley def. Vince McMahon – Hardcore Match

12. John Cena (c) def. Edge – WWE Title
And now we begin an era when Cena had a lot of good WrestleMania matches, but for whatever reason didn’t have many one-on-one matches with the guys he had his most iconic rivalries with. So let’s do some of those.

Whose WrestleMania 22 card is your favorite?

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Thanks for joining us for this installment of The Great WrestleMania Re-Book. Feel free to keep the discussion going at the Place To Be Nation Facebook page. Tune in next time for WrestleMania 23! In the meantime, catch up on our previous re-books:

WrestleMania
WrestleMania 2
WrestleMania III
WrestleMania IV
WrestleMania V
WrestleMania VI
WrestleMania VII
WrestleMania VIII
WrestleMania IX
WrestleMania X
WrestleMania XI
WrestleMania XII
WrestleMania 13
WrestleMania 14
WrestleMania XV
WrestleMania 2000
WrestleMania X-Seven
WrestleMania X8
WrestleMania XIX
WrestleMania XX
WrestleMania 21
 

Author: Place to Be Nation Staff

Place to Be Nation Staff pieces feature any number of our contributors who are multifaceted when it comes to Pop Culture expertise.