We’ve all done this. We’ve all sat around the campfire, water-cooler, sacrifice pit and meticulously tried to re-book the Granddaddy of the all. Brilliant idea after brilliant idea has flowed from the minds of countless brilliant people which made us at Place To Be Nation sit up and say, “We’re somewhat brilliant. We can piece together two or three coherent sentences. Surely we can book an all time classic like WrestleMania IX.” So welcome To the Great WrestleMania Re-Book. For each of the 30 celebrations of life (TM WWF 1999) Justin Rozzero, Aaron George, Steven Graham, Nick Duke, Brian Bayless, Trent Williams, and Glenn Butler, give you their versions of each showcase of the immortals. In order to ensue a different spin with this thing here’s a few rules we’ve all sworn a blood-oath to uphold:
– For any given year you can have NO MATCHES THAT WERE ON THE ORIGINAL CARD. So WrestleMania III say goodbye to Savage/Steamboat and Hogan/Andre cause we have to come up with something completely different.
– For every year YOU MUST RESPECT THE CURRENT CHAMPIONS GOING INTO THE EVENT. So even if it hurts our hearts Miz is still champ going into 27, Triple H still has his reign of terror at XIX and Cena is still champ going into 36.
– As much as we are sticklers for the given circumstances and champions we may CHANGE THE WINNER OF THE ROYAL RUMBLE. Otherwise we’d be unable to follow rule number one from 1993-2003. Imagine we’re booking the show as of January 1st.
IF A CELEBRITY WRESTLES/BOXES A PHYSICAL MATCH AT A GIVEN SHOW, HE/SHE MUST HAVE A MATCH AT THE SHOWS WE BOOK. Sorry, no getting out of seeing Snooki “compete.”
– Aside from that we are free to USE ANY MEMBER OF THE ROSTER AT THE TIME THAT WAS HEALTHY OR SCRATCH SOMEONE FROM THE CURRENT CARD IF WE FEEL THEY DON’T FIT AND/OR HATE THEM.
– Unless it’s specified by the given author EVERY ONE OF THESE CARDS LIVES IN IT’S OWN UNIVERSE. Otherwise this could very quick descend into 30 years of fantasy booking instead of seeing what we could each make with the given circumstances. If a butterfly effect is enacted it will be mentioned but I think we’ll keep it to a respectable minimum.
So there’re our awful, rigid, back-breaking rules. Without further ado, here’s the Great WrestleMania Re-Book!
PHOENIX, ARIZONA – MARCH 28TH 2010
THE ORIGINAL CARD
1. ShoMiz (c) d. John Morrison & R-Truth – WWE Tag Titles
2. Randy Orton d. Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase – Triple Threat Match
3. Jack Swagger d. Christian, Matt Hardy, Kane, Drew McIntyre, Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler, Shelton Benjamin, MVP and Evan Bourne – Money In The Bank Ladder Match
4. Triple H d. Sheamus
5. Rey Mysterio d. CM Punk
6. Bret Hart d. Mr. McMahon – No Holds Barred Lumberjack Match
7. Chris Jericho (c) d. Edge – World Heavyweight Title
8. Michelle McCool, Vickie Guerrero, Alicia Fox, Layla & Martyse d. Beth Phoenix, Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, Gail Kim and Eve
9. John Cena d. Batista (c) – WWE Title
10. The Undertaker d. Shawn Michaels – No DQ, No Countout Streak Vs. Career Match
1. Drew McIntyre (c) d. Matt Hardy – Intercontinental Title
2. Mark Henry d. Kane
3. John Morrison d. Christian, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, Shelton Benjamin & Evan Borne – Money in the Bank
4. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase d. ShowMiz (c) – WWE Tag Titles
5. Dolph Ziggler d. MVP
6. Sheamus d. Finlay – Belfast Brawl
7. Chris Jericho (c) d. Rey Mysterio – World Title
8. Rated RKO d. Triple H & William Regal – First Blood
9. John Cena & Bret Hart d. Batista (c) & Mr. McMahon – WWE Title **
10. Beth Phoenix d. Maryse (c), Michelle McCool (c) & Melina – WWE Divas & Women’s Title Unification
11. CM Punk d. Shawn Michaels **
*Batista’s title was on the line, Hart beatdown McMahon and allowed Cena to pin him
**If Michaels won, the SXS disbanded and Punk had to step down as a cult leader; If Punk won, Michaels would retire
1. MVP d. Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Cody Rhodes, Ted Dibiase, Goldust, Carlito and Matt Hardy – Money In The Bank Ladder Match
2. Drew McIntyre (c) d. Sheamus – Intercontinental Title
They came up together, let them go out and FIGHT!
3. Vickie Guerrero d. Michelle McCool. Alicia Fox, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, Maryse Gail Kim and Eve – Diva’s Battle Royale.
4. Bret Hart & The Hart Dynasty d. Vince McMahon & HHH – Handicap Match
You know the only way HHH would lay down is if he’s outnumbered. Hart does nothing but come in and tap out Vince.
5. CM Punk d. William Regal
Regal tries to teach the Straight Edge Superstar some respect.
6. Chris Jericho (c) d. John Morrison – World Heavyweight Title
Morrison just comes up short. Wonder if he’ll ever get another shot…
7. Edge d. John Cena
These two always deserved a Mania match.
8. The Undertaker d. Randy Orton
9. Rey Mysterio d. Batista (c) – WWE Title
Mysterio gets revenge on the guy who beat him to pieces last fall. This is the logical conclusion to the Batista heel turn.
10. Daniel Bryan d. Shawn Michaels – Career Threatening Match
He was signed in late 09, so the student retires the teacher
Dark Match: Chris Masters, Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger d. Evan Bourne & The Colons
I didn’t want to leave 4 of these guys off the show.
1. Hart Dynasty d. ShoMiz (c) – WWE Tag Titles
The match to launch The Hart Dynasty as the team to lead the division going forward.
2. Drew McIntyre (c) d. Christian – Intercontinental Title
Drew was on the rise and was a heck of a wrestler. Christian is one of the best babyfaces the WWE ever had and would had made Drew look awesome here.
3. William Regal d. Fit Finlay
The two legends show everybody how wrestling is done.
4. Randy Orton & a Mystery Partner d. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
The mystery partner is the legendary Goldust who wants to put his brother back into place.
5. Sheamus d. Edge
A match to show that Sheamus belongs up the card.
6. Natayla d. Maryse (c) – Divas Title
The night Bret returns to the ring is a great night for the Harts!
7. CM Punk d. Chris Jericho (c) – World Heavyweight Title
Punk was at his height as the best heel in wrestling and should had been rewarded for that.
8. Bret Hart & Shawn Michaels d. Mr. McMahon & Triple H – No Holds Barred
I think I am forced to have Bret on the show due to the rules and hiding him in tags seems ideal. Shawn and Bret had buried the hatchet and McMahon won’t let it go. Of course Triple H was very important in the screw job, so a natural hate filled match up here.
9. Rey Mysterio d. Batista (c) – WWE Title
Rey won the Rumble and picked the WWE Title as his goal to defeat his former tag partner and friend!
10. The Undertaker d. John Cena
It’s time to play the Cena-Taker card for me! We all get to once, I think is the rule!
1. Evan Bourne d. Rey Mysterio – Tournament Final to Crown a New WWE Cruiserweight Champion
2. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase d. ShowMiz (c) and John Morrison & R-Truth – WWE Tag Titles Triple Threat Match
3. Christian d. Jack Swagger, Matt Hardy, Dolph Ziggler, Shelton Benjamin and MVP – Money In The Bank Ladder Match
4. Luke Gallows defeats Kofi Kingston and Drew McIntyre (c) – Intercontinental Title Triple Threat Match
5. Sheamus d. John Cena
6. Serena d. Beth Phoenix (c), Maryse (c), Michelle McCool, Layla, Mickie James, Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly – Unification of Diva’s and WWE Women’s Titles
7. CM Punk d. Edge
8. Randy Orton d. Batista (c) – WWE Title
9. Shawn Michaels & Bret Hart d. Vince McMahon & Triple H
10. The Undertaker d. Chris Jericho (c) – World Heavyweight Title
1. Kofi Kingston d. Drew McIntyre (c) – WWE Intercontinental Title
2. Mark Henry d. Big Show
3. John Morrison d. Rey Mysterio d. Christian d. Evan Bourne d. Matt Hardy d. Dolph Ziggler – Money in the Bank
4. Hart Dynasty w/ Bret Hart d. Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes w/ Vince McMahon
5. Undertaker d. Sheamus
6. Shawn Michaels d. HHH
7. John Cena d. Jack Swagger
8. Edge d. Chris Jericho (c) d. CM Punk w/ Luke Gallows & Serena – World Heavyweight Title
9. The Miz d. MVP – WWE United States Title
10. Randy Orton d. Batista (c) – WWE Championship
1. Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase d. MVP & R-Truth – # 1 Contendership for WWE Tag Team Titles
2. Randy Orton d. Sheamus
3. Drew McIntyre d. Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler, John Morrison, Shelton Benjamin, Kane, Carlito, Finlay, Tyson Kidd & Evan Bourne – Money In The Bank Ladder Match
I think Drew McIntyre winning MITB could have really helped his career, I would have him actually do like Seth Rollins is doing now and aligning himself more strongly with Mr McMahon instead of McMahon telling him he is the chosen one and then never having anything to do with him after that.
4. ShowMiz (c) d. The Hart Dynasty – WWE Tag Team Titles
5. John Cena d. Christian
6. Bret Hart & Edge d. Mr McMahon & Triple H
I would keep the whole Shawn & Bret makeup segment and then have Bret call out Vince to clear the air with him, but instead Triple H would come out and tell Bret it’s about time he put the past in the past with the whole Shawn stuff, because he had no right to be mad at Shawn for that long it was Bret’s own selfishness that caused the whole Montreal Screwjob to happen and had he just did the right thing and drop the title to Shawn there would have never been a problem. Bret would tell Triple H he doesn’t want to talk about that night and he has come back to clear the air and put all that in the past and start fresh. Triple H tells him he don’t want to put it in the past because he had to watch his best friend and his now father in law be accused for years and years of being the cause of the Screwjob and look like complete assholes, but you want to know the truth Bret? I was the one who came up with the idea of the screwjob, when Shawn & Vince didn’t know what to do because you wouldn’t do business and as much as you hated Shawn he didn’t want to do wrong by you because he respected you and always did it was your own bitterness that caused the heat between you and Shawn, oh and Vince was wrong it wasn’t Bret screwed Bret it was Triple H screwed Bret.
At this point Bret knocks the hell out of Triple H and starts putting the boots to him until agents run down as well as Vince. Vince would pull Bret off Triple H and ask him what he’s doing Bret would push Vince aside and go back to beating on Triple H. Vince would pull Bret off again and this time he would hit Bret with a low blow and both he and Triple H would put the boots to Bret.
The next week Bret would come out saying he was trying to put the past in the past, but Triple H had to bring it all up again and then Vince had to hit him with a low blow so since they can’t let the Montreal Screwjob go then neither will he and that’s why he is challenging both of them to a tag match at WrestleMania. He says his partner is a fellow Canadian and is going to be making his long awaited return to the ring his partner is Edge.
7. CM Punk w/ Luke Gallows & Serena d. Shawn Michaels – Career Threatening Match
I would have Punk accuse Shawn Michaels of still craving those demons that he indulged in years ago and that if he were to join the Straight Edge Society he could save him from ever gowing down that long road of addiction ever again. Shawn would tell him that he has already had someone save him and he is Jesus Christ and that’s all he needs. Punk ask Shawn why give your trust and faith to someone who may or may not be real I mean what if all those stories in that book your read are all made up like fairy tales? You could join me and put your faith in someone and something that is definite b/c you know everything I say is real and I am real. Shawn would tell Punk that he would rather believe in nothing than believe in Straight Edge. Punk tells him fine that if Shawn won’t join him freely then he will have to punish him and what a better stage to do it on than WrestleMania. I will punish you by taking away the one thing you love more than anything and that’s performing in this ring in front of these people.
8. Chris Jericho (c) d. Rey Mysterio – World Heavyweight Title
9. LayCool & Vickie Guerrero d. Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, & Kelly Kelly
10. The Undertaker d. Batista (c) – WWE Title
1. Christian def. Kane, Dolph Ziggler, Sheamus, The Great Khali, Yoshi Tatsu, Goldust, HHH – Money in the Bank Ladder Match
2. Zack Ryder def. Finlay
3. Beth Phoenix def. Maryse (c) – WWE Divas Title
4. ShowMiz (c) def. Rated RKO – WWE Tag Titles
Interesting to put Rated RKO back together now that they’re both faces.
5. Evan Bourne def. Drew McIntyre (c) – WWE Intercontinental Title
6. Mickie James def. Michelle McCool – WWE Women’s Title
7. Rey Mysterio def. The Miz (c) – WWE United States Title
8. Undertaker def. CM Punk (w/The Straight Edge Society)
9. John Cena def. Chris Jericho (c) – World Heavyweight Title
10. Batista (c) def. Shawn Michaels – WWE Title
Michaels vowed that if he couldn’t win the title one more time he would retire.
Thanks for joining us for this installment of The Great WrestleMania Re-Book. Feel free to keep the discussion going at the Place To Be Nation Facebook page. Tune in next time for WrestleMania XVII! In the meantime, catch up on our previous re-books: