We’ve all done this. We’ve all sat around the campfire, water-cooler, sacrifice pit and meticulously tried to re-book the Granddaddy of the all. Brilliant idea after brilliant idea has flowed from the minds of countless brilliant people which made us at Place To Be Nation sit up and say, “We’re somewhat brilliant. We can piece together two or three coherent sentences. Surely we can book an all time classic like WrestleMania IX.” So welcome To the Great WrestleMania Re-Book. For each of the 30 celebrations of life (TM WWF 1999) JT Rozzero, Aaron George, Steven Graham, Nick Duke, Brian Bayless, Trent Williams, and Glenn Butler, give you their versions of each showcase of the immortals. In order to ensue a different spin with this thing here’s a few rules we’ve all sworn a blood-oath to uphold:
– For any given year you can have NO MATCHES THAT WERE ON THE ORIGINAL CARD. So WrestleMania III say goodbye to Savage/Steamboat and Hogan/Andre cause we have to come up with something completely different.
– For every year YOU MUST RESPECT THE CURRENT CHAMPIONS GOING INTO THE EVENT. So even if it hurts our hearts Miz is still champ going into 27, Triple H still has his reign of terror at XIX and Cena is still champ going into 36.
– As much as we are sticklers for the given circumstances and champions we may CHANGE THE WINNER OF THE ROYAL RUMBLE. Otherwise we’d be unable to follow rule number one from 1993-2003. Imagine we’re booking the show as of January 1st.
IF A CELEBRITY WRESTLES/BOXES A PHYSICAL MATCH AT A GIVEN SHOW, HE/SHE MUST HAVE A MATCH AT THE SHOWS WE BOOK. Sorry, no getting out of seeing Snooki “compete.”
– Aside from that we are free to USE ANY MEMBER OF THE ROSTER AT THE TIME THAT WAS HEALTHY OR SCRATCH SOMEONE FROM THE CURRENT CARD IF WE FEEL THEY DON’T FIT AND/OR HATE THEM.
– Unless it’s specified by the given author EVERY ONE OF THESE CARDS LIVES IN IT’S OWN UNIVERSE. Otherwise this could very quick descend into 30 years of fantasy booking instead of seeing what we could each make with the given circumstances. If a butterfly effect is enacted it will be mentioned but I think we’ll keep it to a respectable minimum.
So there’re our awful, rigid, back-breaking rules. Without further ado, here’s the Great WrestleMania Re-Book!
EAST RUTHERFORD, NEW JERSEY – APRIL 7TH 2013
THE ORIGINAL CARD
1. The Shield d. Randy Orton, Sheamus and The Big Show
2. Mark Henry d. Ryback
3. Team Hell No (c) d. Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston – WWE Tag Team Titles
4. Fandango d. Chris Jericho
5. Alberto Del Rio (c) d. Jack Swagger – World Heavyweight Title
6. The Undertaker d. CM Punk
7. Triple H d. Brock Lesnar – No Holds Barred
8. John Cena d. The Rock – WWE Title
1. Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns d. Kane & Daniel Bryan (c) – WWE Tag Titles
2. Jack Swagger d. Mark Henry
3. Cesaro d. Randy Orton & Sheamus
4. Ryback d. Triple H
5. Alberto Del Rio (c) d. Dean Ambrose by DQ – World Title *
6. Dolph Ziggler d. Alberto Del Rio (c) – World Title MITB Cash In
7. Undertaker d. Chris Jericho
8. Brock Lesnar d. John Cena – #1 Contender Match
9. CM Punk d. The Rock (c) – WWE Title
* The Shield interfered and destroyed Del Rio post match
1. Dolph Ziggler, Randy Orton & Sheamus d. The Shield – 6 Man Elimination Match
This would be The Shield’s first loss. Orton and Sheamus go out early and Ziggler has to fight back and put Reigns and Ambrose down before having a classic longer sequence with Rollins. The Shield can take a loss here and you make a HUGE star in Ziggler. You could do the same thing with Bryan in Ziggler’s role but I need him for later.
2. Wade Barrett (c) d. Chris Jericho – Intercontinental Title
Teacher vs. Student as Jericho comes back to put over his once NXT protégé.
3. Alberto Del Rio (c) d. William Regal – World Heavyweight Title
The more I do these things the more I realize they squandered Regal. This is a stiff fight.
4. Brock Lesnar d. Cesaro
Maybe because I was hoping for this to be the Main Event this year. Maybe because it would be awesome. The loss doesn’t hurt Cesaro in any way and it gives Brock another match without HH or John Cena in it.
5. Fandango d. Cody Rhodes
I’d still like to see the dancing fool debut against someone good.
6. Daniel Bryan d. CM Punk 3-2 – 30 Minute Iron Man Challenge
You have to have one Mania with this pairing. Obviously they kill it.
7. Ryback d. The Rock (c) – WWE Title
They should have rolled the dice with Ryback. Listen to the crowd at Elimination Chamber, he’s OVER. Who better than the Rock to pass the torch and make him a star?
8. The Undertaker d. John Cena – Retirement Match
Going in you imagine this is going to be Undertaker’s last match with Cena retiring him, but in the shock of shocks Taker ends John Cena’s career. No one needs an extended break more than John Cena, and I’m sure they’d bring him back in a year. You could easily have 2013 without him. Oh yeah and the match would be awesome.
1. Team Hell No (c) d. The Usos – WWE Tag Team Titles
The Usos were already the best tag team in the WWE and Team Hell No didn’t have many great challengers to choose from.
2. Wade Barrett (c) d. Sheamus – Intercontinental Title
A hard hitting affair!
3. The Shield d. Ryback, Randy Orton & Triple H
The Shield was running over everybody and Ryback was their main adversary. After he failed teaming with Sheamus & Cena at Elimination Chamber, he turned to the former members of Evolution to help him take out The Shield. It failed.
4. Antonio Cesaro (c) d. Chris Jericho – United States Title
Jericho was brought in to put over Fandango, putting over Cesaro would had been a better choice.
5. Alberto Del Rio (c) d. Mark Henry – World Heavyweight Title
The best heel in the company taking on Del Rio, who was on an amazing babyface streak. A great match-up here.
6. The Undertaker d. Brock Lesnar
Actually the winner of this is a toss up. To end The Streak or not to end The Streak is a big question. Doing it a year earlier would be better, since ‘Taker was clearly done at XXX.
7. John Cena d. CM Punk – No Holds Barred
The best feud of the 2000’s never got a proper conclusion. Their chemistry was great and having a brawling match would had been a great WrestleMania moment.
8. Dolph Ziggler d. The Rock (c) – WWE Title
This was the time Dolph was with AJ Lee and had main evented against Cena a few months back. If he won the title and went into this slot, they could have made a star here.
1. Dean Ambrose d. Kofi Kingston (c) – WWE US Title
2. Ryback d. Triple H
3. Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins defeat Team Hell No (c) – WWE Tag Team Titles
4. Sheamus d. Alberto del Rio (c) – World Heavyweight Title
5. Dolph Ziggler d. Sheamus (c) – World Heavyweight Title
Ziggler cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase.
6. Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman) d. Randy Orton
7. The Undertaker d. Chris Jericho
8. CM Punk d. John Cena and The Rock (c) – WWE Title Triple Threat Match
1. Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins w/Dean Ambrose d. Daniel Bryan & Kane (c) – WWE Tag Team Titles
Opening the show by doing two things: Putting the belts on the hot new act and allowing Bryan to break free on his own as he no longer has the Tag Titles to worry about.
2. Ryback d. Sheamus
Sheamus can act heelish after the loss to set up the turn
3. Dean Ambrose d. Wade Barrett (c) d. The Miz – WWE Intercontinental Title
The Shield members now all have gold around their waist.
4. Alberto Del Rio (c) w/Ricardo d. Chris Jericho – WWE World Heavyweight Title
ADR ends his failure as a babyface as he cheats to retain the title. However, when the match ends, Dolph Ziggler comes out by himself with the MiTB Briefcase and demands a title shot, starting off a babyface turn.
5. Dolph Ziggler d. Alberto Del Rio (c) – WWE World Heavyweight Title
Dolph wins as he becomes a face and can feud with the newly turned ADR for his first title feud.
6. Undertaker d. HHH
Because it didnt happen the previous year it does now.
7. Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman d. Randy Orton
Battle of the former OVW stars as Lesnar gets the win.
8. John Cena d. Rock (c) d. CM Punk w/Paul Heyman – WWE Title
Cena gets revenge and beats the Rock for the belt. A pissed off Punk then can feud with Cena, saying that he never got pinned and wants a title shot and when he fails, can turn face to feud with Heyman’s other guy, Brock Lesnar.
1. Fandango d. Sheamus
2. Ryback d. Big E Langston
I feel like Ryback could get a better match out of Big E since he is a little more athletic and can move around a little bit better than Henry could.
3. Daniel Bryan d. Alberto Del Rio (c) w/ Ricardo Rodriguez, Dolph Ziggler, & Jack Swagger w/Zeb Colter – World Heavyweight Title Four Way Elimination
4. The Shield d. John Cena, Chris Jericho, & Kane
I think The Shield getting a win over two huge stars the caliber of Cena and Jericho would launch them even more into super stardom and Kane is there too.
5. AJ Lee d. Kaitlyn (c) – WWE Divas Championship
Had to get my two favorite girls on a WrestleMania card and their feud in 2013 was really good and I would have loved to see both of them in a WrestleMania match.
6. The Undertaker d. Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman
7. CM Punk w/ Paul Heyman d. Triple H w/ Shawn Michaels
8. Randy Orton d. The Rock (c) – WWE Championship
It would be 3rd Generation v.s. 3rd Generation
1. The Shield def. Kane & Daniel Bryan (c) – WWE Tag Titles
Whether you make this a handicap tag title match (might be a little too screwy) or pick two Shield members and use the Freebird rule, there’s no way this isn’t great.
2. AJ Lee def. Kaitlyn (c) – WWE Divas Title
3. Big Show, The Miz, Cody Rhodes, and Goldust def. Drew McIntyre, Ryback, Jack Swagger, and Big E. Langston
4. Sheamus def. Wade Barrett (c) – WWE Intercontinental Title
5. Antonio Cesaro (c) def. Chris Jericho – WWE United States Title
Still bringing Jericho back to lose, but at least he’s losing to someone good and will probably have a good match in the process.
6. Mark Henry def. Dolph Ziggler
Consider it an extended squash, like a combination of the awesome matches Henry had with John Morrison before the latter left the company and the great selling Ziggler did for the Funkasaurus before the latter’s run was grotesquely cut off. At any rate, it’s Hall of Pain time.
7. CM Punk def. Alberto Del Rio (c) – World Heavyweight Title
Paul Heyman gets into lots of arguments with Ricardo Rodriguez. Hilarity ensues.
8. John Cena def. Undertaker
9. Brock Lesnar def. The Rock (c) – WWE Title
We’re stuck with Rock as champion here, so let’s go the SummerSlam 2014 route and just have BA-ROCK LESNAR destroy him. Eat, sleep, suplex, repeat. As the show draws to a close, Punk comes out to tease dissention among the Heyman Guys and possibly a title unification match down the line.
Thanks for joining us for this installment of The Great WrestleMania Re-Book. Feel free to keep the discussion going at the Place To Be Nation Facebook page. Tune in next time for WrestleMania XXX! In the meantime, catch up on our previous re-books: