We’ve all done this. We’ve all sat around the campfire, water-cooler, sacrifice pit and meticulously tried to re-book the Granddaddy of the all. Brilliant idea after brilliant idea has flowed from the minds of countless brilliant people which made us at Place To Be Nation sit up and say, “We’re somewhat brilliant. We can piece together two or three coherent sentences. Surely we can book an all time classic like WrestleMania IX.” So welcome To the Great WrestleMania Re-Book. For each of the 30 celebrations of life (TM WWF 1999) Justin Rozzero, Aaron George, Steven Graham, Nick Duke, Brian Bayless, Trent Williams, and Glenn Butler, give you their versions of each showcase of the immortals. In order to ensue a different spin with this thing here’s a few rules we’ve all sworn a blood-oath to uphold:
– For any given year you can have NO MATCHES THAT WERE ON THE ORIGINAL CARD. So WrestleMania III say goodbye to Savage/Steamboat and Hogan/Andre cause we have to come up with something completely different.
– For every year YOU MUST RESPECT THE CURRENT CHAMPIONS GOING INTO THE EVENT. So even if it hurts our hearts Miz is still champ going into 27, Triple H still has his reign of terror at XIX and Cena is still champ going into 36.
– As much as we are sticklers for the given circumstances and champions we may CHANGE THE WINNER OF THE ROYAL RUMBLE. Otherwise we’d be unable to follow rule number one from 1993-2003. Imagine we’re booking the show as of January 1st.
IF A CELEBRITY WRESTLES/BOXES A PHYSICAL MATCH AT A GIVEN SHOW, HE/SHE MUST HAVE A MATCH AT THE SHOWS WE BOOK. Sorry, no getting out of seeing Snooki “compete.”
– Aside from that we are free to USE ANY MEMBER OF THE ROSTER AT THE TIME THAT WAS HEALTHY OR SCRATCH SOMEONE FROM THE CURRENT CARD IF WE FEEL THEY DON’T FIT AND/OR HATE THEM.
– Unless it’s specified by the given author EVERY ONE OF THESE CARDS LIVES IN IT’S OWN UNIVERSE. Otherwise this could very quick descend into 30 years of fantasy booking instead of seeing what we could each make with the given circumstances. If a butterfly effect is enacted it will be mentioned but I think we’ll keep it to a respectable minimum.
So there’re our awful, rigid, back-breaking rules. Without further ado, here’s the Great WrestleMania Re-Book!
SEATTLE – MARCH 30TH 2003
THE ORIGINAL CARD
1. Matt Hardy d. Rey Mysterio – WWE Cruiserweight Title
2. The Undertaker d. A-Train & The Big Show – Handicap Match
3. Trish Stratus d. Victoria (c) and Jazz – WWE Women’s Title Triple Threat
4. Team Angle d. Los Guerreros and Chris Benoit & Rhyno – WWE Tag Team Titles Triple Threat
5. Shawn Michaels d. Chris Jericho
6. Triple H (c) d. Booker T – World Heavyweight Title
7. Hulk Hogan d. Mr. McMahon – Street Fight
8. The Rock d. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin
9. Brock Lesnar d. Kurt Angle (c) – WWE Title
1. Team Angle (c) d. Hardy Boys – WWE Tag Titles
2. Undertaker d. Scott Steiner
3. Rey Mysterio d. Chris Jericho
4. Mr. McMahon d. Eric Bischoff
5. Billy Kidman d. Tajiri
6. Brock Lesnar d. Steve Austin
7. Rob Van Dam d. Triple H (c), Booker T., & Kane – World Heavyweight Title
8. Shawn Michaels d. Eddie Guerrero
9. Hulk Hogan d. The Rock – Loser Leaves for Hollywood
10. Trish Stratus d. Victoria (c) – WWF Women’s Title
11. Chris Benoit d. Kurt Angle (c) – WWE Title
1. Rey Mysterio d. Chris Jericho
Bully Jericho goes down to give Mysterio a huge win.
2. The Undertaker d. Scott Steiner
Lets imagine they gave Steiner a fighting chance at success and didn’t bury him by making him wrestle 20 minute matches upon his debut. He comes in here as a fresh and credible challenger for Taker.
3. Eddie Guerrero d. Rob Van Dam
4. Team Angle (c) d. The Hardy Boyz – WWE Tag Team Titles
The Hardys re-unite to give us a great tag match.
5. Hulk Hogan d. Triple H (c) w/Vince McMahon – World Heavyweight Title
Because fuck Triple H.
6. The Rock d. Shawn Michaels
Hollywood Rock lets loose on Michaels for all the times he “held him down”, Michaels fights valiantly but can’t overcome The Scorpion King
7. Booker T d. John Cena
Booker teaches the Dr. a thing or two about the streets.
8. Brock Lesnar d. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin – Retirement Match
Austin is haunted by leaving the WWE instead of fighting Lesnar. The only way Lesnar would agree to step in the ring with him was if he put his career on the line.
9. Chris Benoit d. Kurt Angle (c) – WWE Title
1. Tajiri d. Matt Hardy (c) – WWE Cruiserweight Title
Tajiri needs more WrestleMania love and here is a chance to showcase him in a title match. A great hot opener.
2. Brock Lesnar d. John Cena
A match that was built up real well. Cena gets his and Brock looks good going forward.
3. Trish Stratus d. Victoria (c) – WWE Women’s Title
Singles matches are always more preferable.
4. Los Guerreros d. Team Angle (c) – WWE Tag Team Titles
A good old classic tag match at WrestleMania, sign me up!
5. Goldust d. Ric Flair – Winner refs the World Title Match
The Booker T & Goldust against Triple H & Ric Flair feud is about to come to a head, but who gets to be the referee? It’s Goldust!
6. Booker T d. Triple H (c), Shawn Michaels & Chris Jericho – World Heavyweight Title Four Corners Elimination Match with referee Goldust
Let’s take the main event of WrestleMania 2000 and re-imagine it here. Booker gets the win to shut down the racist Triple H and Jericho & Michaels continue their feud.
7. The Undertaker d. Chris Benoit
Who better to challenge for the streak than Benoit? Of course he loses.
8. The Rock d. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin & Hulk Hogan – Triple Threat
The three biggest legends in WWF history square off in one match.
9. Rey Mysterio d. Kurt Angle (c) – WWE Title
Rey wins the Rumble and gets to be the man on Smackdown. That is until Brock Lesnar takes over.
1. Matt Hardy (c) d. Chavo Guerrero – WWE Cruiserweight Title
2. Booker T d. Ric Flair
3. Team Angle (c) d. Eddie Guerrero & Rey Mysterio – WWE Tag Team Titles
4. The Undertaker d. Chris Jericho
5. Stone Cold Steve Austin d. Mr. McMahon – Street Fight
6. The Rock d. Shawn Michaels
7. Brock Lesnar defeats Triple H (c) – World Heavyweight Title
Brock wins the Rumble, and uses a loophole that allows him to switch brands to face Triple H.
8. Trish Stratus d. Victoria (c) – WWE Women’s Title
9. Hulk Hogan d. Kurt Angle (c) – WWE Title
1. Matt Hardy (c) d. Brian Kendrick – WWE Cruiserweight Title
Hardy gets the win with help from Shannon Moore. After the match, Rey Mysterio runs out to take out Team Mattitude
2. Undertaker & Nathan Jones d. Big Show & A-Train
This was supposed to happen so it does here.
3. Los Guerreros d. Team Angle (c) – WWF Smackdown Tag Team Titles
The Guerrero’s win to keep the crowd happy
4. Chris Jericho d. Booker T.
A good, competitive match that also makes Jericho the #1 contender
5. Steve Austin d. Ric Flair
A dream match happens here with Austin getting the win shortly after his return
6. RVD d. Rhyno
RVD gets the win in an inter-promotional match.
7. Brock Lesnar d. Kurt Angle (c) d. Chris Benoit – WWE World Title
Lesnar wins the strap in an insanely hard-hitting match
8. Hulk Hogan d. The Rock – Hell in a Cell
Hogan gets revenge from their match at No Way Out as the cell prevents any outside interference from taking place
9. Shawn Michaels d. HHH (c) – WWE Heavyweight Title
HBK wins the belt here in a classic match
1. The Big Show, A-Train, John Cena, & Matt Hardy d. Kane, Booker T, Scott Steiner, & Goldust
This is the “put a bunch of people in one match because they are left off the card” match.
2. Trish Stratus (c) d. Victoria w/ Steven Richards – WWE Women’s Title Last Woman Standing Match
These two had a brutal hardcore match at the Survivor Series in 2002. I would just knock the violence up a notch between the two and make it a last woman standing, I think it would have a chance of being the best women’s match in WrestleMania history.
3. The Undertaker d. Chris Jericho
I’m really surprised these two have never had a singles match on PPV. I would give Taker an easy win over a guy who was getting over as a heel at the time and just being an annoying jerk.
4. Team Angle (c) d. Los Guerreros, Christian & Rhyno, & Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman – WWE Tag Team Titles Ladder Match
I decided to throw in a ladder match to make this card even better than it already is. Added Christian as Rhyno’s partner since he and Christian used to ride the roads together so they have that bond and friendship. I also added Mysterio & Kidman to really get some of those high flying and innovative spots in the match.
5. Rob Van Dam d. Triple H (c) w/ Ric Flair – World Heavyweight Title
So last year I had RVD in the title, but he wasn’t successful but this time that changes as he finally wins the big one and becomes the World Heavyweight Champion since he really deserved it and everyone was tired of Triple H being the World Champion and Raw was long past due for a change of Champion.
6. Brock Lesnar d. Chris Benoit – WWE Championship #1 Contender Match
This is a match I always wanted to see on PPV, but I can’t recall it ever happening I think these two could put on a match just as good as Angle v.s. Lesnar, but since Benoit is quite smaller than Lesnar he could play the underdog role and fight from underneath. This was actually going to me the WrestleMania main event had Angle not been able to make it due to his neck injury.
7. Shawn Michaels d. Hulk Hogan
This would basically be Shawn bragging about being Mr WrestleMania and always stealing the show no matter who he is against, but Hogan would say he is the most important person in the history of WrestleMania not Michaels and there would be no WrestleMania without Hulk Hogan, so by that statement alone he is Mr WrestleMania. So the match would be to see who is the true Mr WrestleMania. I feel this match would be better here instead of their actual match in 2005 because I feel Hogan around this time was really giving his all and wanted to show he still had it, by the time 2005 came around he was too busy with everything else in his life that I don’t think he cared nearly as much and was starting to play politics hard again where as in 2003 he was more willing to do whatever.
8. Steve Austin d. Vince McMahon – Street Fight
I wouldn’t have had Austin come back in February, I would have it where he was still at home after walking out and the only way he would come back was if he could have a match against McMahon for treating him like he wasn’t as big of a star and not putting him in the headline match at WrestleMania X8. Being that this would be Austin’s last match who better to face than his number one rival Mr. McMahon.
9. The Rock d. Kurt Angle (c) – WWE Title
So I basically had nobody else for Kurt Angle to face who was a main eventer other than The Rock since I had everyone else in matches. After the match I would have Goldberg come through the crowd and spear Rock setting the match between them. Also I would have Golderg cost The Rock the title on an episode of Smackdown against Lesnar.
1. Matt Hardy (c) def. Brian Kendrick – WWE Cruiserweight Title
2. Molly Holly def. Victoria (c) – WWE Women’s Title
3. Undertaker def. Rey Mysterio
Possibly stretch out heel Undertaker this far. If that’s not feasible, it still works as a showcase.
4. Chris Benoit & Eddie Guerrero def. Team Angle (c) – WWE Tag Titles
5. HHH (c) def. Steve Austin – World Heavyweight Title
Maybe reviving this old rivalry could get a good match out of 2003 HHH.
6. Chris Jericho def. Rob Van Dam
7. Booker T & Kane def. Lance Storm & Chief Morley (c) – World Tag Titles
8. Roddy Piper def. Vince McMahon – Street Fight
What the hell, make it heel-heel since both guys are so good at hamming it up as the paragon of evil. They try to out-connive and out-cheat each other until they’re reduced to pummeling each other with foreign objects.
9. Brock Lesnar def. John Cena
Cena’s not quite at a high enough level yet, but he’ll take a close loss and come back stronger in the coming years. You live, you learn.
10. Shawn Michaels def. The Rock
There’s only one chance to do it.
11. Hulk Hogan def. Kurt Angle (c) – WWE Title
Thanks for joining us for the this installment of The Great WrestleMania Re-Book. Feel free to keep the discussion going at the Place To Be Nation Facebook page. Tune in next time for WrestleMania XX, where The Great WrestleMania Re-Book begins again! In the meantime, catch up on our previous re-books: