Wednesday Walk Around the Web – 03/07/2018

Welcome to the Wednesday Walk Around the Web, where we weave & wind through weblinks weekly. Hopefully you will find the links on offer amusing, interesting, or, occasionally, profound. Views expressed in the Wednesday Walk do not necessarily reflect those of anyone but the writer.

  • We still need your advice questions for Steve Wille’s guest appearances on the ol’ Spectacular — big or small, we’ll consider them all! Email us or go to our page to send your questions today. (Your name won’t be read on the show without permission (so tell us what to call you if anything), and allows anonymous submissions.)
  • Sit down, kiddos, and listen to the tale of the theft of Frances McDormand’s Oscar.
  • Jupiter’s Great Red Spot is dissipating. Sooner than later it’ll just be another intergenerational touchstone. (Warning: autoplay videos)
  • PTBN’s Brad Hindscrooge brings word of one of the better decorations you could surrepticously put at the bottom of a lake for swimmers to find: a Jason Vorhees statue.
  • The internet can come together to do wonderful things sometimes. I think we can all make something great happen — we can buy this bed.
  • A survey of YouPorn users indicates that almost a quarter of hetero dudes have watched gay porn, and frankly I celebrate it, since hetero porn is the woooooorst. I’ve never seen professional het porn where it looks like the woman is having a good time; she’s usually just contorting into ever-more-improbable positions to make room for the camera while feigning pain to give guys the impression that they’re so big and strong. (Quick power ranking: hetero porn is the worst; the second-worst is lesbian porn made by and for hetero dudes. Branch out from there, and now we’re talking. Again, everyone should look like they’re having a good time at a bare (ahem) minimum. There should be some joy going around.)
  • PTBN’s Todd Weber brings word of a real scumbag who’s been tasked with transporting bodies from crime scenes and accident sites. Look, I understand that you get desensitized to whatever you do in your day-to-day, but a certain respect for dead bodies has been an element of human society for approximately forever.
  • The first Lego to be made out of plant-based plastics are, appropriately, the plants.
  • My favorite part of Thor: Ragnarok was definitely the classic rock.
  • John Cena is wearing a tuxedo and playing a piano cover of “Where Is My Mind?” Your argument is invalid.
  • This Week in Environmental Disasters: oil spills can’t be adequately cleaned up, and 99% of the birds you see being washed with dish detergent on TV die soon after. All of our current methods of dealing with oil spills are performance art meant to give folks the illusion that they’re helping. Bankrupting the oil industry through punitive fines would also be a kind of performance, though you can’t deny it’d have its benefits.
  • Every year, scientists at the south pole watch The Thing, which if you believe in fate is definitely tempting it.
  • This Week in Life Philosophies: I’ve found that optimistic nihilism is probably the best I can do. We all die alone in a fundamental way because our brains are fundamentally separate from everyone else’s, but we can mitigate it a little and it’s a sin not to try.

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