Superstars Nation, let’s dive right in! Battleground is this weekend and the time for talk is over! Now is the time for action! Seriously though, it’s the “go home” edition of Superstars. Based on the teaser picture on the WWE Network, Ryback is somehow involved and who really wants to keep a guy like him waiting any longer? Between this and the Chikara show I’ll be attending this weekend, I’ll be up to my ears in spandex the next few days. Hard to imagine why I’ve managed to stay single for so long. I’m just kidding! Okay sit back, hit pause on that Kevin Kelly Show episode you’ve been putting off finishing and let’s head down to ringside!
Your announcers tonight are Tom Phillips and Renee Young.
NAOMI VS. ROSA MENDES
Oh Superstars, you always keep me guessing. I can’t remember the last time Rosa wasn’t involved in a tag match or some Divas battle royal on television, but I’m certainly not complaining about her being here. If you have people on your roster, you might as well use them. Otherwise they should get the Brodus Clay treatment! Back to Rosa, I loved her work as the valet/manager for Hunico & Epico. I’d buy a reunion someday if the boys ever dump their bull. Their run together didn’t have the legs I hoped it would, but I digress. Phillips mentions that this is a battle of current and future cast mates of Total Divas so my previously written Total Divas Annihilation Theorem is out the window in this match.
Naomi has been hot of late and has a PPV match against her former partner this Sunday. Speaking of hot, she did this move in the corner where she caught Rosa’s face between her tree trunk legs and shook her massive booty in Mendes’ face. It was at this point that I got up and took a rather cold shower. Typical Divas TV match here as Rosa got some offense in during a brief heat segment. She even hit a Dino Bravo side slam at one point. Mrs. Uso wouldn’t stay down for long after executing a nifty hurricanrana on the floor. She nearly lost it though when she missed a split-legged moonsault (damn, she’s good!), but would recover to hit an inverted DDT finisher to pick up the win. WINNER: NAOMI
Thoughts: Excellent tune up for her kickoff show bout at Battleground for Naomi. I believe she will get the strap someday as she is way too talented for just a weekly Superstars spot. Just dust off Cameron and move onto bigger things girl! Oh and Rosa, call me!
Won’t you… follow me… into the jungle?
Get used to that tune folks. You will be hearing that all weekend long!
If you are a fan of PTBN, then you’ll already know that I got called up to the big leagues, so to speak, and scribed my very first Raw Recap this week for the late great Scott Criscuolo (Only kidding, he is still alive and well and I’m probably drinking a Naragansett Del’s Shandy with him as you read this!).
If you wish to read what I thought of the USA/Russia Detente and all the other highlights from Raw, feel free and click over and check out all the action from last Monday night. It’s okay, I’ll be waiting here the whole time. When you come back, let’s jump to our Superstars main event.
R-TRUTH (W/ XAVIER WOODS) VS. RYBACK (W/ CURTIS AXEL)
I’ll start with a mini-rant here and ask a simple question. Why the hell is Xavier Woods not wrestling? If he is one of the guys you think is part of your future, shouldn’t he be the one being showcased in matches like this? I mean, he was a hot commodity at NXT last fall and now he is playing second banana to a guy who made his PPV debut in 2000. Then he got fed to Rusev and got murdered for the past six months and now has been relegated to lip syncing Truth’s tired entrance rap. Ugh, swig of Shandy for the underutilized talent.
Okay, back to the match. Truth does his usual jiving and dancing until he dumps the big guy out of the ring heading into break. I see a commercial for Road to Paloma and realized that Lisa Bonet is actually still alive and getting “work.” I also wonder how one gets “turned into a maraca” but maybe I should stick to wrestling reviews. Ryback peppers Truth with stomps to the gut displaying his mesmerizing new move set. He is currently reading JBL’s book so at least we can verify his literacy from this program. Truth starts his comeback and connects with the spinning heel kick and his Booker T scissors kick combo. He scored a missile dropkick for good measure reeling the big guy into a corner. Ryback went upstairs but failed on a Superfly splash. Truth couldn’t capitalize and then in a surprise move, Ryback got on the middle ropes and chanted his old “Feed Me More” catch phrase. The crowd bought in and Ryback blasted Truth the meathook clothesline. Truth then ate the Shell Shocked slam and we throw it back to 2012! WINNER: RYBACK
Thoughts: Love the nostalgia of a dominant Ryback. Does this get him the IC belt come Sunday? Time will tell. I believe Feed Me More made a comeback in Boston at MITB and I would not be against it staying. Monster Ryback was always the best Ryback. Go ahead and turn him face again for good measure. Just one man’s opinion.
Final Thoughts: Two solid matches though the use of Truth still sticks in my craw. I suppose he can still put on good matches but this show should showcase younger guys even if they have to take their lumps once in a while. Otherwise, why are they even on the main roster? Naomi was awesome, Ryback was a beast and Battleground is upon us and the card looks stacked. Flip on the Network or go to a pub and check this one out. There are so many worse things you could do on a summer night after all.
Big Announcement: I’ve always been one to be terrible at saying goodbye whether it’s to a departing coworker, a death of a loved one or even a plate of country-fried steak, but it is bittersweet to announce that I will no longer be providing you with your once-a-week helping of WWE Superstars. I’m not going anywhere; I am, on the contrary just being reassigned to another project. I can’t get into particulars now, but you will be seeing my Matt Hardy approved smile scribing new articles soon enough and I’m tremendously excited about this new opportunity. Believe it or not, it has been a pleasure watching this show each week and I will miss it. This program, secondary and overlooked as it is, will always feel like home to me!
That being said, if you think you have what it takes to write a weekly review for WWE Superstars, send us a writing sample to firstname.lastname@example.org. We’re always looking for qualified writers and the weekly recaps are some of the site’s most popular articles. Plus, I got my start here and look at me now! I’m making it rain! (Disclaimer: McGinn is not actually making anything, let alone rain.) Give it a shot and join the pop culture revolution here at placetobenation.com. Also, for more updates on my work including the latest from The Steve Corino Show, follow me on Twitter @DmcG4881.