McGinn’s WWE Superstars Recap – 2/13/14

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Happy Valentine’s Weekend Superstars Nation or as I like to call it, “The Big VD.” No, I’m not going to slam the 14th of February and insult your intelligence. Besides that one example a few sentences ago, I won’t be childish and call it by it’s other names like Single Appreciation Day, National Hey Get A Room Day or Jimmy Hoffa’s Birthday (1913). I won’t call it a “Hallmark Holiday” or just an excuse to buy pharmacy chocolates, overpriced teddy bears and something called the Hoodie-Footie Women’s Pajamas. I won’t even point out that it also has become a big Facebook holiday where every one I know posts pictures of the presents they got or the pictures of their adorable children or those insipid fake valentine posts like the one the Patriots sent out that read, “You Gronk-spiked an arrow through my heart.” Okay, I’m done vomiting. What I actually want to do is to seriously wish everyone in the Nation a Happy Valentine’s Day and hopefully you spend time this weekend with the people you love and cherish the most. I know Aksana and I have some very special plans but being a gentleman and your humble corespondent, I won’t ever kiss and tell. So sit back, cozy up with that special someone and let’s head down to ringside!

Your announcers tonight are once again, Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton. I guess this is a thing now.

NATALYA VS. TAMINA SNUKA

The rubber match is upon us in the burgeoning rivalry of second-generation divas. Two weeks ago on Main Event, Natty picked up the win but we were fit to be tied last week on this very program when Snuka kicked Neidhart into next week. So here we are! The announcers keep teasing a Snuka challenge of AJ’s title even though they are currently working together. I posed the idea of a Shawn Michaels/Diesel dynamic between these two and with Naomi currently on the shelf, might they make this a Mania match? It certainly is possible but they may elect to throw a celebrity in the Divas spot like last year, but now I’m getting way ahead of myself and who fantasy books womens’ matches honestly!

Tamina looks dominant early walloping Mrs. Tyson Kidd with a flying clothesline and once again smacking her with that heavy black jacket. They are pretty much fighting the same bout as last week with some rest holds and Snuka never hesitating to drop a knee or two. She delivered a powerslam and continued to work on Natty’s midsection before coming up empty on a stinger splash in the corner. Natalya showed life after that connecting with a series of clotheslines but was put down with a boot to the dome after a failed attempt at a discus lariat. Boy, that looked painful! Huge pop from the crowd when Natty turned the Samoan drop into a sharpshooter and Snuka has no choice but to play taps. WINNER: NATALYA

I’m sure they can just pull Natalya out of their pocket anytime they want a viable contender for the Divas Title. A very good start to our evening!

Our first trip to Raw from Monday begins with The Wyatts battling Rey Mysterio and the Rhodes Brotherhood. It’s odd seeing Mysterio in a jobber to the stars role but considering we’ve seen him in the mainstream since the mid-1990s, it probably makes sense for him at this point. I feel the Wyatts win every match using blind tags. In this case our hero is mugging for the crowd when Bray tagged Harper and kissed Rey with a little Sister Abigail. It’s just an observation. With that said, that closing sequence was pretty amazing and definitely worth the re-watch here. Get used to this folks, the Wyatts are here to stay!

More Raw footage follows as Sheamus teams with Christian against Zeb Colter’s Real Americans. Poor Jack Swagger. A year ago, he was making a hot return and shocked many by winning the Elimination Chamber. Now he’s just another guy in a tag match featuring three guys who could potentially win this year’s Chamber. It’s amazing what can happen in a year. For instance, this website at this time last year was the equivalent to what I got for Valentine’s Day this year, which is to say nothing at all! In any event, The Real Americans would have been terrific tag champs but Cesaro has outgrown this role and should be set up for a monster 2014. The good guys win and we go to break.

The newest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame is Lita and that definitely is well-deserved. Another terrific selection in what is quickly becoming a very loaded class. Hopefully last year’s female inductee, Trish Stratus, is somehow involved in her induction. She was amazing to watch and certainly worthy of this honor. The Women/Divas wing of the Hall just got stronger and exponentially hotter!

BIG E VS. DREW MCINTYRE (W/JINDER MAJAL)

What is this growing trend of shortening names in WWE? It’s not Antonio Cesaro anymore, it’s just Cesaro. The artist formerly known as Big E Langston is now simply called Big E. Some say the name changes are a precursor to a big push on the horizon. If that’s the case, coming soon to the Place to Be Nation, Mc G’s Raw Review!

In any event, we get a Main Event rematch here as these two blokes squared off on the Wednesday program this week. It always seems weird when they mention McIntyre as a former Intercontinental Champion and Tag Team Champion. I know it’s true but it also sounds like an event that happened 100 years ago. He was the “Chosen One” for crying out loud! Big E, meanwhile, collided with the steel ring post and then ate a drop kick to the money maker. Heath Slater is nowhere to be found and not a soul seems to give a damn. Saxton even says that many people might have forgotten that McIntyre was once a champion. Ouch! Big E mounts a comeback with the belly-to-belly suplex and the Typhoon splash. Majal tries to get involved but that went over as well as you’d expect from 3MB interference. Straps go down, the Big Ending is hit and lights out Drew! WINNER: BIG E

No surprise challenge by Majal this time around as Mr. Langston stays hot and more importantly, over with the fans.

We conclude with the main event from Raw between John Cena and Randy Orton. I actually like when these two fight but their longevity is somehow hurting what should be the best rivalry in the company. Fans are complacent with these two since we’ve seen them since 2002. Didn’t Hogan/Savage seem special in WWF but then when we saw it 800 times in WCW, it just didn’t resonate like it used to? I’m not saying their recent matches have been outstanding but I also won’t go all Pittsburgh on you and say it’s been awful either. This match in particular was very good and I doubt it will ever get its due because it’s chic to hate these guys. I am surprised that Orton keeps losing leading into the PPV but it probably means he will still be carrying the belts into the Big Easy.

Beggars can’t be choosers but I do wish they were more creative with this show. We got a repeat match in the first block and then a duplicate bout from this week’s Main Event. Perhaps the network launch will spice things up a bit on Superstars. I’ll take it though because it keeps me busy when I’m not wining and dining with Aksana! XOXO!

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Author: Dan McGinn

Dan McGinn is a former Minor League Baseball announcer, a five-star General in the #sweatervestarmy and an all around babyface who you should be happy to take home to dinner. He also happens to write about wrestling.