May 2, 2014
Kansas City, MO
The current WWE champs are as follows:
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan (4/6/2014)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E (11/18/2013)
WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose (5/19/2013)
WWE Divas Champion: Paige (4/7/2014)
WWE Tag Team Champions: The Usos (3/3/2014)
Before anything happens, we get a lengthy video package highlighting the Shield/Evolution feud and everything that went down between these two factions this past week on Raw.
Your hosts are Michael Cole & JBL.
– The Wyatt Family vs. The Usos & Sheamus
Seems totally random, but Bray Wyatt battled Sheamus on this week’s WWE Main Event, which sounds intriguing. The Usos saved Sheamus from a 3-on-1 attack to set up this match. As they often do in these six-man tags, tides turn quite frequently in the first few minutes. Nothing real interesting happens until Sheamus gives Rowan a crossbody block when he’s up against the ropes and knocks him to the floor for a nasty bump. Sheamus looked like he got the worst of that, but he’s back on his feet looking tough as nails as we go to commercial. When we return, Sheamus is stuck on the wrong side of town. He’s beaten, splashed, and kicked around. Harper nails Jey off the apron, but turns around into the Irish Curse backbreaker. Hot tag to Jimmy, he singlehandedly takes care of the Wyatts until he misses a corkscrew moonsault on Harper. Jey heads back inside to help his brother when Rowan grabs him and throws Jey out to the floor. Brogue Kick to Rowan! Sheamus can’t capitalize as Wyatt tosses him out. Jimmy sends Bray to the apron and superkicks Harper down, but didn’t see there was a blind tag and gets drilled with Sister Abigail from Bray to give the win to the Wyatts. (8:30 shown) The fight continues after the bell, but the Wyatt family stay strong. Harper nails Jimmy with the Discus Clothesline and the Wyatts stand over him because we need to follow the buzzards, ya’ll. Typical formulaic six-man tag from Smackdown. So by the book, I’m getting bored watching them. Technically they are fine, but the overall narrative is always the same no matter who is wrestling. **½
Adam Rose video airs. I have to vent about this guy. I don’t claim to be “hip”, but apparently this guy is hip right now. After weeks of seeing his vignettes and the little I’ve seen of him on NXT, I already hate him and I really hope he gets no less than fifteen Stone Cold Stunners when he finally debuts on the main roster. I don’t care what era we’re in, it’s always going to be the tough guys that get over and stay over. Gimmicks like this might be popular for a short time, but they are just flashes in the pan and rarely have any staying power. I mean, I thought everybody hated Russell Brand by now.
Here’s an Adam Rose question for everyone to ponder. Many wrestlers over the years have gotten this kind of promotion on WWE TV, but how many of them turn out well where the wrestler has had a lasting and impactful career? I’m not saying it’s never worked for anybody, but what would you say the success rate is? I can certainly tell you that it’s not very high.
Time for the WeeLC contract signing between El Torito and Hornswoggle. Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero conducts the whole thing. Los Matadores and 3MB are here to support their buddies. Again, why aren’t the little people groups getting upset over this? Heath Slater reads a bunch of silly “rock star” demands from Hornswoggle. After Hornswoggle signs and El Torito stamps the contract using his “hoof”, Los Matadores and El Torito clean house on 3MB.
– Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter)
Really glad RVD didn’t become the #1 contender to the IC title. The last thing he needs is a push in 2014. They announce a triple threat elimination match with RVD, Cesaro, and Swagger set for Extreme Rules this Sunday. Cesaro and Paul Heyman join us at the commentary table. Swagger bum rushes RVD and hits the Swagger Bomb for two. RVD kicks Swagger to the floor, who then turns around and wallops Cesaro for no good reason. Van Dam tries to surprise Swagger with a moonsault press off the apron, but misses and gets booted down. Back inside, RVD delivers a spinning heel kick and heads up top for the Five Star Frog Splash for the win. (4:00) Afterwards, Cesaro leaves RVD laying with the Neutralizer. *½
BOLIEVE. I don’t know enough to make a comment on this character yet.
– Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) vs. R-Truth (w/Xavier Woods)
This Sunday at Extreme Rules, Alexander Rusev will take on both R-Truth and Xavier Woods in a handicap match. Truth stands up to Rusev and catches him with a pair of dropkicks. Rusev bails and punches down Xavier when he runs his mouth. Truth tries a pescado, but gets caught and rammed into the apron. Back inside, Xavier wants some payback and jumps on Rusev’s back for a sleeperhold to generate a DQ. (1:00) Together, Truth and Woods clean house on Rusev trying to hint what could happen at Extreme Rules when they work together. ½*
WWE World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan comes down to the ring wearing a neck brace. He’s here to react to what happened on Raw this past week when Kane went after Daniel’s new wifey-poo Brie. Bryan says he will retain the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, but this match means much more to him. This is now a WAR because Kane attacked his family. By any means necessary, Kane is going home to hell. Apparently Kane pops up whenever somebody says hell, because here he is on the TitanTron. Kane says he likes hell and wants to show us a glimpse of what hell looks like, which is his way of segueing to a video package showcasing what Kane has done to Daniel Bryan and his wife since he donned the mask again. Once that’s over, Kane warns Bryan that he’s only begun to show him the depths of his depravity. Then lots of laughing occurs. And the four corners light on fire. Kane is still laughing.
– Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow
Sandow appears in his goofy Magneto costume again. He hits Ziggler with a few moves. He’s really no threat here. He does get the Elbow of Disdain though. At one point, Ziggler comes back and delivers a dropkick, which causes the cape to flip over into Sandow’s face. Since he can’t see, he backs up into the Zig Zag to give Ziggler the win. (3:30) Sandow did have an interesting gimmick at one point, right? ¾*
Video package for Paige hyping her first big Divas title defense against Tamina Snuka at Extreme Rules.
– Non-title match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Big E vs. Titus O’Neil
Just a reason to mention Big E taking on Bad News Barrett at Extreme Rules. Titus gets violent with Big E over at the announce table. He even busts out a Canadian backbreaker drop on the IC champ. Didn’t see that coming. When Titus puts the boots to Big E and won’t stop, the ref calls for the bell giving Big E the win via DQ. (2:30) Titus doesn’t seem to mind because he made a statement here. Afterwards, Big E returns the favor and beats the crap out of Titus on the floor. Once he’s down and out, Big E rolls Titus into the ring and stands on his chest with his fist in the air. This was GOOD, but will it lead to anything? **
The Cena/Wyatt cage match gets a cool video look.
That sets up a promo for the Wyatt family somewhere at the deepest and darkest place in the arena. He preaches more propaganda as he looks forward to destroying Cena at Extreme Rules and taking all of Cena’s fans for his own so that they can see Bray Wyatt for the light that he believes himself to be.
– WWE U.S. Champion Dean Ambrose vs. Ryback vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Curtis Axel
All three opponents are tools of the Authority it seems. The Shield have been banned from ringside tonight. As of the day that this show airs, Ambrose is just 17 days away from being US champ for an entire year with only a handful of title defenses. The three tools work together, but that never works out. This also adds some distrust and problems between Rybaxel. At one point, Ambrose gets thrown onto the timekeeper’s table by Ryback once they have all had enough of him. Back inside the ring, Axel hits the Perfectplex on Del Rio for two. Over in the corner, Del Rio stops a superplex and double stomps Axel. ADR misses the superkick to Axel, but then ducks the Meat Hook from Ryback that winds up nailing Axel. Whoops. Cross Armbreaker to Ryback! Del Rio gets powered up onto Ryback’s shoulders for the Shell Shock. Cover, 1-2-NO! Axel pulls Ryback off the pin and as he crawls towards Del Rio, Ambrose sneaks in and rolls up Axel for the 1-2-3. (8:30 shown) Fun match as WWE tends to make these four-ways pretty exciting. Little bit more interesting than most four-ways too since you have a tag team in there. ***
Pretty bland show until you got to the last two matches. In case you didn’t notice from this recap, Extreme Rules is this Sunday! Here’s the final card:
MAIN EVENT: The Shield vs. Evolution
WWE World Heavyweight Championship, Extreme Rules: Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Kane
WWE Intercontinental Championship: Big E (c) vs. Bad News Barrett
WWE Divas Championship: Paige (c) vs. Tamina Snuka
Cage Match: John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt
Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger vs. Rob Van Dam
Handicap Match: Alexander Rusev vs. R-Truth & Xavier Woods
WeeLC Match: Hornswoggle vs. El Torito
Hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoys the PPV! Until next time, so long for now.