The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 6/12/14

Taped from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Rich Brennan, Alex Riley & Renee Young

Bayley, Emma & Paige v. Charlotte, Summer Rae & Sasha Banks

Good thing they stripped Paige of the NXT title because she’d be too busy on the main roster and all. The BFFs appear to be having some interpersonal conflict, thus contradicting their name. Women, amiright? Charlotte slugs it out with Emma to start, but Sasha pulls Emma off the apron and we take a break. Back with Summer working Emma over, which sets up the figure-four headlock from Charlotte. Summer takes selfies with the front row while the others continue beating on Emma. I’m sensing a storyline here. Renee being all jealous and bitter about how Charlotte and Summer are taller than her is a weirdly neat and real touch. Sasha goes to the chinlock, but Emma fights out and makes the hot tag, which quickly leads to BFF miscommunication and a rollup of Charlotte for the pin at 13:00. Summer gives Charlotte a HAIR WHIP in retaliation, and Renee points out that it’s, like, the worst thing that you can do to another girl in elementary school. Not much to this one. **

Meanwhile, JBL signs the mysterious Mr. NXT to a contract.

Meanwhile, Alexa Bliss runs afoul of the BFFs and challenges Sasha to a match.

Colin Cassady v. Sylvester Lefort

I’m really starting to miss Enzo. Cass throws Lefort around, but gets clubbed down with some clubbing forearms. Cass quickly comes back with knees and elbows, puts him down with the big boot, and finishes with the East River slam at 2:22. Thankfully he toned down the SAWFT stuff to one occurrence, thus making it more special. ½*

Meanwhile, Tyson Kidd and Natalya have some marital discord. Dude, if the writers want to book an angle where you’re fighting with your real life spouse, JUST SAY NO. Nothing good can ever come of it!

Meanwhile, Aiden English meets old-timey strongman SIMON GOTCH. That’s a gimmick that’s perfect for NXT but I bet would instantly flop on RAW.

Sami Zayn v. Mr. NXT

So mysterious, especially the entrance, which is totally not reminiscent of anyone else. Especially not his ugly teeth. Mr. NXT puts him down with a shoulderblock and celebrates, so the crowd chants “You can’t fool us”. The announcers are baffled. The man is a gold-medal winning luchador! What’s there to be confused about? Mr. NXT throws elbows in the corner and catches Zayn with a clothesline, then actually stops to deny being Bo Dallas. No masked man has ever lied before, so I trust him. Then Zayn goes and rips the mask off and my faith is shattered. Heluva Kick finishes at 4:05 in the midst of all the confusion and tears and shattered dreams. Just a comedy match, but it was a funny gag. ½* And Sami brings out campus security and has Bo thrown out of Full Sail. Again.

NXT title: Adrian Neville v. Tyson Kidd

They trade hammerlocks on the mat and Neville dumps him and follows with a dive, which naturally has Natalya concerned. Back in, it gets two and Neville goes to a wristlock as we take a break. Back with Kidd in control, as though by some sort of sorcery, or possibly witchcraft, and he holds a chinlock. Neville escapes with a sunset flip, but Kidd rolls into a dropkick for two. Backdrop suplex gets two. Kidd cranks on a headlock, but Neville comes back with a missile dropkick and a northern lights suplex for two. Enzuigiri and standing moonsault gets two. They trade high kicks on the apron and Kidd wins that battle and apparently gets the pin, but Neville’s foot is in the ropes. And not only that, but Nat tipped off the ref! DEVIL WOMAN. So Kidd hangs him in the Tree of Woe and beats on him with a dropkick, which sets up the Sharpshooter, but Neville makes the ropes. Neville with a small package for two, and a high kick sets up the Red Arrow, but Kidd knocks him down and hits the Blockbuster for a close two. Springboard elbow gets two. Kidd goes for a chair, but Nat cockblocks him AGAIN and stops him, and that allows Neville to finish with the Red Arrow at 18:38. Women and title shots just don’t mix. ***1/2

The Pulse

Mostly a throwaway show, but a hell of a main event.