Monday Night Raw
January 27, 2014
We start the most anticipated Raw in quite some time with a recap of last night’s Royal Rumble when the Wyatt Family attacked John Cena. We head into the arena where The Authority is giggling and giddy heading to the ring. Laughing at all of us perhaps? We get clips of last night when Brock Lesnar pummeled Big Show with a chair. Stephanie is hamming it up like everyone is loving what happened, then Triple H asks did someone not get what they wanted last night? Wow this better be leading somewhere or else the mass exodus begins. Triple H recaps everything that happened last night. Stephanie announces WWE World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton will face five other superstars inside the Elimination Chamber for the title. Then out comes Daniel Bryan and the place goes berserk. Bryan says don’t chant Yes or his name because the Authority gets mad. Bryan said he put on an epic match and they agreed. Bryan says he was screwed out of being in the Royal Rumble. The Authority says they were looking out for his well-being. We get some back and forth including the crowd. Bryan gets in Triple H’s face and says put me in the Chamber or else. Triple H predictably calls out the Shield. They beat Bryan down until Sheamus and John Cena come out to even the odds. There’s our main event tonight.
MATCH: Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara vs. Real Americans
I fast forward the Zeb Colter promo because they’ve become pretty lame to be honest. The signs are cool. Poor Rey got the brunt of the vitriol last night because he got #30. Colter got all over Swagger and slapped him to motivate him. Please tell me they’re not turning Swagger face? Are the bookers just going to do everything the opposite of what the fans want just to prove a point? The match isn’t bad as everyone is trying to regroup after being visibly rattled by last night. We think the masked crusaders are going to win but Cesaro drills Sin Cara in mid-air with an uppercut and hits the Neutralizer for the win. WINNERS: Real Americans
So it will be Cena, Sheamus, and Bryan vs The Shield in a six man tag main event. The winning team fills three spots in the Chamber. I bet The Shield wins.
Bad News Barrett is on his pedestal. He says the Miz will face Dolph Ziggler in the battle of Cleveland. I forgot Dolph was from Cleveland.
We get a vignette for the WWE Network, pertaining to the Monday Night Wars. 28 days away.
MATCH: Fandango vs. R-Truth
69 days away from WrestleMania. Xavier Woods is at ringside, blaming JBL for taking his Rumble number. That girl Emma from NXT is still dancing in the crowd. The match is ok, and R-Truth wins with his finisher. WINNER: R-Truth
Back from break and GM Brad Maddox is in the ring to botch something. He introduces the champ. Randy Orton comes out and really nobody cares. They don’t even boo…they just don’t care. Orton mocks Cena by saying the Champ is here. He says everyone thought Cena was going to win. Frankly Randy, nobody cared. Orton is pissed that he has to defend the title in the Chamber. Out comes Batista who’s getting a moderate pop. I guess those people didn’t get the finger last night. He gets in the ring and now the crowd boos a bit. This promo is going to suck. Batista is dressed more manly as the DANIEL BRYAN chants are loud. Batista is clearly rattled by it. He says he doesn’t care who the Champion is. It’s not personal. With that out comes Brock Lesnar. I think he’s loved more than Batista. Paul Heyman tells Maddox that Brock wants to face Orton for the title tonight or Lesnar can face Batista for the #1 contender slot. He says Brock wants an answer tonight or else. This is an interesting twist. Lesnar is adding a nice wild card to this disaster of a title situation.
BATTLE OF CLEVELAND: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
Dolph has a Cavs jersey on, Miz has a Browns jersey on. Would anyone admit either of these loyalties? The match is boring as Dolph slaps a sleeper on Miz. There’s a Cleveland Sucks chant going on. That’s disturbing. Miz slaps a Figure Four on and Dolph reaches the ropes. Dolph wins because he has to. WINNER: Dolph Ziggler
MATCH: Curtis Axel & Ryback vs. The Usos
Maybe we’re looking at the next #1 contenders here. Heels dominate early but the Usos make a comeback and Ryback eats the pin. Wow when Curtis Axel is protected you know you’re in trouble. WINNERS: The Usos
MATCH: Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio
So will Batista and Del Rio hook up at the Chamber PPV? He has an inset interview where he says Batista won’t make it to WrestleMania. The announcers are pumping up the feud as the crowd is chanting “JBL JBL JBL”. He acknowledges the audience. Now Lawler is getting chants and he acknowledges it. The match isn’t bad as Kofi really brought his working boots. Del Rio wins with a kick to the head. WINNER: Alberto Del Rio
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: New Age Outlaws (c) vs Rhodes Brothers
The new NAO t-shirts are hideous. Wow a Jim Ross dig. Come on guys that’s low and stale. Lots of stalling by the champs as the announce team are ripping each other for various things. Awesome, Cole acknowledges that maybe JBL stole Daniel Bryan’s spot last night. I think they should have done that as part of the storyline. The match moves along until Brock Lesnar comes down and ends the match by F-5ing the brothers. WINNERS: Rhodes Brothers by disqualification
Paul Heyman says the Authority didn’t answer the question on who Brock faces tonight so Brock destroys the Rhodes brothers with chair shots.
8 DIVA TAG MATCH: Real Dvas vs. Total Divas
YAWN! WINNERS: Total Divas
Cameron pinned AJ so a title match will likely be in her future. Why couldn’t Brock Lesnar come out now?
So the Ultimate Warrior is in the Hall of Fame this year, and we now announce the next inductee. FUCK YEAH! Jake “The Snake” Roberts. We are 2 for 2 in awesome inductees this year.
There was a Kevin Kelly sign in Cleveland tonight.
Another vignette for the WWE Network…talking about the new awesome show “WrestleMania Rewind”.
SIX MAN ELIMINATION CHAMBER QUALIFYING TAG MATCH: John Cena, Daniel Bryan & Sheamus vs. The Shield
Well this match will tell the tale. Does this rumored “big push” begin for Daniel Bryan tonight or will we as fans be left dangling another week? Christian comes back Friday on Smackdown. Incidentally we haven’t seen the Wyatt Family yet. With the time this match started it could be a while. We get the dueling Cena chants. Fans we don’t have time for Cena crap. We need more Daniel Bryan. We actually get a Roman Reigns chant. That’s cool. Wow Sheamus needed six anchors to set that torn left labrum. Cole said Sheamus did Pilates to rehab. Who admits that? Sheamus does the rope punches on Rollins’ flak jacket. That’s dumb. Bryan tags in and the place erupts. Does Cena have a deal with Calvin Klein? So Reigns really cocks that Superman Punch by punching the canvas. Cena is face in peril for most of this match. After some chaos Bryan and Rollins are alone in the ring. Bryan reverses a roll up into a Yes Lock but Ambrose breaks it up. Reigns powers out of an FU but then as expected here come the Wyatt Family and the match ends in a disqualification. What the fuck does that mean? WINNERS: John Cena, Sheamus and Daniel Bryan
So they do get the shots in the Chamber match. The Shield are pissed. So fans sort of got what they wanted. Bryan is in the Chamber as his music blasts. With that we are out.
SCOTT’S TAKE: Not a bad show with some good in ring action. we got what we wanted for Daniel Bryan even if it was a little flat for an ending. Three more Raws to work out the kinks in the storylines before the Chamber. No CM Punk. He needed a night off.