WWE Main Event
December 18, 2013
Announcers: Josh Matthews & The Miz
*And in an unusual break from the norm on Main Event we start with Jolly Ol’ Saint Mick, Foley Claus, coming out and giving some gifts to the fans. Mick gives Josh a Ryback doll. Obviously this all the WWE Shop objects that no one wants to buy. And here comes the real Ryback, along with Curtis Axel. Couple of bad fat jokes by Ryback and Axel, with Foley condescendingly agreeing with them. Ry-Axel comes in the ring and circle Santa Foley, Ryback recalls how when he was small he wanted a weight set and instead he got a Thighmaster. And now apparently Miz is a face as he sticks up for Santa. Really? Miz and Foley agree to sing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, making fun of Axel and then Ryback. Oh great, Miz against Curtis Axel. The only thing worse than face Miz is face Miz after turning to heel Miz for a week until the writers remembered he had a shitty TV movie to be released.
*R-Truth & Xavier Woods vs. 3MB
Alex Riley continues his career as the Miz’s stand-in, doing commentary from here on out. Heath Slater is still recovering from vocal cord surgery. I wish they had HNN reports for him. Xavier and R-Truth are in control to start. Josh Matthews denies the existence of Todd Phillips, further confusing as to how much the NXT universe is connected to the WWE universe, despite it being the best show in the wrestling galaxy. Anyway, we go to a COMMERCIAL BREAK with Xavier and Truth still in control and come back with Jinder with Xavier in an armbar, before working out of it, but he goes for a dropkick and Drew hold Jinder and then comes in. Drew hits a tackle into the corner, until Jinder comes back in. Double suplex by 3MB, which Jinder follows with a chinlock. I’ll be honest I’m watching this match on FFWD and it’s still slow. Xavier flips out a backdrop and tags to R-Truth. Truth hits both members of 3MB and hits a scissor kick on Drew and gets two, before Jinder breaks the count. Xavier and Jinder fight out of the ring and Truth hits whatever neckbreaker finisher he uses. Technically this was a fine match, but it just held no interest for me. 0 for 1. I know this is a C-Show with no progression, but didn’t the Funkadactlys pretty much side with Truth and Woods? Where were they?
*Divas Title Match: (C) AJ Lee w/Tamina vs. Kaitlyn
AJ, AKA Best in the World, goes at Kaitlyn to start, but Kaitlyn overpowers to start. AJ goes for a cross-body, but Kaitlyn catches her and over powers her again, but AJ ducks and kick and takes control with a chinlock. AJ pounds Kaitlyn into the corner, as Josh works in the mandatory Total Divas reference. A reverse sleeper s put on by AJ, called a Black Widow by A-Ri (why is this guy employed), but Kaitlyn runs AJ into the corner, before AJ goes to a sleeper. AJ tries a kick to the gut, but Kaitlyn hits a tilt-a-whirl slam and a few clotheslines and shoulder-tackle for two. Kaitlyn goes for something with AJ on her back, but Tamina gets on the apron to distract her, and AJ locks in the Black Widow for the win. AJ is awesome and is always amazing on Main Evnt and gets the easy point. 1 for 2.
*Raw Recap: No one likes Randy Orton the ultimate unified Champ. John Cena urges him to fight Daniel Bryan and Trips & Steph agree and Bryan and Orton have the second best match of the year on Raw (Cena/Punk in February is the TV match of the year). Somehow the match ends up hyping another Cena/Orton match. We then get a promo for Bad Santa Sandow vs. Good Santa Mark Henry for Raw.
*Curtis Axel w/Ryback vs. The Miz w/Foley Claus
The match starts with the Miz giving Axel a Ryback action figure. Axel stomps it for some reason. He doesn’t have a perfect intelligence. Miz takes the fight to Axel and clotheslines him out of the ring. Josh and A-Ri talk about the Kofi/Miz feud and I’m still confused as to what Miz is supposed to be. Axel hits a clothesline and says Merry Christmas, ugh. Chinlock by Axel. Miz hits a flapjack out of the chinlock. We learn Axel has two youngsters named Brock and Blake, obviously after Lesnar and Beverly, two of the biggest bad-asses in the wrestling world, or universe for that matter. Axel misses a clothesline, but then hits the Outback Jack backward clothesline. Axel goes back to his preferred finisher: the chinlock. Miz fights out and hits a knee lift followed by his little reverse DDTà neckbreaker, but misses a Skull Crushing Finale. Axel hits a stun-gun and then a neckbreaker which might be his finisher (I can’t keep track of all the mid-carders with neckbreaker finishers), but gets two. Miz starts working on the knee and goes for a figure four, but Axel fights out of it. Foley really looks like Santa and I don’t really mean that as a compliment, I think he’s 48. Miz goes for the figure 4, but Ryback gets on the apron. Foley pulls him off, and Miz dropkicks him off and Foley pulls out a stocking for a Mandible Claw. In the ring the Miz hits a Skull Crushing Finale for the win. Well it wasn’t great, but 13 year old me would hate me if I didn’t give match involving Socco a point, so a reluctant 2 for 3.
Final Thoughts: Meh, meandering show as I expect for the next two weeks. I just want to know what the Miz is. I hate him if that helps the writing staff at all.