Matt’s Smackdown Recap 9/5/14

A ten-man tag team match, playa! [Photo Courtesy of]
A ten-man tag team match, playa! [Photo Courtesy of]
WWE: Smackdown
September 5, 2014
Lincoln, NE
Pinnacle Bank Arena

The current WWE champs are as follows:
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar (8/17/2014)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Dolph Ziggler (8/17/2014)
WWE U.S. Champion: Sheamus (5/5/2014)
WWE Divas Champion: Paige (8/17/2014)
WWE Tag Team Champions: The Usos (3/3/2014)

Home of the Cornhuskers! I’m expecting several Nebraska jokes tonight.

Your hosts are Tom Phillips, Michael Cole, and JBL.

John Cena kicks off the show. The Authority talks about how Cena is some old fragile man after SummerSlam who can’t cut it anymore, but Cena feels otherwise and looks forward to getting his redemption come Night of Champions. One thing you can say about Cena: he knows how to psyche himself up. Well, Kane and Seth Rollins interrupt to accuse Cena of having a “mid-career crisis”. Cena points out the absurdity of the progression of Kane’s character over the years and basically calls Rollins a child. Don’t you talk to my birthday brother like that! When Kane starts to  exercise his authority, Roman Reigns starts walking down through the crowd to the ring. Reigns really needs an acting coach. Since Randy Orton isn’t here tonight, he can focus all his attention on Rollins and Kane. Rollins informs us that they don’t have to fight Reigns and Cena because the Authority is ten steps ahead of them. Enter the Wyatt family. Next thing we see, Team Black and Blue shows up. Big Show, Mark Henry, and Chris Jericho slowly walk towards the heelish five until COOHHH. In his best Teddy Long impression, he makes a TAG TEAM MATCH for all ten men for tonight’s main event. Ha, they even play Teddy Long’s theme as Triple H heads backstage.

–      Non-title match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro

US champ Sheamus joins us for commentary. Cesaro shows up Dolph to start, but Ziggler fights back with a neckbreaker and hits that sweat-dripping jumping elbow drop for two. Ziggler gets caught while flying into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Cesaro starts twisting on Ziggler’s neck with a cravat. Ziggler tries a sunset flip, but Cesaro lifts him up off the ground and presses him up only to bring him down for a gutbuster for two. Commercials! When we come back, Cesaro blocks the Stinger Splash with a European uppercut for two. Butterfly powerbomb by Cesaro, but You Can’t Powerbomb Kidman. There’s the CRZ reference of the week. Cesaro escapes a sleeper hold and attempts the Very European Uppercut, but Dolph counters with a DDT for 1-2-NO! Ziggler misses the Famouser and gets drilled with a lariat, but then rolls up Cesaro for the quick pinfall. (6:45 shown) Afterwards, Cesaro beats the crap out of Ziggler, but Sheamus saves by tossing Cesaro the US belt and giving him the Brogue Kick to teach him a lesson. **½

Stardust turns into Gollum having a conversation with himself. I can’t tell you if he’s been doing this in the past or not because I really haven’t been paying much attention to these promos. Goldust shows up to calm him down. The Usos will get what they deserve. At Night of Champions, they will get what they deserve. If the stars won’t align, they will do it themselves.

–      Jimmy Uso (w/Jey Uso) vs. Heath Slater (w/Titus O’Neil)

Jey is WAY overselling this knee injury. Unless the WWE drug policy is borderline Christian Science serious. Jimmy hits Slater with the Corkscrew Moonsault early on in the match. Titus jumps up on the apron, but Jey gets his attention while Jimmy superkicks him down. Slater catches Jimmy with a Leg Lariat and a nearfall. He heads up top, but flies down into a superkick to set up the Samoan Splash for the win. (3:00) Little too much offense from Slater for my tastes. But hey, it’s cool. *

Earlier today, Stephanie McMahon added AJ Lee to the WWE Divas title match between Paige and Nikki Bella at Night of Champions.

Over to Byron Saxton, he checks in with Nikki Bella for a response. She thanks Stephanie for the opportunity at Night of Champions and feels liberated now that her sister Brie’s shadow won’t be hanging over her. Is anyone seriously buying this feud? It would have actually been moderately intriguing if BRIE was the one who was turned heel by constantly never forgiving Nikki for what she was “forced” to do by the Authority at SummerSlam. The look on Nikki’s face at SummerSlam showed that she didn’t seem committed to the act, so why not go with the more interesting plot? The holding me back sibling thing is just SOOOO played.

Rusev and Lana end up in the ring. Lana says this isn’t the heartland of America because America has no heart. If it did, it would be in China. When she starts talking about Mark Henry, he must interrupt. Henry says they are showing him their colors lately, and not the colors of that flag. What, that RED WHITE AND BLUE flag? Henry wants an answer to his challenge and then basically calls Lana an escort. Well, Lana accepts the challenge. Whether it had anything to do with being called an escort, I’m not sure. Henry promises a red, white, and blue beatdown come Night of Champions. Not the Russian red, white, and blue kind though; the American kind.

–      Non-title match: WWE Divas Champion Paige vs. Brie Bella

AJ Lee joins us for commentary. Nikki Bella is sitting at ringside as well, but I think four people with headsets is plenty. The match is really inconsequential as it’s all about AJ Lee actually realizing that Nikki Bella could cost her the Divas title at Night of Champions, so she goes into her dark place and beats the crap out of Nikki to create some tension for the match. Brie shows some sympathy for her sister by pulling AJ off her, but it ends up costing her the match as Paige delivers the Ram-Paige cradle DDT for the win. (4:00) I like what they did here weaving these stories together. Good stuff! *½

The Wyatt Family are really looking forward to Monday night when Bray gets Chris Jericho inside a steel cage.

–      Bo Dallas vs. Zack Ryder

Way too short as Dallas quickly puts Ryder away with the Bo Dog at :45. Dallas gets on the mic afterwards and feels that since all these people live in Nebraska, something terrible has obviously happened to them in their lifetime. However, these Cornhuskers can turn their lives around if they will just stand to their feet, put their hands over their hearts, and say in a loud clear voice. Well, I don’t know what we should say since Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter interrupt. Swagger runs down and beats the crap out of Dallas before kicking him clear out of the ring. Colter shows him how it’s done. ¼*

–      The Wyatt Family, Seth Rollins & Kane vs. John Cena, Roman Reigns, Big Show, Mark Henry & Chris Jericho

Nebraska clearly loves Chris Jericho. Show and Henry dominate everybody to start. Much to the delight of the crowd, Jericho tags in and punches the crap out of Rowan to take us into commercial. When we return, Show becomes *your* face in peril. Everybody takes a turn keeping Show on his back. Reigns gets a hot tag and gives Rollins a little too much attention down on the floor as Harper sends him into the barricade. Commercials! When we come back, Reigns has knuckles squeezing on his brain courtesy of Erick Rowan. After Rollins has his fun, Harper spends a little time with Reigns. Kane thinks he can superplex Reigns, but gets shoved down and drilled with a flying clothesline. Hot tag to Jericho, he hits Kane with the Lionsault, but Kane pops right back up and goozles him. Chokeslam fails and so does the Walls of Jericho as Bray Wyatt hops in the ring. Now the heels get some heat off Jericho. Bray dominates Y2J for a while, but Jericho manages to break loose with a dropkick and hot tags Cena. As he looks to finish off Rollins with the usual, the match completely breaks down. When the ring is nearly cleared, Cena surprises Rollins with the STF only for the Wyatt family to pounce on the submission hold for the DQ. (17:45 shown) I get that the Wyatt Family are hired to protect Rollins, but come on now. Nearly thirty minutes of TV time and a very fun match. Huge ten-man brawl results. The good guys hit their finishers and stand tall in the ring as we close out the show. ***½

Until next week, so long for now.