Matt’s Smackdown Recap 9/13/13

After Daniel Bryan tells Randy Orton what he's all about, he shows Orton how quickly he can make people tap out to the YES Lock.
After Daniel Bryan tells Randy Orton what he’s all about on The Cutting Edge, he shows Orton how quickly he can make people tap out to the YES Lock just 48 hours before Night of Champions.
[Photo Courtesy of WWE]
WWE: Smackdown
September 13, 2013
Ottawa, ON, Canada
Canadian Tire Centre

The current WWE champs are as follows:
WWE Champion: Randy Orton (8/18/2013)
World Heavyweight Champion: Alberto Del Rio (6/16/2013)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Curtis Axel (6/16/2013)
WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose (5/19/2013)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins (5/19/2013)
WWE Divas Champion: AJ Lee (6/16/2013)

Your hosts are Michael Cole and JBL.

We kick off the program with the Big Show. In case you missed Raw this past week, check out Scott’s EPIC Raw Recap for all the latest happenings concerning the Big Show being forced to punch Daniel Bryan in the face when he doesn’t want to punch Daniel Bryan in the face by COOHHH and Randy Orton. Show is being made to read a public apology for his insubordination, but speaks with the zeal of a sixth grader reading aloud in English class. Out comes Triple H. Despite the lack of sincerity, Helmsley thanks Big Show for the apology. HHH reminds Show that he’s a locker room leader and says not doing what the COO asks you to do in any business would be ‘grounds for dismissal’. Show begs him not to do that. COOHHH puts him at ease and says he wouldn’t do that to him. However, he is suspended for tonight without pay, which stings quite a bit since the Big Show is broke. Who is he, Bill Watts now? Doesn’t everyone pretty much know that wrestlers are under contract these days? This isn’t 1982 where if you don’t work, you don’t get paid. Anyways, as HHH waves Show to follow him backstage, here comes the Shield. A big beatdown ensues, but Big Show fights back. Out on the floor, Show punches a chair away from Reigns and then throws Ambrose and Rollins around. With Reigns staggered, Show spears him from the announce table to send Reigns bouncing back towards the barricade. Cole – “[Show]’s not even getting paid for this!” Inside the ring, Show can’t chokeslam Reigns and Ambrose thanks to Rollins, so he balls up his fist to knock him out. Unfortunately, that’s when Reigns appears from out of nowhere and blasts Show with a chair ten whole times to make him pay for his “insubordination”. The Shield then manage to Triple Powerbomb a devastated Big Show to leave him laying once and for all.

Alicia Fox, Layla, and Aksana vs. Naomi, Natalya, and Brie Bella (w/Nikki Bella, Eva Marie, and the Funkadactyls)

WWE Divas champ AJ Lee joins us for commentary. With AJ having to defend her title this weekend at Night of Champions against three members of the ‘Total Divas’ cast, nobody from that team has their mind on the match as they keep looking over at AJ. Alicia Fox and Naomi work most of this. When Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter on Aksana, AJ jumps into the ring for the DQ in 2:00. The ‘Total Divas’ team abuses AJ afterwards until Layla helps pull her buddy out to safety. ¼*

EXCUSE ME. Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero is in the ring to emcee a dance contest between R-Truth and Fandango & Summer Rae. Before we can begin, the Miz (looking like Disco Stu) interrupts, and then so does the Great Khali, who quickly becomes the awkward *sixth* wheel in the ring. This could only be REALLY entertaining to the lowest common denominator of wrestling fans. Poor Khali isn’t even coordinated enough to do the cabbage patch dance. The Miz wins after doing what I believe Cole called ‘twerking’. Looks more like ‘tweaking’ to me. I don’t claim to be hip enough to even know what is going on anymore. I do know there seems to be like a new dance craze about every three months or so and that seems to be it these days. Fandango is appalled at the end result and tries to attack the winner, but winds up taking a beating from Miz and R-Truth. Does this mean ‘Awesome Truth’ is making a comeback? Time will tell. NOW GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU CRAZY KIDS WITH YOUR TWEETER SEX MACHINES.

El Matadores! Coming Soon! ¡Olé!

In the back, Ryback interviews some silly-looking skinny weekend warrior who has dreams and aspirations to be in the main event at WrestleMania. Fat chance, pal. Dreams are coming true tonight because Ryback has dreamed of kicking the holy crap out of this guy.

Elsewhere, Vickie Guerrero tells Ricardo Rodriguez that she doesn’t want him to be in Rob Van Dam’s corner at Night of Champions for fear of his safety. When Ricardo insists that he be in RVD’s corner, Vickie first puts him in a match with Rob Van Dam in his corner against Alberto Del Rio for later tonight.

Santino Marella vs. Damien Sandow

Cole and JBL discuss Santino recently opening up his own gym outside Toronto called ‘Battle Arts Academy‘. Sandow hits the Elbow of Disdain, but Santino comes back and delivers the Cobra for the win in 2:00. Makes me wonder with this looooong and embarrassing losing streak that Sandow doesn’t cash in the briefcase very soon. Then again, maybe they are waiting for Cody to come back first. ½*

Michael Cole introduces us to the IC champ Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman. Mr. Heyman has still not shaved his face or slept apparently, because his eyes are looking really red and tired. Just fantastic attention to detail. Before the interview commences, Cole shows us a video package detailing the recent happenings between Punk and Heyman. When Cole asks the question about their game plan for this Sunday, Axel tries to play on our sympathies telling us that it’s clear Heyman is stressed out. He brings up the point that CM Punk won’t get to Paul Heyman because CM Punk can’t beat Curtis Axel. Didn’t he pin you like three Raws ago? Heyman claims he has a ‘persecution complex’ and admits he’s not a fighter and actually an advocate of peace. He then calls for a public boycott of this upcoming PPV and tries to convince people that they should spend their money on something else instead of watching the destruction of Paul Heyman. He considers people should use that money towards a college fund for the kids. I know PPVs are expensive, but come on Paul. Does your wife need a new pair of slingbacks? Most of the basement dwellers watching Smackdown on a Friday night certainly aren’t married or anywhere close to it, Paul. Know your demos, guy. Heyman continues to put over the fact that if the WWE fans don’t boycott this PPV, CM Punk will lay down such a beating that there will be no more Paul Heyman in WWE. The crowd seems okay with that. If this is the last we hear of Heyman, he admits that he loves CM Punk. However, he will never forgive each and every one of us for what is about to happen. The “Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye” song is sang by the crowd to end the segment.

ICYMI from earlier tonight: COOHHH left the Big Show all alone to be assaulted by the Shield.

Non-title match: World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. Ricardo Rodriguez (w/Rob Van Dam)

A couple hope spots by Ricardo, but he’s got no chance. Del Rio stops him up top and brings him down with a wicked reverse superplex for the win in 2:30. ADR slaps on the Cross Armbreaker to Ricardo after the bell, but Van Dam makes the save and hits the Five Star Frog Splash. As Del Rio rolls out, he holds up the belt pretty much confirming he won’t leave Night of Champions with it. ¾*

Video package set to the Bryan-Orton feud with Triple H talking over it telling Daniel Bryan to prove him wrong if he’s what is ‘good for business’.

Non-title match: WWE U.S. Champion Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

If Ziggler wins, he gets a U.S. title shot at Night of Champions. This was going okay as a back and forth TV match. Ziggler hits his ten elbow drops, but Ambrose avoids the Stinger Splash as we go into commercial. The heat segment continues after the break leading to a Famouser by Ziggler. When he jumps on the pin, Rollins and Reigns run down for the DQ at 7:30 shown. The Usos run down to make the save when out comes Vickie Guerrero to settle this situation. She awards Ziggler the U.S. title match this Sunday and turns this into an impromptu six-man tag. **

The Shield vs. The Usos & Dolph Ziggler

The match is joined in progress when we return from commercials. Ziggler is *your* face in peril to set up the hot tag to Jimmy. He hits the Alley Us on Rollins for two. The match breaks down and one of the Usos tries the Samoan Splash on Rollins, but hits knees on the way down. Rollins inside cradles him for the win in 6:30 shown. A spirited little contest. I want to see Usos/Shield II at Night of Champions, but I have a feeling that they’re going to swerve us and put the Prime Time Players over in the Tag Team Turmoil match. **½

The Cutting Edge: That’s right. Edge returns after seeing his best friend Christian get brutalized at the hands of the Shield because it’s ‘good for business’ last week on Raw. I thought he would be gone, for sure. He hasn’t forgotten what happened between he and Triple H. When Christian does comes back, Edge encourages him to tear the Shield apart. Time to cut through the crap though. His guests tonight are Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan. Edge right off the cuff asks Orton how it feels to be a sellout. Orton just thinks he’s jealous that he can’t wrestle anymore and says he did what everybody else would have done if the opportunity was offered to them. WWE just wanted a change from the last ten years of John Cena and Bryan wasn’t going to be part of that plan. Orton admits Daniel Bryan is a great wrestler and he’s good for business, but Orton is what is BEST for business. Orton calls him naive, which strikes a nerve with Bryan. He’s sick and tired of hearing from the Corporation about what is best for business because the best things in his life have nothing to do with what is best for business. Bryan doesn’t care about balance sheets or making more money for WWE. It’s about love, satisfaction, passion, and dreams. All he’s wanted his entire life is to hold the WWE title, not be the face of a corporation. His dream will come true this Sunday at Night of Champions. That final comment he makes leads to a fight, but Bryan gets the better end of the deal as he puts Orton in the YES Lock. Here comes the men in zebra shirts come out to break up the fun as we close out the show to YES chants.

Final Thoughts: Rather weak go-home show for Night of Champions. I have to point out that of all the matches coming up on the PPV, this world title feud is weaker than FDR’s legs. Much like last month for SummerSlam, they were ready to go when Raw went off the air. Smackdown needs to feel like two different shows like it used to feel. Otherwise, it just feels like I’m getting five hours of Raw a week.

Matt’s Smackdown Top Five:
1) The Shield (just dominant tonight)
2) Big Show (for dishing out a good beating and taking one as well)
3) Ryback (hilarious, as always)
4) Dolph Ziggler (another night at the office for this man)
5) Paul Heyman (good but not great promo)

Here are my Night of Champions picks. I feel something shaking up the Shield here because they’ve been a little too strong lately. Possibly Big Show-related and a reward for the Usos. Like I said earlier, they could try to swerve us.

WWE Title: Orton© over Bryan
World Title: Del Rio© over Rob Van Dam
US Title:
Ambrose© over Ziggler
Tag Titles: The Usos over Rollins & Reigns© – NEW TAG CHAMPS!
Divas Title: AJ Lee© over Natalya, Brie Bella, and Naomi
Elimination Handicap Match: Punk over Axel and Heyman
Tag Team Turmoil: The Usos over Prime Time Players, 3MB, Tons of Funk, and the Real Americans