Ryan’s Main Event Review 8/19/2014

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WWE Main Event
August 19th, 2014
Announcers: Michael Cole & Byron Saxton

*Why is Michael Cole on Main Event? One of the more enjoyable parts of the show was having two guys just call the match and not trying to tell stories.

*Curtis Axel vs. Sheamus

Right before the match starts out comes Cesaro dressed in a fancy suit and he sits down to do commentary. Cesaro puts over the Network being available in 170 countries, while Sheamus overpowers Axel to begin. Axel gets some shots in but Sheamus hits a powerslam for two, while Cesaro talks about how he knows how to talk 5 different languages. Axel hits a kneelift to Sheamus, knocking him out of the ring. Cole talks about if Axel wins here it puts him in the US title hunt. See, why not just make this for the US title? It’s not like the result is in doubt anyway. Axel hangs Sheamus in the tree of woe and kicks away and then pulls him against the post and then a kick from the floor. Axel covers for two. We go to COMMERCIAL BREAK as Cesaro speaks German. We see an ad for Leprechaun and come back and see Axel with a chinlock on Sheamus. Sheamus goes for the battering ram, but Axel hits a forearm as he comes in. Axel then adds a Perfect-plex for two. Cesaro rightfully points out that he was the first person to hit a forearm to counter the battering ram. Sheamus slaps away at Sheamus in the corner and that hulks him up. Sheamus runs through him with some clotheslines and then a suplex. Cole calls a knee-lift, Harley Race-like and Cesaro tells us Race would not like that comparison. Sheamus hits the Ten Beats and follows with the Brogue Kick for the win. After the match Cesaro grabs the US title and tosses it at Sheamus. Good enough match and Cesaro on commentary was good and I’m always down for some Sheamus/Cesaro slugging away on each other. 1 for 1

*BREAKING NEWS: Triple H announces that John Cena has submitted his request for a rematch and it has been accepted and it will be Cena against Lesnar at Night of Champions. I guess this is what we’ll get from now on since Cole can’t have his fireside chats with Triple H anymore.

*Nikki Bella vs. Emma

Emma tries rolling up Nikki and they go back and forth for awhile. Nikki hits a nice springboard spinning kick off the second rope for two. Nikki goes to a headlock while the crowd chants YOU SOLD OUT. Nikki hits a face-crusher for two. Nikki goes back to a headlock. Emma locks in the tarantula and then goes for a cross-body, but she whiffs. Nikki hits a big forearm and then the torture rack backbreaker. A really good squash match, where Emma was able to get some offense, but Nikki proved to be better. Not that I actually agree with that but whatever. And of course Cole spent the whole match talking about Nikki turning on Brie. 2 for 2

*Renee interviews Big Show about his match against Erick Rowan. Big Show talks about busting out some luchador moves, but Mark Henry tells him to just win, so they can go eat.

*Slater Gator vs. Los Matadores w/El Torito & La Vacita (which is of course Hornswoggle in a cow outfit)

Cole obviously thinks Hornswoggle in a cow outfit is the funniest thing he’s ever seen. Heath starts with Diego and Diego keeps him off-balance to start. Cole lets us know that Hornswoggle is playing with his udders. My god. Nice hurricanranna by Fernando to Slater. Slater tags into Titus and he runs through Fernando and hits his three backbreakers and barks. Slater comes in with a headlock. Cole continues to make cow puns. Diego tags in with a springboard elbow and hits a small package for two. Slater rolls through another pin attempt and hits his Implant DDT for another win for Slater Gator. Heath goes after El Torito but gets kicked from behind by Hornswoggle. The two midgets then throw Slater into Titus. Well, Slater Gator won, but Cole was unbearable on commentary so I’ll give it a point but advise you to watch it on mute. 3 for 3

*Luke Harper promo talking about giants. Rowan then advises Big Show to run.

*We then see clips of Dean Ambrose taking on Seth Rollins in a falls-count anywhere match which won between a No-DQ match and a No-Holds barred match. That was a tough choice. Anyway they have an awesome match and it ends with Seth Rollins pretty much killing Ambrose with a curb stomp through cement blocks. Continuing with the story from WWE.com Ambrose’s injuries aren’t known because he just left the arena. Renee in joined in the back by Seth Rollins. Rollins says it’s the WWE Universe’s fault. Rollins then talks down John Cena, Jericho and Jack Swagger as losers. Swagger then comes in and they have a back and forth leading to a match on Smackdown.

*Erick Rowan w/Luke Harper vs. Big Show w/Mark Henry

Power match to start with a lot of bouncing off of each other, with it being firmly established, yes Big Show is bigger. Rowan whips Show into the ringpost. Back in the ring Rowan stomps at Big Show, but Big Show hits a clothesline and then some slaps to the chest. Rowan starts working the knee with a chop block and then extending it over his shoulder. Rowan hits a running knee to the spine and Big Show then hits a Russian legsweep. Rowan gets up and hits a big kick to the head. Rowan then grinds his knuckles into Rowan’s head. Rowan goes to the second turnbuckle and comes off with a spinning elbow. Rowan then hits a slam for two. Show gets up and hits his punch for the win. Kind of a weak ending, but close to their tag match from Raw and that’s surprising, considering it was the weaker half of each team. 4 for 4

Final Thoughts: Well I gave it a 4 for 4 and all four match were good, but that comes with the big disclaimer that MICHAEL GOD DAMNED COLE was on my show for some reason. I thought only people who did Raw, Smackdown and PPV’s had to put up with his crap. Anyway good match and I hope next week we get some Harper against Henry.

 

Author: Ryan Everett