Monday Night Raw
October 13, 2014
Pretty cool promo video starts us off featuring clips and sound bites from last Monday night bringing the highlights from the burgeoning rivalry between Dean Ambrose and John Cena. Ambrose struck first using Drew McIntyre’s old finisher on the ketchup stained former champion to close Raw, but Cena would get the last laugh on Miz TV on the 15th Anniversary SmackDown. For such a short build, I kind of dig these two going at it though I’ll probably get more into that later on as to how it may play out. I think all Raws need video packages like this. Get me pumped right from the get go and stop talking me to death!
Now in the arena from Atlanta, site of one of the worst WrestleMania’s ever no thanks to Chad Campbell, and out comes the Lunatic Fringe. Speakers line the corners so you know he’s going to do some talking! The unstable one says he wants nothing in the world more than to be surrounded by steel pummeling Seth Rollins. He’s also pissed that a 15-time champion is standing in the way of his ultimate goal of kicking Rollins’ ass. He states the obvious that the Authority is just trying to protect their golden boy by having his two biggest rivals beat each other until nothing is left. Dean’s plan now is to go to Hell in a Cell, take the contract off the top of a pole, rip down said pole and beat John Cena senseless with it. Lovely! Huge applause awarded to Ambrose since it’s still cool to hate my boy John. He then bounce Rollins around the cell like a basketball and their will be nothing Cena or the Authority will be able to do about it.
One thing Cena can do is interrupt a terrific promo like he does here and the hottest duo in the company now stand face-to-face in the squared circle. Cena tells Ambrose to relax because there are still two weeks to go until the PPV. John provides some veteran advice and tells his opponent to shut up and stop acting crazy. He goes on to say that Ambrose should be preparing for the biggest match of his career and that the leader of the Cenation is going to bring it. Funny thing is, he’s right! Ambrose had tremendous success fighting in six-man and tag matches but as a singles competitor, does it get any bigger than fighting Cena on PPV? He was an invisible US Champion at this time last year and now he is fighting the franchise player. Excellent take made by the former champ.
Good back and forth follows including Ambrose expressing his distrust for Cena while John almost begs Dean to try taking him down again. Cena thinks Dean’s instability will be his downfall and even says that Ambrose is out of his league which is probably so far from the truth that not even Johnny Boy believes what he just said. Ambrose is about to throw down on this hoedown when Triple H’s music hits! The first couple enters the arena and Hunter tells these two to slow down while giving a shameless Network promo. Steph decides to pull the Teddy Long and make a tag match for tonight. They then banter back and forth about whether or not Cena and Ambrose can work as a team or tear each other to pieces until they make a friendly wager about it. So that’s why we now have a triple threat tag match with our heroes going up against the Usos and the Dust Brothers.
JOHN CENA & DEAN AMBROSE VS. THE USOS VS. GOLD & STARDUST
Starting the show with these six guys could be risky because I question what will carry the middle of this show. At least it’s not for the title because I could easily see the cliche flash pin and the two enemies walk away with the gold. The Rhodes deserve a better fate if you ask me. Funny how the Usos were Cena’s boys during the Bray Wyatt feud in the Spring and here they are beating each other in the fall. The heels do a nice job of just sitting on the outside and letting the good guys battle it out. Ambrose and Cena do exchange a few tags and Dean even gives some half-hearted encouragement.
One thing that is legit is the fans’ appreciation for Stardust who gets huge pops for doing just about anything. I think I can hear PTBN fan, Jay Hinchey, from my couch! Cena gets the hot tag and scores with his usual array of offense but things got cooking when Stardust landed on his feet on an AA attempt. The Usos went flying onto the Rhodes on the floor. Cena followed suit and did a suicide dive on the four of them. Not to be outdone, Ambrose dropped a bionic elbow onto the mob of dudes and the place is coming unglued. Ambrose and Cena connected with their respective finishers onto the gold ones and Cena gets the pin for the victory. WINNERS: JOHN CENA & DEAN AMBROSE
Apparently Hunter lost the bet with Steph and gives his wife $1. The COO then says why wait until Hell in a Cell? We’re going to get our contract on a pole, no holds barred match for the right to face Seth Rollins in a Hell in a Cell tonight on Raw!! Wow that’s the longest title of a match ever!
AJ LEE & LAYLA VS. PAIGE & ALICIA FOX
So the question going into this match was who would be silly enough to team with AJ after what happened to poor Emma last week. The short straw was pulled by Layla who AJ apparently “dislikes the least” out of all the divas in the locker room. Paige really should be a dominant heel and not this lovesick school girl looking for attention from the popular girl in class but I suppose there are worst gigs to have at 21. After Layla bailed out on her partner making a tag attempt, AJ executes a shining wizard on Fox for the easy win. For her heinous act, Layla takes a beating on the outside from the Divas champ. WINNERS: AJ & LAYLA
Back from break, Randy Orton tells Hunter and Steph that he will destroy Dolph Ziggler tonight. He then proposes a deal whereby he would in essence get the loser of tonight’s main event in a Hell in a Cell match at the PPV. So it sounds like they are truly tossing the idea of Cena or Ambrose working double duty in two weeks. Here’s my instant reaction: What the hell?!?! Okay, I’ve had a few seconds to think about it and here’s my theory. They have Cena go over here and face Rollins because Cena is still the bigger draw. This leaves Ambrose to start a new feud with the often forgotten Orton who will then put over the Lunatic Fringe on pay-per-view. I’m sure I’ll change my mind in two weeks but that’s what I would do if I were in their shoes.
Incredibly creepy Erik Rowan package about the bearded one getting set free by Bray. It’s coming y’all!
IC CHAMP DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. RANDY ORTON
Cesaro is at ringside, likely to screw with Dolph in order to get a rematch for the IC strap. Still reeling from the Orton proposal. It just seems so random. I failed to mention that he dumped on Rollins while he presented his idea to Hunter so maybe this is a slow face turn beginning to simmer. Anyway, these two had a terrific match in 2012 at Night of Champions in Boston. You could watch it after this recap by going on the Network for just $9.99. See that Hunter? I can do it too! Randy does a little too much posing and spends much of this match getting beaten to a pulp. It appears as though he is about to walk out on the contest when Rollins emerges onto the stage. This does not sit well with the Viper who takes out all his frustrations on the Ziggler. After a back body drop onto the announce table, Ziggy then wore a super plex off the top turnbuckle that broke him in half. Dolph eventually countered an RKO attempt into a superkick and nearly picked up the fall. Fans were digging this making it the first time in two years the crowd got behind an Orton match. In the spot of the night, Ziggler attempted a Famouser only to get caught in midair and dropped for an RKO for the 1,2,3. Outstanding match! That right there will be tough to follow! WINNER: RANDY ORTON
After the match, Rollins gets in the ring and proceeds to curb stomp Dolph to hell. He raises his briefcase to absorb more heat from Orton as Cesaro sits in amusement.
SETH ROLLINS VS. JACK SWAGGER (W/ ZEB COLTER)
Whoa tons of matches tonight! This one, however, is as predictable as Brady and the Pats beating the Bills on Sunday! Rollins works the arm, someone makes a joke about Zeb being Norman Schwartzkopf, someone points out that Norman Schwarzkopf was bald and then I confirmed on Google that Norman Schwarzkopf was indeed dead. Nice guys! Randy Orton showers up and goes to ringside to watch the golden boy in action. To borrow a Criscuolo tactic of describing his wardrobe, he is even wearing a new baby blue RKO t-shirt. After a pair of ankle lock tries, Rollins rolled up Swagger with a fist full of trunks for the cheap triumph. WINNER: SETH ROLLINS
Following the bout, Orton returns the favor and RKO’s Swagger into oblivion. The two Authority members stand eye to eye and jaw jack for a few seconds before Rollins grabs his briefcase and peaces out.
Renee Young talks to Dean Ambrose and asks about tonight’s main event and what to expect. Dean won’t be nice and put John Cena in his place two weeks early. He says that Cena and Ambrose are now on the highway to hell!
Tom Phillips then chats with the Big Show about his match with Rusev this evening. Show says he will shatter the Russian’s glass jaw tonight. He says if anyone is going to carry millions of Americans hopes and dreams, it will be his massive shoulders. He closed by saying that he’ll teach the former Bulgarian brute what he learned in sensitivity training. He probably learned to do the job and not drop flags on the ground but I’m getting ahead of myself.
THE BIG SHOW VS. RUSEV (W/ LANA)
Lana speaks and takes issues with Christopher Columbus, Native Americans and the Atlanta Braves. Who needs sensitivity training now! We then get some tomahawk chops and USA chants but sadly, I’m getting extremely bored with this segment. Rusev then eloquently proclaims that “if [Big Show] had a spine, I will rip it out with my hand and rip it off.” Huh? Regardless, the crowd is on fire for this one. Rusev looks like a cruiserweight next to Show. The giant throws him around from pillar to post and I can’t remember anyone dominating Rusev like this! Show even does a tomahawk chop of his own before pancaking Rusev’s chest with a slap. This looked like a squash until Rusev scored with a dropkick to Show’s mush! The pace slowed to a crawl during Rusev’s heat segment as both guys seemed gassed. Show went to the second rope and missed with the elbow. More restholds followed as I made a much needed bathroom break. Show missed the knockout punch and found himself in the Accolade submission hold. Mark Henry hit the ring only to eat a sucker punch by Rusev. Henry came in and blindsided the Russian thus costing his buddy the match. WINNER: RUSEV BY DQ
Show and Henry stand in the ring as the Russian flag exploded over their heads. The new Colossal Connection corner Rusev outside the ring and Big Show decks him with a knockout punch to give the fans a smile. I was almost expecting another Show/Henry heel turn but I’ll take this ending instead!
Speaking of forgotten talents, Sheamus talks to Renee about curing the rash that is Miz and Mizdow with two brogue kicks. Ugh! And speaking of ugh, Chrisley is in the house! #ClassNotAss I don’t know if it’s the 75,000 ads for the show that run whenever I do these recaps or maybe my brain is becoming the consistency of instant mashed potatoes, but I might give season two a try. It can’t be any worse than Total Divas right?
US CHAMPION SHEAMUS VS. THE MIZ (W/ DAMIEN MIZDOW)
Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn! This show is so long and I just saw this match last week. Meanwhile, my dog (@KingBasil1110) and I had a struggle of our own over a discarded chicken bone in my trash. For his sake, I’m glad I won because that could have ended very badly. Mizdow mimmicks Miz’s every move, Sheamus brogue kicks the wrong guy, Miz crawls under the ring and beats the ref’s 10-count, Sheamus gets counted out. WINNER: THE MIZ
Speaking of pushing the fast-forward button, someone named Nene is an honorary Total Diva for the night. I don’t even have the strength to make fun of this properly. I think I would rather clean the bathrooms at Boneheads after a PTBN WrestleMania party with only a toothbrush and my tongue than be an honorary Total Diva for the night! She gets into it with Cameron, it was nails on a chalkboard awful and we’re moving on!
CAMERON, SUMMER RAE & NIKKI BELLA VS. NATALYA, NAOMI & BRIE BELLA (W/ ROSA MENDES & NENE LEAKES)
I’ve never heard a quieter crowd. Last week, Brooklyn hated Kathie Lee. This week, Atlanta just doesn’t give a rat’s ass. Brie beats Nikki, no one really cares. More Chrisley please! WINNERS: Ahh… forget it!
Renee now has Cena backstage and the former champ is fired up. He builds up the match they have been hyping for the last three hours. He says he will rip Ambrose to bits if it means getting that contract.
In another horrifying vignette, Bray Wyatt tells us that “she” told him that he is not alone and a bunch of awful things that are about to happen including damnation. Bray then says himself, “it’s coming.” Who Bray? Who? Some say it’s The Ascension. Others point to some of the recent indy signings. All I know is that if it rebuilds his awesome character back to main event status, I am 1,000 percent behind it. And bring back Rowan and Harper too because they were badass!
DEAN AMBROSE VS. JOHN CENA (NO HOLDS BARRED, CONTRACT ON A POLE MATCH)
This might have been a terrific pay-per-view match, but I guess we’ll never know. Every member of the Authority joins us at ringside just to add more intrigue to our finale. Both men immediately went for the pole as the bell rang. Ambrose had the upperhand early until Cena delivered a series of suplexes that brought back memories of a world champion we never see. Anyway, Ambrose dumped Cena to the floor and the pair fought out onto the stage. Dean reached the ring first, but Cena was able to slide underneath and hit an electric chair. Cena then locked in an STF that was promptly countered by Ambrose biting his hands since there are no DQ’s in this one! On the outside, Ambrose struck Orton adding fuel to my earlier theory. Cena then threw Ambrose into the entire Authority in a nice spot. All men got involved and while Cena fought off Kane on one side of the ring, Ambrose jumped up and snagged away the Hell in a Cell contract. WINNER: DEAN AMBROSE
Much shorter match than if this were on the PPV and quite disappointing that they rushed this here. Now I don’t know what to make of this. So many questions remain. Do we really need another Orton/Cena match on PPV? Is Ambrose/Rollins really worthy of a PPV main event yet? Why the hell is Orton suddenly elevated again when he has been a stooge for the last two months? Wouldn’t it have made sense for someone to put over Ambrose on a special event? Can Kane just go into politics already and get off my screen?
I’m disappointed they didn’t follow my advice and this sudden change in the booking doesn’t fill me with a ton of confidence entering Hell in a Cell. That won’t take away from what was a pretty fun show that featured a ton of meaningful matches (minus that Divas garbage) and a dynamite first hour. The Wyatt stuff is heating up, Orton has a new shirt and possibly a new direction, Ambrose and Rollins are at the top of the card like everyone wanted and Rusev doesn’t know his head from his Putin as you read this.
All in all, a pretty good show. Haters are going to hate but I can honestly say I’d watch this before I ever watch WrestleMania XXVII again!
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