Friday Night Smackdown
July 5, 2013
We get the show open for the second week, then and Michael Cole welcomes us to Topeka! We waste no time right off the bat as our special guest arrives. BEST IN THE WORLD. CM Punk makes a rare Friday night appearance. We go back to Monday night when Curtis Axel stole Punk’s pin. Punk says “If I was John Cena, I would give a very heartfelt speech about July 4th and all the things he believes in.” Fortunately he’s not Cena. To him, it was about like-minded people not conforming. Punk says “Independence is very important to me, if I’m given rules, I will break them.” Punk says “ I was going to line up all the MITB All-Stars and tell them off. I’m going to give my two goals, which are to get my hands on Brock Lesnar and to win the MITB and be WWE Champion again.” Punk is interrupted by World Champion Alberto Del Rio. Punk expected a car instead of a cheap suit. Del Rio says “Punk this is my show.” Punk says “We air on Mundos. This isn’t even your show there.” Del Rio says we as Americans are fat and lazy. So pretty much the entire last five months of him defending America is completely forgotten. What a waste. “All these people are nothing but sheep.” Yeah Punk actually called him out on it. Punk says “You tried to be a phony American, and they’re seeing right through you.” Del Rio orders Punk out of his ring. Punk says make me. They keep jawing when out comes Teddy Long. Ah it’s the old Smackdown mold, where two guys cut promos, Teddy comes out (or Booker) and makes a match with them. So tonight it’s Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk in a match from a few weeks ago on Raw.
Back from break and Punk’s talking to Paul Heyman. Paul says “I know you’ve kept me out of business, but this match isn’t to your advantage.” Punk says I’m fighting anyway. Paul reminds him “At MITB, you will have a bulls-eye on your back, so you might need me around again.” Punk politely declines.
MATCH: The Usos vs. Team Rhodes Scholars
SILENCE! Haha Sandow called the Universe “Slack-jawed mouth breathers.” He and Rhodes continue being nice to each other, but we’ll see that change. The problem with that MITB match is that most of these guys have been jobbed to death (except Ambrose) that there’s no juice for it. The Usos will face Rollins/Reigns for the tag straps at the MITB Pre-show. A quick match that sees The Usos hit their double top rope finisher on Sandow for the win. Rhodes took his time getting into the ring and didn’t break it up.
After the match the Shield is on the screen. Rollins says “You Usos and the old man Christian got lucky last week, but that doesn’t bother us.” Ambrose says “We will own everything, and at MITB I will win the briefcase, keep my US Title and own…the WORLD.” He is awesome. He won’t win MITB, but he’ll make the match.
Monday night on Raw, Vickie’s job evaluation with plenty of McMahon verbal vomiting. I may join them in the vomiting. Well except Triple H.
MATCH: Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn
I wonder if Layla’s going to turn on her. I always think that when someone accompanies a babyface to the ring. I am pleased that we actually have a legit Divas feud. That’s the one thing that TNA has on WWE. Feuds involving their females that have actually been compelling. The company has faith in Kaitlyn because they give her at least 3-4 more minutes than others. Out comes AJ who skips around the ring. Kaitlyn is distracted momentarily but she continues on. AJ gets on the apron and Kaitlyn drills her, but it gives Alicia Fox a chance to roll Kaitlyn up for the victory. Kaitlyn chases AJ up the ramp.
Back from break and AJ keeps running when she runs into the Bellas. They talk about the Divas Belt. I fast forward until she runs into Big E. She wants to leave but Big E says Dolph has a match later. She says “Ziggy will be fine.” AJ makes them leave. Ah there’s the hook to break babyface Dolph away.
Renee is with Christian and Randy Orton, who face each other tonight. Christian says “I’ve already beaten Randy for the World Title, and I’ll do it again.” Orton counters “You’re about to find out Christian, why I’m the man everyone should worry about.”
We get the awesome final Wyatt Family vignette with the empty rocking chair.
MATCH: Randy Orton vs. Christian
These two always have great matches dating back to their World Title feud in 2011. Cole goes over the MITB rules, which doesn’t hurt every once in a while to the new fans. As usual with these two there’s no prolonged heat segments as both guys go back and forth until Christian takes control for a few moments, and then they start throwing haymakers. JBL points out that Dolph Ziggler’s 267 days holding the MITB briefcase is second all time. Number one! Edge, 290 days. Orton tried to do some fancy roll up off the corner and almost botched it. So he makes up for it with his snap powerslam. Christian takes control and uses the aforementioned Edge’s spear but only gets a two count. Orton goes for an RKO but it’s reversed, and after back to back reversals, Orton finally hits the Randall K and gets the three count. As usual, a very entertaining match from two veteran guys.
Backstage Teddy is on the phone with a “sir”, probably Vince. Paul Heyman comes in and Teddy says he wants him to join Cole and JBL on commentary for the Del Rio/Punk match later. Teddy says he knows Punk does the opposite of what he’s told, and Teddy says “So do I.” Paul winks and leaves.
MATCH: Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre
The #1 contender might need to change his @HEELZiggler Twitter name. Dolph says “The past few months have been a blur. But he remembers that night at IZOD when he became Champion. The rest is a bit fuzzy.” Six weeks out with a concussion. He does admit “Alberto Del Rio couldn’t be likeable to any of you.” “Yes I’m cocky and yes I have a chip on my shoulder, but at least you all know that and I don’t pretend. SHOW…OFF.” Monday Dolph beat Jinder Mahal and then ducked a 2-on-1 assault. McIntyre gets more offense in than most of these 3MB guys get, but then again he’s the best wrestler of the bunch. Dolph hits the Zig Zag and gets the win.
Mahal and Slater try to double team but “Ziggy” slinks away again. He gets back in the ring and then ducks out again. 3MB are such dopes, but every promotion needs some.
We get the Mark Henry history piece. Man, I really want him to win at MITB, but he won’t.
MATCH: Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel
Fuck it, let Fandango win MITB. Haha that will get all the Daniel Bryan fans going bonkers. Fandango is outside and Gabriel goes for a plancha but the dancing fool boots him in the face. Fandango hits the top rope leg drop for the victory. This guy’s eventually going to turn face, you know it. The crowd dancing is back.
We get a new You Tube video with Zeb Colter, Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger. He rips people for caring more about four day weekends than the founding fathers’ sacrifices. I bet they make a new t-shirt that says “50 stars..13 bars.”
Back from break and indeed Paul Heyman is at the table for our main event.
MATCH: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio
IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME! That will be a t-shirt soon too. Del Rio needs to stop pandering with the hand movements and all that jazz. He also needs to go back to coming out with a car. Nice to have a Punk match on Smackdown, mixes things up a bit. Cole really starts stirring it up with Heyman, saying Paul only cares about Axel and Lesnar because they bring him money and Punk means nothing. Del Rio takes control and starts booting Punk in the head. Del Rio is having a great week, having a four-star match with Cena Monday and now tonight. Both men are outside, and Del Rio wants to use the announce table. Heyman gets up and pleads with Del Rio to not do that. Del Rio decks Heyman, and Punk is irate. He starts throwing punches and both men get counted out.
Punk gives Del Rio the GTS, then helps Paul to his feet as we go off the air.
SCOTT’S TAKE: Good character development this week from Punk (as if he needs any more) and definitely Dolph Ziggler. He’s a babyface now and its full on. Good show.
Scott’s Smackdown Top 5:
1) Alberto Del Rio
2) Dolph Ziggler
3) Dean Ambrose
4) Randy Orton
5) Team Rhodes Scholars (TIE)