Monday Night Raw
August 19, 2013
We go back to last night and highlights from one of the greatest PPV’s in a long time. We start with a video montage of the absolute war between CM Punk and Brock Lesnar, followed by our WWE Championship match, also a classic, and then what happened afterwards. We then head live to the Pond in Anaheim, and out comes the former WWE Champion. Well the first former WWE Champion, John Cena. Complete with mangled left elbow. He jumps right in and is disgusted by what happened last night at Summerslam. The CENA SUCKS chants are very loud and very un-Anaheim. Cena says “Last night Daniel Bryan earned his win last night at Summerslam.” The YES YES chants are rampant. Cena thanks Bryan for bringing out the best in him. Cena’s got a shiner and some scratches. Did everybody get into bar fights last night? He says “Daniel Bryan and I may differ on things, but we both wanted to shine last night.” We get a close up of his badly swollen elbow, and Cena says doctors told him to have surgery and cancel last night’s match. He refused. Then Cena says “I was told by some yokel that Triple H handed the WWE Title to Randy Orton!!” He’s disgusted, but due to his injuries he’s taking the next 4-6 months off. The crowd loves it. Cena says “Before I go, I would like to thank the guy who deserves to be champion.” Out comes Daniel Bryan to a ridiculous ovation. He and Cena shake hands, Cena gives him the mike and leaves the ring. The DANIEL BRYAN chants are very loud and Bryan is touched. Before he gets a chance to say something, out comes Stephanie McMahon to a chorus of boos. She says “Daniel, I’m sorry.” She says he won the WWE Championship, and he didn’t deserve to lose like that.” However, Triple H is COO and “he was doing what was right for business.” Daniel says “Well the crowd disagrees on what’s best for business.” Bryan says “I expect this from you and Vince, but Triple H was once a renegade and now he’s corporate trash.” She’ll let that slide, but Bryan says “I don’t care if I get fired. I’ll sell t-shirts from my car and be fine with it.” Stephanie says “You’re valued here but you’re not WWE Championship material.” She says “You have a place here, you’re not an A, but a solid B+.” So the family is all turning heel at once. Bryan says “You’re reminding me of a letter that starts with a B right now!” The crowd starts chanting that word. He snaps and says “I can be WWE Champion and no one can stop me.” He rips her mike out of his hand, and she gets pissed. She gets another mike and calls security to throw him out of the building. He leaves the ring but halfway up the ramp he turns around and starts the NO NO NO chant. Great segment and Daniel Bryan is a superstar, belt or no belt.
Back from break and we have a rematch from last night for our first match.
MATCH: Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes
Rhodes won last night, so Sandow wanted this rematch. The question here is whether Sandow is a legit World Champion, or just some chump who will lose to a future babyface champion? Well he’s won nothing since Money in the Bank. In case you didn’t get Summerslam, Cody Rhodes shaved his mustache and there’s a You Tube story behind it. No matter, as a good guy the ‘stache needed to go. Turns out Dennis Haskins is sitting behind the announce table. Good, stay out of the VINTAGE VAULT!!! Cody wins again with a sunset flip out of the corner. WINNER: Cody Rhodes
Backstage is GM Brad Maddox in a misshapen suit. He says after the events of last night Dolph Ziggler tweeted his distrust for Triple H. Well to let the “Show-Off” show off, he will be in a 3-on-1 handicap match with The Shield. Hehehehe, I’m enjoying this more and more.
Back to the darkened arena, and when it lights up Paul Heyman is in the ring with a sling on his left arm. He confirms what we know, that CM Punk lost last night. Heyman says “Like all rebellious children, he flew away from the nest to prove himself. He admittedly gave Brock Lesnar all he could handle.” Where do we go from here. Paul says it’s time to end this family feud. Paul says “It’s time for forgiveness, and CM Punk I forgive you.” He says when Punk apologizes he will take him back, because together they will be the best in the world. He drops the mike and leaves the ring.
The Bellas are on the screen, so I hit the FF button.
MATCH: The Funkadactyls vs. Layla & AJ Lee
The match is silly crap as usual. Naomi with a roll up. WINNERS: Funkadactyls
HANDICAP MATCH: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Shield
So Triple H is behind this match. Hehe. Sorry I’ll be chuckling often tonight. Dolph gets some shots in early on Rollins and Reigns but the numbers game takes over and the Hounds of Justice systematically work him over. Dolph tries to comeback with a sleeper. Ziggler goes on a run and takes out Rollins and Ambrose and is about to pin Reigns but Ambrose interfered. Ziggler keeps fighting but Reigns drills him in mid-air with a spear and gets the pin. WINNERS: The Shield
After the match the hit the triple power bomb on Ziggler.
MATCH: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara
Remember when this was supposed to be a big time money feud? Possibly a Wrestlemania feud? Yeah that’s not happening. Del Rio still looks pretty battered from that bar fight, but he still put on a stellar match last night in beating Christian. Suddenly the match just stopped as Sin Cara appears hurt. WINNER: Alberto Del Rio
I’m still confused as the doctor came out and is looking at Sin Cara’s wrist? I’m confused, but the match is over and that definitely wasn’t planned. Del Rio grabs the mike and does an impromptu promo about last night’s win and how he’s the greatest World Champion in history. He’s putting over the Latino community, which is getting cheers. But, he’s a bad…guy? I’m not sure what he’s trying to go for. Out comes Del Rio’s former announcer Ricardo Rodriguez, who says “You Del Rio are not a hero to the Latin Community.” He says he’s representing somebody new, someone who will stand for people. That guy is Rob Van Dam! Out comes RVD. That’s kind of odd. So maybe the Sin Cara injury was a work to fit this promo in RVD gets in the ring and they brawl, which ends with Del Rio ducking out of the ring as a Froggie was about to come down. So Van Dam has his #1 contender slot, I assume.
MATCH: Real Americans vs. Primetime Players
So now that Darren Young has come out, are they babyfaces now? I guess so. I fast forward Zeb Colter’s crappy promos now. The lower they fall down the card, the less creative they’ve become. It’s a pretty solid TV match with Cesaro/Swagger dominating the action with creative power moves. Darren Young pins Cesaro with a Gut Check. When did DY last pin anybody? WINNERS: Primetime Players
Renee is backstage with the Big Show. He talks about teaming with Mark Henry for the Tag Titles when Brad Maddox interrupts and shoos her away. He talks about Big Show bad mouthing Triple H and he also will face The Shield in a handicap match.
Back from break and Justin Gabriel and Zack Ryder are pimping some Foot Locker contest when Fandango interrupts with Summer Rae. Funny skit as he takes the sneakers offered to him.
We play the same video recap of Summerslam as the beginning of the show.
Ryback bullies some schmuck in the locker room and turns the shower on him.
HANDICAP MATCH: Big Show vs. The Shield
Big Show mangles the Hounds of Justice early on. Show looks much trimmer than when before he took the time off. Shield hasn’t done much in this match at all. Unlike the Ziggler match when they had to tag in, all three can be in this match together. Not that it matters so far. Rollins clips Show’s leg to gain an advantage and the Shield finally take over. Show with a double suplex but Reigns gets back into the ring and the numbers game is too much. We get a triple power bomb for the win. Does Triple H have some muscle behind him now? WINNERS: The Shield
Back from break and it’s CLOBBERIN TIME! Out comes the very worse for ware CM Punk. He walks out very gingerly after the fucking war he waged with Brock Lesnar last night. Punk says “I don’t really know what to say, there’s so much going on upstairs.” He wants to fight the fat dude in the front row of the arena, and that was awesome. Kick his ass! He rehashes what Heyman said earlier tonight about Punk getting what he wants with an apology. So he calls Paul out. Paul comes out with IC Champion Curtis Axel. Punk goes off on Heyman and talks about taking his arm off and beating his fat face with it. He wants a fight with Heyman tonight. Heyman tells Axel to go back and tape his fists for a fight. He tells Punk “Curtis Axel will finish the job Brock started last night.” When we return from break Punk is sitting in the ring with a chair waiting. Axel returns with Heyman a pair of taped fists. This isn’t an official match as no referee is here. Punk attacks and beats Axel down with a steel chair. Axel fights back with punches outside. The brawl continues outside and Punk is smashing Axel with whatever is around the ring, including the ring bell. Punk chucks Axel in the ring and tries to hit the GTS but Axel squirms out and hits Punk in the bad leg from Sunday night. Axel works the leg over in the ring. Axel tries to Pillmanize Punk’s leg with a chair but Punk moves and Punk on one leg starts attacking with the chair. He lifts Axel up and drops him on the steps outside. Punk glares at Heyman, and the Walrus squirms up the ramp.
MATCH: R-Truth vs. Bray Wyatt
The creepy entrance isn’t getting old, and the music doesn’t hurt either. It’s a squash. WINNER: Bray Wyatt
We get a story about the history of matadors? Oh wait its Epico and Primo. Los Matadores. I thought Tito Santana was coming back.
MATCH: 3MB vs. The Usos
It will be Slater & Mahal with Drew on the sidelines. He wrestled last night on the pre-show, teaming with Alberto Del Rio against two drunk buffoons. The match goes back and forth with 3MB having a prolonged heat segment. Heath Slater looks like he’s added some tattoos to his arms. Mahal ends up alone, and after eating a thrust kick, Jey flies to the ring to take out the other two, and Jimmy hits a top rope splash for the win. WINNERS: The Usos
MATCH: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett
We are re-igniting an old IC Title feud from the spring. Barrett has dominated most of the match but I’m tired of watching these two guys wrestle. Barrett loses the IC Title and still stuck in the mud. Miz takes control and works Barrett’s legs over. Can’t get the Figure Four locked as Barrett keeps escaping. After a failed Sunset Flip he finally locks it but before Barrett taps out Fandango comes out of nowhere and drops a leg from the top rope to end the match. Good. WINNER: The Miz by disqualification
Brad Maddox just told Stephanie that Daniel Bryan is back in the building. Steph says “Good.”
Stephanie and Vince are already in the ring. When we return from break the entire roster is on the top of the ramp. Out comes THE MAN, Triple H to a chorus of boos. Eh bite me Anaheim. The Shield is in front of the ring as…security? Haha, this is tremendous. Vince says tonight we have a coronation of a champion we can be proud of. Vince says Triple H saw the light. Triple H says “All of you, the WWE Universe is short-sighted. I didn’t destroy the future, I made sure there was a future. I did it for Vince McMahon and his grandfather and father.” He did it for the family and for the WWE Universe because it will exist. Triple H says “I like Daniel Bryan, and he’s a very good little technician and he gave John Cena a hell of a fight. But the face of the WWE? No.” He says the WWE Universe deserves better than that. He says “You all deserve A+, not B. Daniel Bryan is a B.” Triple H tries to spin this on himself, saying he didn’t want to do it, to throw Daniel Bryan’s 15 years away. He even says “There’s a lot of bad blood between me and the WWE Champion, but I buried all that hate for the good of the company.” He calls Daniel Bryan selfish and that this isn’t all about him. It’s about the face of the WWE. Triple H introduces him now, WWE Champion Randy Orton. He tells the WWE Universe simply “I told you so.” Orton says “ No one would see it coming. Now before you, the 10-time WWE Champion.” Orton says he’s not used to thank yous, but he thanks Triple H for what he’s done and that he owes all of this to him. He says everyone should get up and show Triple H the respect he deserves. Triple H takes the mike back and says he knows Daniel Bryan is in the building, and he offers Bryan to come in the ring and air your issues. He even backs the Shield off. Triple H even creates a YES chant and starts his music. Bryan comes out through the crowd near the ramp, but as he comes to the ring the Shield jump him and beat him down. Bryan tries to fight out of it but the numbers game again wins out as Reigns drills Bryan with a spear. Triple H then gets that awesome heel condescending attitude and Daniel crawls into the ring but immediately eats an RKO. The new Corporation has their hands held high as we go off the air.
SCOTT’S TAKE: Two awesome things are happening for me as a fan. First, Triple H is a heel and is running everything, including the Shield. Second, Daniel Bryan is ready to be painted as the modern day Steve Austin. So for those who whined about what happened at Summerslam, get over it and prepare for a great journey to end at the Superdome in April.