Monday Night Raw
July 29, 2013
Laredo, Texas
We get a recap of last week when Daniel Bryan battled through three opponents before John Cena helped him. We head to the arena with Mr. Fred Willard, oh sorry Mr. McMahon with his puppet, GM Brad Maddox. Vince says it will be a fun night tonight. Maddox then apologized for allowing John Cena to choose his own opponent. Vince then talks to Maddox about Daniel Bryan and how both feel about him. Before that conversation starts out comes the #1 contender. Bryan shakes Vince’s hand while the DANIEL BRYAN chants are loud. Vince yells at the audience to calm down. Bryan says all of Maddox’s words last week were dictated by Vince even though Maddox was saying the words. Both men talk about respect and how it’s a two-way street. Vince asks Bryan if he respects John Cena. Bryan indeed says yes. Vince says Cena was lying about the complements he gave Bryan two weeks ago. Vince said Cena picked Bryan because he was an easy win. Vince says to Bryan that he can’t beat John Cena and he won’t beat Kane tonight. Vince says “Daniel Bryan, you don’t have ruthless aggression.” Good lord Vince, you’re taking 2002 catch phrases? Vince says “John Cena thinks he owns the place, but I do.” He doesn’t want a half-baked troll to win either. Vince says “I hope both men lock up at SummerSlam and they both spontaneously combust.” Jesus Vince has really lost it. Bryan says “If Cena is lying, he’ll have hell to pay.” Bryan tells Vince “You are at least honest, but no one cares what you think. It matters what THEY (the WWE Universe) thinks.” The YES YES YES chants get loud. Bryan says “The WWE Universe sounds like they want a new WWE Champion at Summerslam, and his name is Daniel Bryan.” The YES YES YES chants overwhelm the arena. I have a theory about what’s going to happen at SummerSlam. I’ll save it for a couple of weeks.
The Shield come down the steps through the crowd, as after the break its time for our first match.
MATCH: The Shield vs. Mark Henry & The Usos
I thought this was going to be the match at SummerSlam? I wonder if they’ll break them up into two title matches at SummerSlam. The Usos have really meshed so much as a team since going on this run and they have pretty good chemistry with Rollins and Reigns. Henry gets a hot tag late in the bout and takes things over. We come back from break and The Shield regained control. Ugh I know the show went well but we’re gonna hear about this stupid “Total Divas” show all night long. We get a second hot tag to Mark Henry and he cleans house until he’s speared by Reigns. Jey Uso goes for a splash off the top but US Champion Ambrose raises the knees, then hits his bulldog finisher for the win. WINNERS: The Shield
After the match Mark Henry cleans house and the Shield bails. I wonder what the future is for this feud since this match happened tonight.
Ryback goes to the catering table and bullies some poor schmuck, then puts him through the catering table.
We get a video package on the Wyatt Family.
Backstage Kane is with Brad Maddox, and Kane wants the Wyatt Family. Maddox then stirs the shit by saying “Show the Wyatts you are a monster by taking out Daniel Bryan.” Interesting.
MATCH: Rob Van Dam vs. Fandango
I’m stunned that RVD isn’t facing Del Rio at SummerSlam. This however, should be a pretty good match. RVD had it early but Fandango with a boot to the head over the top rope takes control. Both guys then go back and forth with high flying moves, but after Rolling Thunder and some kicks, RVD was going for the Froggie but Fandango ducks out and goes up the ramp to get counted out. The usual motive for Fandango when he is about to lose. WINNER: Rob Van Dam by countout
Fandango shushes the crowd and says his name.
Backstage AJ Lee is babbling and giggling with Big E Langston. She says he likes her…in the ring. And he just stands there as she skips away.
MATCH: Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee
So they’ve just decided to toss this match into the free shows. Which means Kaitlyn is pretty much down to nothing from the main events…well in the Divas world. The match isn’t bad as both of these girls wrestle like guys which means they don’t mind really working it. They go back and forth until Kaitlyn hits a spear out of nowhere for the victory. She needed it. WINNER: Kaitlyn
Kaitlyn throws a temper tantrum after the match. With that out comes ex-boyfriend Dolph Ziggler. He congratulates her on her loss. Dolph doesn’t care, he wants Big E right now. Big E obliges.
MATCH: Dolph Ziggler vs. Big E. Langston
Another match we thought would be at SummerSlam. Big E is dominating Dolph early on, then ratchets a bear hug. Big E looks to be in control when AJ runs into the ring and jumps on Dolph, forcing the DQ. Big E is pissed and then eats a Zig Zag to boot. WINNER: Dolph Ziggler by disqualification
Backstage John Cena is on the phone when Daniel Bryan comes in. He wants to know if what Vince McMahon says is true. Cena says “Vince McMahon is the ultimate showman and never tells the truth.” Bryan says “Good or bad, Vince has always been honest with me.” Cena asks Bryan if he thinks he’s a liar. Bryan doesn’t answer and Cena walks away.
MATCH: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio
I guess since this match was taped last week it was announced on the subsequently taped Smackdown (to air Friday) that these two will meet at SummerSlam for the World Title. Del Rio dominates the match, throwing Christian into the stairs and the barricade. I realized that I’m ruining spoilers for Friday but most people probably know anyway. Del Rio kept up the pressure after the commercial break. The champion is working over Christian’s arm, since the shoulder was among the injuries that kept him out. Christian’s trying to fight back with punches and a DDT. Christian with a missile drop kick for two. The match really picks up with both guys hitting moves to get the win. Del Rio hits the kick to the head he’s used a lot lately but can’t get the win. Christian tries for the Killswitch but his shoulder is injured. Del Rio goes for the Cross Armbreaker but Christian reverses into a roll up for the win. That’s where we get Friday’s decision. WINNER: Christian
MATCH: Wade Barrett vs. Cody Rhodes
Talk about a guy that finally has reached his spot as a top babyface. We go back to Friday and the saga of Damien Sandow’s briefcase being thrown into the dirty Gulf of Mexico. The match is good, as both guys work stiff. Cody reverses out of a power slam into Cross Rhodes for the victory. Not much more to say. WINNER: Cody Rhodes
The music then plays of his former best friend Damien Sandow, who’s pissed that Cody threw the briefcase into the Gulf. Sandow calls Cody’s family “clowns”. Big Dust wouldn’t be happy with that, unless he wears the polka dots.
MATCH: Daniel Bryan vs. Kane
We thought this was going to be the match at WrestleMania. They stayed together till after Extreme Rules. Now they face each other. Their chemistry is perfect due to all the tag matches they worked together. The match went back and forth with both men hitting big moves and Bryan with his big kicks. Kane took over late and went for a chokeslam but Bryan hooked Kane’s leg and rolled him up for a three-count. Great match and the best for Kane in a while. WINNER: Daniel Bryan
Kane, pissed off, chokeslams Bryan. He’s about to hit his four corners pyro when the lights go out and the Wyatt Family comes out. They beat Kane down again and Bray Wyatt hits his finisher after kissing Kane’s mask. He says that Kane is no demon.
MATCH: Natalya vs. Brie Bella
Next. WINNER: Brie Bella
Paul Heyman pumps up his guy, IC Champion Curtis Axel for his match.
MATCH: R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel
Paul puts himself over as they walk down the aisle. He talks about Brock Lesnar and how he’ll take out CM Punk at SummerSlam. Axel grabs the mike and talks about his dad winning the IC Title in 1990 in Texas. He says he’s more perfect…than perfect. The match goes a few minutes when CM Punk comes down the ramp. He grabs Axel and throws him into the barricade. WINNER: No Contest
He chases after Heyman but Axel keeps cutting him off. Heyman escapes.
Backstage Triple H (Happy Birthday!) is giving Vince shit about breaking Daniel Bryan’s stones. Vince says he wants someone like Triple H to beat John Cena, only 23 years younger. Asshole! Stephanie walks in and says Bryan needs a “corporate makeover.” Vince laughs and walks away. Triple H says it’s worth a shot.
TABLES MATCH: John Cena vs. Ryback
The crowd totally no-sold Ryback, as in no response. Sorry, he’s toast. Ryback is dictating pace early when they go to what seems like an unexpected commercial break as in Cole didn’t cue it. Weird, especially since the show is taped. Cena’s getting beat down and Ryback puts the steps into the ring. Cena makes a comeback and puts Ryback in the STF but he let’s go. They continue the brawl outside and use not only tables as weapons, but the steel steps too. They start staring at each other and then each grab a piece of steel steps. They throw the steps at each other. They get in the ring and start brawling. Cena suplexes Ryback on the steel steps. Down with the devastating Five-Knuckle Shuffle. Ryback recovers and hits a back-jarring move. They battle back and forth but Cena gets Ryback up and AA’s him into a table for the victory. More physical match than I expected. WINNER: John Cena
Out comes Daniel Bryan as Cena attempts to recover into the ring. He grabs the WWE Title and hands it over to Cena. He was going to give the champ his belt but snatches it back. The YES YES YES chants pick up but Cena grabs his belt when he wasn’t looking.
SCOTT’S TAKE: Not bad for a taped Raw. Matches were decent, but the McMahons are going to ruin this Cena/Bryan storyline. Stay out of it.
