Scott’s Impact Recap 9/26/13

#TeamStephanieKnockoff? (Courtesy TNA Wrestling)
#TeamStephanieKnockoff? (Courtesy TNA Wrestling)

Impact Wrestling
September 26, 2013
Little Rock, Arkansas

We get a recap from last week’s show, including the MEM’s loss to EGO, the crumbling Aces & Eights and AJ’s slap in the face from Dixie Carter. Speaking of Dixie, she arrives at the arena and Sting wants to know what’s going on. Dixie says she’s got this. You can tell she’s trying to act like Stephanie McMahon. Why? Of course we start the show with the World Champion Bully Ray and Brooke T. I realized why Impact struggles some weeks. TNA leaves really good guys off the show so Bully Ray can be on like seven times. He’s eating this shit up that he’s the #1 singles guy in some promotion. Bully Ray says he’s at a loss for words. He says Dixie shocked the hell out of him. Bully Ray says he doesn’t have to hit any finishers to retain the title at Bound for Glory. Dixie did the work for him. Bully Ray says Dixie made AJ Styles what he is today. He does the ‘Who I am?” question, but then the rest of the club comes out: Knux, Brisco and Bischoff. Knux isn’t surprised that Bully Ray came out alone. Knux says once again, the “ho” comes before the “bros”. Bully Ray warns Knux not to call Brooke a ho. The Ho chants go out. Bully Ray is fed up with this crap, and he says fall in line. Knux says they don’t need Bully’s help in the six man tag tonight. Bully drops the hammer: If Aces & Eights loses the six-man tag tonight against the Main Event Mafia, one member of the club is out. Well that’s interesting. This club is done on October 20.

Eric Young stops Joseph Park from shaving so he doesn’t cut himself and go crazy.

MATCH: Bro-Mans & Gail Kim vs.Eric Young, ODB and Joseph Park
The match is pretty much built around waiting for Joseph Park to start bleeding. You know, there’s only one match slated for Bound For Glory, and the show is in four weeks. Imagine if there was only one match booked for Wrestlemania with four weeks remaining? Unheard of. Then again, TNA and WWE have different philosophies. Eventually Jessie Godderz eats a Park splash, an EY top rope elbow and an ODB splash for the win. That wasn’t much, but then again those Bro-mans guys suck. WINNER: EY, ODB & Park

Austin Aries is stopped and asked what’s next. He will tell everyone in the ring.

Back from break and Hulk Hogan is backstage. He says he’ll fix all this crap with Dixie and AJ.

Out comes Austin Aries to the ring. Aries puts himself over, including headlining last year’s Bound for Glory. He’s interrupted by Kenny King? Where did this putz come from? He lost the X-Division Title like 2 months ago then vanished. He doesn’t believe in Aries’ hype and he was the headline last year. He puts over his X-Division title reign, and he believes his title was stolen by Chris Sabin. He goes back to when Aries dressed like Manik to get the X-Division Title, which King says was genius but King says Aries owes him. They continue getting in each other’s face until King sucker punches him. He runs off but Aries says no running away, get a referee here and let’s do this!

MATCH: Austin Aries vs. Kenny King
Aries flies over the rope and drops King on the ramp. When we return from break King is busted open and Aries is pounding on him. King makes a comeback, including a t-bone suplex off the second rope, but Aries recovers and hits the Gordbuster for the victory. King’s talented, but his promo skills are rough. WINNER: Austin Aries

Countdown to Bound for Glory will be Sunday October 20 at 7 on Spike TV, right before the PPV.

We get a vignette for Lei’d Tapa, the chick who won Gut Check a while back – she’s Barbarian’s niece. It looked like cheap indy junk.

Backstage Austin Aries runs into Chris Sabin and Velvet Sky. Sabin puts himself over while putting Aries down. Blah Blah Blah…Sabin’s a goof. Please dump him Velvet.

We go to the MEM’s locker room where Magnus is pissed off that things haven’t been going his way. Samoa Joe tries to calm him down and says Aces & Eights is the priority tonight, not EGO.

Back from break and out comes GM Hulk Hogan. He does his usual putting over of the town they’re in, and the crowd is actually pretty hot. He says he’s been in TNA since 2010 and his job, thanks to Dixie Carter, is running this show as best he can. He polls the crowd about AJ Styles staying in this company and the crowd goes crazy. I actually like this twist, because the way the storyline went AJ was away and not with TNA. Then he randomly shows up and wins BFG. I’ll admit, that’s pretty cool. Hogan calls AJ Styles out from the back, but decides to wait until later in the show to fix this mess. Even Hogan’s fumbling over his words.

Kurt Angle returns at Bound for Glory.

Somebody named Ethan is coming.

AJ Styles arrives and he says he will meet with Hulk Hogan later.

X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: Manik © vs. Chris Sabin
Velvet doesn’t look like she’s crazy about this new heel Sabin. How awful is TNA sometimes? They put the X-Division Title graphic up, and it’s the OLD belt. That’s why they’re still #2. A minute or two into the match and Sabin is limping badly. Sabin’s knee issues are well documented. Sabin throws Velvet into Manik on the outside and then Sabin boots Manik in the face. Manik recovers and puts Sabin into a cool submission move that looks like a Sharpshooter. These two do have good chemistry, but Sabin’s still a goof. Manik eventually puts that finisher back on. Velvet gets pulled into the ring and Sabin uses her as a shield, then tries a cheap roll up which Manik reverses into a 3 count. WINNER: Manik

Sabin attacks Manik after the match which brings out Aries, who chases Sabin off. Velvet isn’t happy with her boyfriend.

Backstage Wes Brisco is lamenting that their club is falling apart. Garrett Bischoff says everyone needs to focus on tonight, because they can’t lose another brother.

EGO is backstage ripping Kurt Angle, but more importantly Magnus. I see some interference tonight.

MATCH: Samoa Joe, Sting & Magnus vs. Bischoff, Brisco & Knux
As expected, EGO comes in about two minutes into the match and attacked Magnus. Two commercial breaks in like a minute. Terrible formatting. Just when I think TNA turns the corner, they take a few steps back. The match finally picks up steam after the breaks, then Samoa Joe hooks the reverse choke hold on Brisco, and Brisco taps out. WINNERS: Main Event Mafia

Brisco is down on the mat, and out comes World Champion Bully Ray. He grabs a mic, because he needs to talk again, and says Brisco is a disgrace and to hand over his cutte. Brisco refuses twice. So Bully asks Knux and Bischoff to do it. They hesitate, so Bully clotheslines and Bully Bombs Brisco. The music starts but Bully stops it, another fuck up tonight. Knux begrudgingly hands the cutte over to Bully Ray.

Back from break and Hulk Hogan is in the ring, apparently with a contract in his hand. Out comes AJ Styles. He puts AJ over and the crowd is going crazy. Hogan hands the contract over to AJ and he signs it. However, Dixie Carter comes out to interrupt. She puts Hogan in her place calling him an “employee”. Dixie rips up AJ’s contract and throws him out of the ring. She says no one knows what its like to live in her world. She says she reads all her criticisms and she says everyone needs her to create their world. Hogan looks like he’s having an aneurysm. She’s babbling, and she calls Hogan giving AJ a contract was a “lapse in judgment.” She wants to know if Hogan will be on “Team Dixie” or if he will be on the sidelines like AJ. She leaves the ring. With that we’re out.

SCOTT’S TAKE: This show was a formatting train wreck. Music screw-ups, graphics screw ups, and too many commercial breaks. Dixie acting like Stephanie McMahon is NOT the right creative move.

Author: Scott Criscuolo

Scott Criscuolo is a co-founder of the Place to Be, co-host of the Place to Be Podcast, and was in the radio business for 10 years. He loves all things pop culture, and someday he will be the ghost writer for Triple H's autobiography. Send Scott an email