House of Horror’s Jeremy Nichols and The Caliber Winfield Super Terrific Happy Hour’s Caliber Winfield have joined forces to form Two Dudes With Attitudes, and are here celebrate Halloween with the greatest deaths of the Friday The 13th franchise.
5. Friday The 13th Part VII – The New Blood: “No, JASON is the one who knocks”
Arguably the most censored entry of the entire franchise, The New Blood would have been host to more memorable kills than any film before or after if not for the MPAA. Despite this, there are quite a few awesome deaths, with the best being number 5 on my list.
Amanda was a major bitch. She wanted herself a slice of the Todd beefcake, but it wasn’t to be. He dug frizzy hair psychic chicks. So, in order to establish her role as the Alpha Female, Amanda did a number of things to try to humiliate Tina. From talking trash, to mocking her in front of everyone at the party.
Soon, after trying to make Todd jealous fails, she storms off to the house next door. While there, Tina & Todd show up, and warn her not to go outside. However, she doesn’t heed this warning, and upon opening the door, her mystery date is none other than Jason Voorhees. In a pose that would soon be every where, including the cover to the NES game, Jason raises his axe and drives it into Amanda’s skull. Because he’s the most pissed off supernatural being in all the land, he grabs the body and heaves it behind the TV. It’s fantastic because of the sheer anger you see from Jason, and the fact that Amanda was such a wicked bitch.
4. Jason Goes To Hell: “One on one sex turns into a threesome”
Most film franchises have a black sheep. Friday The 13th however has two. The first being A New Beginning, and the second being Jason Goes To Hell. This entry was the first time that the crew of a Friday series filmed extra footage for certain scenes in order to create a Director’s Cut on home video, and this scene is one instance.
Once Jason is dead, three kids head to Camp Crystal Lake in order to engage in a few rounds of drugs, drinking, and pre-marital sex. At one point, one of the girls and the only guy head into the tent to have some adult relations. The guy complains about not wanting to use a condom, and throws it out.
With the condom now history, the girl gets on top of the guy and they really get down with the business of getting down. Jason, having dispatched the other girl, grabs a metal fence post, the kind I used to see being used for barbwire, and plunges it through the tent & the girls abdomen. Blood bursts forward, all over the guy’s face, which is now twisted in a look of horror. You’d think that’d be all, but then Jason pulls upward, ripping the girl into two from the belly button up through the shoulder. It’s absolutely gruesome, and a hell of a special effect. One of the all time greats, and merit alone to earn Jason Goes to Hell a pass.
3. Friday The 13th Part VI – Jason Lives: “Jason’s Yoga For Real Guys”
When Tom McLoughlin was brought in to write & direct the 6th entry in the series, he wanted to up certain elements that were seldom, or non-existent in previous Fridays. Humor is the most obvious, which was done in a fantastic manner, and helped to earn Jason Lives the first run of positive reviews in the series’ history. Action was another element that was implemented into the series with crashes, car chases, fights & shoot-outs.
The Sheriff has had his hands full ever since Tommy blew into town, screaming about Jason returning from the grave. Since the get go, the Sheriff never believed what he thought were the ravings of a lunatic. However, when he finally arrived at what was once known as Camp Crystal Lake, and put multiple bullets into the still rising body of Jason Voorhees; he believed.
After the shoot-out, the Sheriff flees and Jason gives chase. Hiding from site, the Sheriff avoids Jason until his daughter, Megan shows up. She shouts out for her father, which nabs Jason’s attention. As he turns to go after her, the Sheriff leaps up out of his hiding spot, taking it to him full force in order to save his daughter. He gets Jason on his back, then grabs a giant rock and crashes it down onto Jason’s skull over and over. As always though, it’s little to no avail, as Jason grabs the Sheriff by his shoulders and begins to bend him backwards. Suddenly, two noises are competing with one another; the sound of the Sheriff’s pain-drenched screams, and all the bones & vertebra in his back snapping as he’s bent back completely in half. It’s fantastically brutal, and one of the most well done kills in the entire series. Bravo.
2. Friday The 13th Part VIII – Jason Takes Manhattan: “What’s your prediction for the fight? Pain”
Not loved by a lot of Friday fans for good reasons, Jason Takes Manhattan took a lot of liberties with the series. It screwed with continuity, and gave us an extremely lame ending. However, I still think it’s a fun entry. Jason has a great look, with a deep, dark yellow mask, and a constant coating of slime. The score has a brilliant touch, where everything sounds underwater, and the cruise ship makes for an interesting setting. While not nearly as good as most entries in the series, it’s still a good time hanging out in New York with Jason.
Julius, supreme boxer extraordinaire, is a member of the graduating class of Crystal Lake High. On the cruise ship he’s sparring, and getting the attention of all the females. Once Jason’s presence is known, Julius takes charge in rounding up a posse to nab him. However, it doesn’t go as planned and he ends up overboard, only to show up at the last minute, alive, when the remaining crew get on the life boat. Once they arrive in New York, Jason says it’s go time, and Julius puts up his dukes.
It’s an absolutely brilliant kill, and one of the examples of how much fun Jason Takes Manhattan is. We’ve seen people scrap with Jason before, but never like this. Julius doesn’t back down, and racks Jason with a flurry of punches until his knuckles are bruised, swollen, and bloody. Finally, like a man, he tells Jason to take his best shot. In what can only be described as a Forward+Down+Forward+HP Oyuken from Street Fighter II, Jason takes off Julius’ head with one punch and sends it crashing down into the dumpster. It’s one of those kills that causes an audience to roar in applause, and one of those kills that you’ll only find in a Friday The 13th.
1. Jason X: “With Your Face Shoved In A Sink Full of Liquid Nitrogen, No One Can Hear You Scream”
I can’t help it. I’m such a fan of the series that I find merit and fun in each entry. Jason X was created to keep the Friday The 13th brand out there while Freddy vs Jason was in development. Originally imagined & written much darker, Jason X was created during the post-Scream era, and thus the studio demanded more humor, and meta-related material. While I would have loved a darker approach, I have no problem with Jason X. I think there’s a ton of great kills, I dig the space setting, and Uber-Jason was a brilliant move.
The military is done trying to kill Jason, and instead wants to study him and figure out how regenerates damaged tissue [cute cameo from David Cronenberg]. Naturally, things go awry, and the heroine of the film locks Jason in a cryo-freeze tank, sealing him up for good. That is, until a class from the future is taking a field trip and stumble across the remains. They take him on board in order to study him, and basically get what they deserve.
There’s a woman studying him in her lab when Jason finally thaws out. He’s all sorts of pissed off and gets to doin’ what he does best. He grabs the woman, dunks her face into a pool of liquid nitrogen, effectively freezing it, then smashes it on to the table, exploding her cranium into a thousand pieces. It’s an absolutely brilliant kill, and obviously my favorite of the whole series. It helps to show the malice & cunning of Jason. He could have simply snapped her neck, but he’s always out to set an example. I love Kane’s performance here, as he isn’t gentle with the body what so ever. Every move is a quick snap, as Jason throws the body around like a rag-doll, seemingly as pissed as ever. Again, this is a perfect example of why I love the Friday The 13th series. It’s inventive, it’s fun, and it sets the standard.
5. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood: “Sleeping bag of death”
Probably the most infamous among the horror movie community, the sleeping bag death of Judy ranks up high on the list of kills. Jason, who is stalking teens out in the woods, comes across Judy who’s laying in a sleeping bag begging for a big man to come and get her. Jason answers the call, dragging her out of her tent and slamming her against a nearby tree hard enough to kill her.
Now the scene we got in the movie was one hit, but the scripted scene went on for two or three hits. One hit was more than enough for the kill to be violent and make an impact, as it’s still remembered by fans today.
4. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Take Manhattan: “Heads will roll”
One of the more hated sequels in the franchise contains its own good set of kills, but one that’s always stuck with me as being brutal and funny is the death of Julius. A small time boxer, who earlier in the film easily dispatched another classmate in a boxing match, he tries his luck against Jason’s hockey mask. Julius, to his credit, beats Jason across an apartment roof top.
However, because all these teenagers are idiots, Julius punches away at Jason’s hockey mask. Finally, Julius gives Jason a free shot, and Jason makes the most of it. Like Mike Tyson knocking out Little Mac, Julius loses his head over the shot.
3. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter: “Where’s the fancy corkscrew Ted?”
There’s something different about Jason in The Final Chapter. He seems more…mad. The kills are more vicious than normal, starting with the doctor and the nurse getting killed in overly graphic ways. Jim, or Jimbo if you ask Ted, is a dead fuck, but also has some class. After Jimbo has a romp in the sack with one of twins, he wants to crack open some wine and settle down. When he asks Ted for the corkscrew, Jason gives it to him in his hand followed by a hatchet to the face.
Because the hatchet in the face just wouldn’t get the point across. Ironic fact, the actor playing Jason is Ted White, so in a way Ted did bring Jimbo that corkscrew.
2. Friday the 13th Part 3: “Andy goes head over heels…”
Friday the 13th Part 3 is remembered for two things, it’s the first appearance of the iconic hockey mask, and it was filmed in 3D. What people forget is there are plenty of good kills in this one. Andy is the jock of his group, often times walking on his hands to show off. Even in the cabin he walks on his hands, and it’s in this state that Jason decides to cut him in half with a machete.
Debbie, Andy’s girlfriend, later finds both pieces of him sitting above the hammock, just before she meets her untimely death.
1. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives: “Face, meet wall”
Jason Lives did everything it could to lighten the mood of having a hockey masked killer randomly murdering teenagers. One of the ways gives us what I think is the best kill of the series. Nikki, who was kind enough to steal her step dad’s RV and bring it out to Forrest Green (Crystal Lake) to screw her boyfriend Cort, gets close and personal with Jason. Confined in the small bathroom space of the RV, Jason decides not to go the messy route, instead he introduces her face to the wall.
Not a drop of blood, and still awesome.
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