Wednesday Walk Around the Web – 03/27/2019

Welcome to the Wednesday Walk Around the Web, where we weave & wind through weblinks weekly. Hopefully you will find the links on offer amusing, interesting, or, occasionally, profound. Views expressed in the Wednesday Walk do not necessarily reflect those of anyone but the writer.

  • Approximately everyone has been buzzing about the high school drama club that presented Alien: The Play, and deservedly so, as it’s an amazing idea. The photos that’ve gone around make me think of Mr. P, who built all of the sets for my high school’s productions back when I was but a surly teen. Mr. P was kind, resourceful, and hypercompetent — and yet I can’t help but think that even good ol’ Mr. P would’ve found the prospect of building the space jockey rather challenging.
  • You know, everything in the world is horrible and we’re all going to die, but at least the next Bill & Ted movie is finally happening before most of us do. I’m really curious what it’ll look like, though, since they ought to be in the future rock utopia by now. One note: let’s perhaps not approach the idea of a CGI George Carlin.
  • Speaking of, the constant remakes of and sequels to any movie that might possibly carry any name recognition is an indicator of the essential lack of imagination that you get when the only thing Hollywood executives care about is the safest way to wring money out of things they already own — hold the phone, I’m getting word that 9 to 5 2 might actually be happening and I am HERE FOR THIS.
  • The newest season of Queer Eye came out recently, and I’ll just say I felt extremely called out by each episode in different ways, from people who felt overwhelmed and people who gave up to one guy whose hair seemed to have the same texture as mine. So (in the realm of minor spoilers) it’s heartening to hear that the Jones sisters are thriving and Jess is going back to college thanks to the fanbase.
  • Speaking of feeling called out by media, let’s all hope our internet friends understand how we feel about each other.
  • Translating anything from one language to another presents challenges — different languages develop under different circumstances, among different people who had different particular experiences they needed to describe and contexts in which they had to describe them. Translating from an ancient, dead language to a modern one augments those challenges, leaving us with completely technically faithful translations that make no sense.
  • NASA recently canceled a proposed all-women’s spacewalk because they don’t have safe spacesuits available in the right size for their astronauts. The explanation in this thread makes sense, but doesn’t exactly let NASA off the hook, as it shouldn’t.
  • This Week in Radical Recontextualization: “All Star” is now an English madrigal. It was always destined thus, and I am so glad that we finally got here.
  • This Week in Neural Net Processors, Learning Computers: If you’re heading out on the lake with the fam, you need a name for your boat, and neural nets are ready to provide a host of ideas. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go put another coat of wax on my trusy ol’ Back Shark.
  • Instagram, like every other social network, is beset by neofascists, right-wing conspiracy theorists, and multidirectional bigots of every stripe, who for some reason don’t understand that the platform is for posting photos of your food, selfies with your sweetums, and updates on the status of your cat.
  • This series of snapshots showing how millennial Jews relate to their Jewishness offers a nice variety of perspectives. I definitely find myself agreeing with the people who found themselves identifying more with Judaism in the context of the resurgent antisemitism we’re experiencing — the week after Charlotesville I was still a little dazed and found myself showing up for a Shabbat service for the first time in a long time. Plus, tikkun olam remains an incredibly important ethical principle on a basic level, and one I’d have a hard time with were I a goy.
  • Anyway, if you’re ever confused about Jewish holidays — and some of them are confusing! — just consult this handy guide.
  • This Week in Rankings We Needed: Every Major Female “Star Trek” Character, Ranked By Lesbianism. I can argue with no part of this.
  • Speaking of which, Captain Marvel really needs to acknowledge how gay it was.
  • Esports are now getting dedicated arena facilities. I get that I’m the boring fuddy-duddy who’s fine watching whatever sports I watch on TV because the camera angles are going to be better than the view from whatever seat I get, but like…isn’t esporting even more naturally suited to streaming?
  • The newest esport, of course, is sex, as long as you want to wear it on your strap-on and/or dong. Best of luck!

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