When Place to Be Nation sought out a correspondent to watch and write about the new WWE/E! reality show Total Divas each week, they initially wanted a “female voice.” Unfortunately for them, lifelong wrestling fan Ben Morse also happens to count Melrose Place among his all-time favorite shows and already has every other E! show on in the background via his lovely wife Megan, so he whined until they let him do it.
Jen Engle doesn’t watch wrestling or E!, but the Powers that PTB roped her into this anyway.
Find out what happens when one overly enthusiastic dude and a lady who has no idea what’s going on talk about a weekly “reality” show focusing on the female side of WWE.
Jen: Hi Everyone! First, thank you Ben for taking the reins last week while I was away. Ben is off this week folks, so it looks like you are stuck with me!
We start off this week’s episode with Brie looking through bridal magazines and asking Bryan why they don’t have men’s wedding magazines. Brie…uh…I haven’t met a man yet that had enough interest in the wedding that would fill one magazine, never mind something that came out once a month!
We then catch up with Summer Rae, who I was hoping was going in the direction of JoJo and disappearing from the line-up (except I’d rather see JoJo come back). Summer whines that she’s thirty and a few of her friends texted her that yet another one of her exes just got engaged. She claims to be like Good Luck Chuck and every single one of them seems to get engaged to their next girlfriend after her. Although I don’t have the same charm as Dane Cooke in that awful movie, I do kind of feel for Summer at this point because I am one of the last single girls in my group. But I really don’t feel that bad, because I really think she’s fake and whining just a little too much. It’s all clearly a set up for what is to come.
Trinity and Jon are waking up and she tells him that she forgot to take her birth control pills again. Not really much here other than she turns him down because she forgot so many times, but again, we’re setting up for what is to come.
Most of the girls all meet up for one of their brunches and Eva is actually dressed fairly conservatively. They all remark about it and even Nattie compliments her! Eva picked up the outfit at a thrift shop. Why don’t I ever have that kind of luck when I go to those places? There’s never anything good or in my size. Very disappointing.
Summer decides to become the center of attention and whine about her ex getting engaged. Most of the Divas date or are married to someone at work, so we get to hear how Brie and Bryan got together. I always kind of wondered myself, so I found it kind of interesting and cute that it started as a story line and once Brie found out he cared about the environment too, she developed a pretty big crush on him. She even got jealous that Nikki had to kiss him! They are still the sweetest couple on this show if you ask me. Even sweeter that they got together this way. We even had a flashback to 2010 when it all went down. The girls all bring up Fandango and how it’s nice to date someone at work, which gets Summer thinking about him. Fandango is still super creepy to me. And it’s quite clear that all of this was put together for the cameras.
We cut to Summer Rae and Fandango in the ring and she starts talking about how maybe this could work. After work, she attempts to flirt with him and invites him to dinner. She lives in Orlando, he lives in Tampa so it’s not that far away.
Did anyone else feel that this was the most fake flirtation that you’ve ever seen? I’m sorry Summer, but you are a terrible actress. There is no chemistry there. She’s forcing it. Which makes me wonder why this is even going down. Oh yeah…the cameras.
Brie is at a bridal shop trying on bridal gowns for her sister and bridesmaids…minus Nikki who is clearly running very late. This is one of the biggest moments in Brie’s life and Nikki is late! Who knows how many dresses Brie tried on that weren’t on camera, but if my MOH was that late, I would be pretty pissed. Brie finds THE dress and is bummed because Nikki wasn’t there to see it. She decides to try on a few more “for fun” when Nikki finally walks in.
Brie and Nikki’s mother asks Nikki how she’s doing with all of this. Nikki obviously isn’t okay. When Brie walks out in one of the “fun” dresses, and asks Nikki what she and her mom were talking about, Nikki makes a snide remark that it’s Brie’s day and not to worry about it.
Next, we are riding with Ariane, Eva Marie and Trinity somewhere. They bring up birth control and Trinity mentions she’s been researching an implant that will stay active for 3 years. Eva says she should probably talk to Jon about that (I actually agree with Eva Marie here) and Trinity says it’s her body and she thinks it’s best for her and her career right now. We also learn that Eva isn’t even on anything at the moment! After all she’s been through, I sincerely hope she can have kids someday.
Brie and Nikki go to a shop to try on bridesmaid dresses. Nikki wants to be the star of the show because she’s the Maid of Honor. I wasn’t aware that being an MOH meant you dressed like a hoochie? Terrible choice of words, but I really can’t think of a better way to describe the way Nikki looks in the dresses she chose. Brie wants the bridesmaids to be elegant and fairly conservative. She wants Nikki to show less boobs. Believe me, I know that sometimes it can be difficult to fully cover up the girls, but when you are in a wedding you find a way!
Nikki complains that she should look like her and Brie puts her in her place and tells her that it’s not Nikki’s wedding, it’s her day.
Trinity and her mom are on her way to the lady doctor to get her birth control implant. She went with her mom? This is something she should be doing with her husband! Oh wait, she hasn’t even told him yet. Momma knows best here, Trinity. She says that Jon is going to be very upset when he finds out and that she should talk to him tonight. Jon happens to text her while they are waiting to see where she is and she just says that she wants to get this over with. I would take this as a pretty big sign that she should have told him what she was up to!
Summer Rae and Fandango are on their first date! It’s so terribly awkward. Fandango’s real name is apparently Curtis. I just had to look that up. He doesn’t look like a Curtis, but anyways, he tells Summer that he’s “always single”. RED FLAG. And then he asks Summer if she’s getting worried about being single since she’s getting old. That is just not something you ask a girl. Especially when you are on a date with her.
Curtis/Fandango takes Summer to a place called Salty’s, which is where he goes to get drunk (his words, not mine). SECOND RED FLAG. He orders them margaritas in mason jars and Summer admits she’s never even heard of or seen a mason jar before. Clearly, this girl is not on Pinterest. I can see that this is a red flag to Fandango, but he tells her that she has nice legs anyways.
Summer is giving him the 3rd degree, asking him all sorts of questions that Curtis is clearly uncomfortable with. He wants to know why she is asking so many questions, I think he just thought they were going to go out and get drunk. She wants to know what his five year plan is…and he reluctantly answers that he hopes to someday settle down but his career comes first. Third red flag. Summer, if anything happens here it’s not going to be a relationship.
The scene is tied up nicely when Summer tells us that she can’t tell if he’s flirting with her or not. If you can’t tell, then he probably isn’t…
We next join Nikki and John Cena for a work out, when Brie and Bryan walk in. All Brie wants to talk about is the wedding and Nikki just wants to work out. She tells her they’ll discuss the wedding plans later, only for Brie to come up and interrupt her again to talk about the seating plan. So, Nikki tells her to leave and that there is a new rule, no wedding talk in the gym. She says the guys don’t want to talk about it either and John makes a joke that he and Bryan were just talking about floral arrangements before she interrupted them. John made a joke! During a workout! I guess he’s not always a robot.
Fandango and Summer are heading home from their date and he tells her that he didn’t think that she would have a good time, but is glad that she did. She tries to flirt with him again and asks what time the pool is open until, and he says she should stay longer. They have a drink on his couch and Summer throws herself on him and kisses him.
She tells the camera that the kiss was NOT good…and gets up all weirded out because they have no chemistry and it felt like she was kissing her brother. She gets a bottle of water and the world’s most awkward date ends.
Back at the training center, Eva, Trinity and Summer are in the ring when Jon comes in. He notices the purple band around her arm and the other two girls make themselves scarce (meaning they are 8 feet away at most) while Trinity tells Jon that she got a birth control implant that will last for 3 years.
He’s upset that she went and got the implant without discussing it with him. And that she went to the doctor without him. He’s upset that she did all of this behind his back and says it’s shady, and it is.
Brie and Nikki are at Nikki’s house and Brie wants to put together her wedding invitations. Nikki complains that she’s tired and doesn’t want to do that right now and asks why she didn’t hire someone to do it. So Brie pretty much tells her she shouldn’t even bother coming to the wedding and leaves.
I see where both of the Bella Twins are coming from, but I do think Nikki is behaving like a brat.
Brie talks to their mother about all of it, and momma Bella tells Brie that she has to realize that this all has to upset Nikki because she may never have her own wedding someday. Brie sees her side and says she’ll reach out to Nicole.
Summer and Fandango meet up at work and he asks her what was up with the other night. They have a very awkward conversation about how she doesn’t want to ruin their work relationship and they are both in agreement that the chemistry just isn’t there. Maybe if they were shipwrecked on an island together they would try it again, but they aren’t going to pursue their relationship any further.
Trinity reaches out to Jon to talk about the implant. He asks her how she would feel if he went and got a vasectomy behind her back and she says that she’d kill him! His point being made, she realizes now why she would be upset and apologizes. Trinity wants to have kids, just not for a couple more years. Right now, her career is too important to her and she wants to get the Divas Title.
The episode wrapped up nicely with Brie and Nikki making up in their own weird Brie and Nikki ways. Nikki points out how busy they both are and that it does suck to talk about this wedding stuff when she probably won’t have her own wedding to plan. Why do they hug each other so awkwardly? It’s kind of hilarious how uncomfortable they both look.
Pretty quiet episode by Divas standards, but next week looks like a good one! Until next time, Divas!