The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 5/22/14

Taped from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Renee Young and some other people who aren’t William Regal.

Bo Dallas v. Big E

Sadly, “Langston” has become the first victim of the stock crash and was future-endeavored along with Cesaro’s first name.  Expect Antonio Langston in TNA any day now.  Bo quickly runs away and gets overpowered and beat up.  Funny bit as the crowd wants to count to 5 for all of E’s stuff, but Bo keeps escaping his punches at 4.  He even makes them mad getting beat up!  Although perhaps the crowd should explore the possibility that they have OCD.  They head to the floor and Bo sends him into the stairs to take over, and we take a break during a chinlock.  Back with nothing much going on and Big E makes the comeback, but Bo escapes the Ending with a neckbreaker for two.  Bo clotheslines him in the corner and tries the Bo-Dog, but E lands on his feet and suplexes him for two.  Big splash misses and Bo gets the DDT for two.  He takes the turnbuckle pad off, hoping for a repeat of his prior success with it, but the Big Ending finishes at 12:45 and it’s time for Bo to Bo-Leave.  Not much heat for this, as really the Bo character was blown off in the ladder match.  **  Bo gives us a funny sendoff after the break, noting that he strongly dislikes all of us, but he’ll be the bigger man and leave.

Kind of weird to see commercials for the Wrestlemania XXX DVD on the Network, where you can literally watch the entire thing for free whenever you want.

Meanwhile, Sami Zayn isn’t really happy about not getting a title shot yet again.  Tyler Breeze wanders in and wants a match, but not tonight.  He’s busy tonight, buying phone cases.  So they’ll have a match at the Takeover show instead.

Paige v. Tamina

Now I wonder if the NXT crew will remind us that she’s the daughter of Jimmy Snuka.  Because she is, you know.  Paige has kind of been booked like shit since winning the title, basically getting treated like the 1-2-3 Kid of the Divas division, which is not a good thing to be.  Paige slugs away, but makes the mistake of trying a headbutt on someone of Polynesian descent.  Tamina pounds her down to take over and gets some bodyslams for two, and into the bearhug.  FINALLY we get a mention 2 minutes in of Tamina’s dad.  Man, Rich Brennan is so getting fired for not telling us right away.  How else is Tamina ever gonna get over?  Tamina works the back and gets a torture rack, which gives Alex Riley another chance to remind us that HE WAS TOTALLY A WRESTLER, GUYS.  Paige escapes and comes back with clotheslines, but Tamina no-sells it and shoves her out of the ring.  Back in, Tamina goes up and lands on Paige’s boot, and a small package finishes at 5:52.  Why all the “slip on a banana peel” booking for Paige?  **  They gave her that win over Emma and the crosslock finisher, and then all her matches have become “sell sell sell one move for the win” since then.

Adam Rose v. Camacho

Surprised they didn’t save this one for the PPV. Camacho beats him down in the corner, but Rose takes him down and pounds away in the corner.  Camacho escapes with a samoan drop as the crowd accuses him of being a party pooper.  Camacho with a legdrop for two.  Rose fights back with chops and makes the X-fueled comeback.  Spinebuster and broncobuster set up the neckbreaker, but Camacho runs away at 4:00.  And so yes, we get a heel walkout finish on NXT, just like on RAW.  STOP TRYING TO “FIX” THIS SHOW, WWE!  This is a really bad trend that they’ve been setting.  *  I will say, I’m glad we’re getting a babyface character who does a “hulking up” comeback, because it’s actually been a while since we’ve seen one.

Update:  Camacho and Rose actually will have their blowoff at Takeover, so that stupid finish was a bit less offensive.  But why even do the match here?

NXT Women’s Title semi-finals:  Sasha Banks v. Natalya

Winner gets Charlotte at the PPV.  Natalya gets the low dropkick for two, but Sasha works her over in the corner and goes to a chinlock.  Nat with a suplex, but Sasha gets a good bulldog and hurts her leg on the way down.  She bails and Charlotte has little sympathy for the injury, and throws Sasha back in.  Nat quickly finishes with the Sharpshooter at 4:00 to advance.   Hopefully they’re just using Natalya to put Charlotte over next week.  *

Adrian Neville v. Curt Hawkins

Neville grabs a headlock, but Curt clotheslines him to escape and gets a suplex for two.  Neville fights back with kicks and a running elbow in the corner, and the Red Arrow finishes at 2:22.  That’s exactly what it should have been, the champ squashing the shit out of someone.  Tyson Kidd comes out and he wants the title, and he’s got FACTS to back it up.  Neville then goes low, noting that as usual only Kidd’s wife will getting the gold.  OUCH.

Totally inoffensive, “build the PPV” go home show that hit all the marks needed and made you want to see the Takeover special next week.  I can dig it.