Friday Night Smackdown
June 28, 2013
Columbia, South Carolina
We actually get the Smackdown open for the first time in a while. Live from Gamecocks country. Randy Orton will face Kane and we’ll get a Fiesta Del Rio tonight. We get right down to it with our first match.
DUBLIN STREET FIGHT: Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow
Sheamus gets a huge pop from the audience. There’s a bar at ringside with taps connected to it. Now that’s my type of match! I think they should have used Belfast instead of Dublin. For Sons of Anarchy fans you’ll get the reference. Tougher town. A close up shows Smithwick’s as one of the taps. Now it’s REALLY my type of match. Sandow has the mike and starts ripping South Carolina. SILENCE! “Y’all is not a word.” Sheamus dominates early, then Sandow hits a drop kick and he throws Sheamus into the bar. Sheamus grabs a keg and throws it at Sandow. DON’T ABUSE THE SMITHWICK’S! Sheamus hits Sandow with a sack of potatoes. Sandow takes over and sets a chair up in a corner, but Sheamus decks him with a bar stool. Sandow finds a green kendo stick and starts beating Sheamus down with it. I know he’s not going to win but he’s putting on a hell of a fight. Sheamus opens two chairs up in the ring. He hits Sandow with the kendo stick, which makes Sandow sit on the chairs. Sheamus Brogue Kicks him out of the chairs and wins the match. The crowd was very hot for this match and Sheamus earned this one.
We go back to Monday night when Daniel Bryan stunned everyone my making Randy Orton tap out.
Backstage Kane is prepping and there’s Daniel Bryan whistling. He’s quite relaxed after winning Monday night but Kane says he’s stressing him out. Bryan gives him a hug.
We get a video recapping Monday night’s saga with CM Punk and Paul Heyman. We now are in the ring for MIZ TV. He introduces Paul to the show. Miz asks “Paul you always have an answer for everything.” Paul wants Punk and Brock as a tag team. Miz wants to get under Paul’s skin about bullying, including what Paul did to Renee Young last week. Paul instead introduces his guy, the IC Champion Curtis Axel. Miz keeps stirring the shit about Paul lying to Punk about Brock Lesnar. The Miz is such an annoying babyface, he’s actually worse than Sheamus. Miz asks Axel “What happens when you lose the IC Title to me and you don’t fit the mold anymore.” Axel rebuts, and Miz wants an IC Title shot right now. Paul says his clients don’t fight for free. Paul and Miz mouth off at each other and Axel hits Miz with a neckbreaker.
MATCH: AJ vs. Natalya
We go back to Monday night when AJ did that hilarious impersonation of Kaitlyn. Tonight the champ takes on the new Mrs. Tyson Kidd. Suddenly AJ’s music hits and out comes Kaitlyn dressed as AJ. This is crazy. She pretty much calls AJ a crazy slut, saying she’s boned the entire male end of the roster. She even says she started a relationship with Lillian! Wow that may make Trish Stratus jealous. Kaitlyn is skipping around the ring and AJ is flipping out, which gives Natalya a chance to roll the distracted Divas champ up for the victory. I have to admit, I love that the Divas division finally has a juicy storyline. Kaitlyn hands AJ a spear to finish the humiliation off.
Another great vignette for the Wyatt Family. MEN LIKE ME ARE THE CREATORS. THE FIST COMES DOWN.
Teddy Long is backstage and he’s on the phone when Vince walks in. Oh Christ they’re going to infect this show too. Teddy says “Unlike Vickie Guerrero, I’m going to think outside the box for the Smackdown MITB ladder match.” “Booker T has never done this either, (and we’re) looking ahead to the future.” So Teddy announces the World Title MITB guys: Wade Barrett, Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro, Fandango, Dean Ambrose, Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow. Wow that’s great. It may not have the star power but this one easily will be the better MITB match.
Daniel Bryan comes out for commentary on this next encounter.
MATCH: Randy Orton vs. Kane
So the WWE Title MITB match is called the “All-Stars”. Will the other one be called “The Futures”? Standard TV match from these two with the action going back and forth. After the break Daniel Bryan gets on top of the broadcast table and start chanting “YES YES” to pump up his former tag team partner. Bryan’s acting a little heelish when he says “If Kane wins it’s great, but not as impressive as my win over Randy on Monday.” Boo. Kane goes for a chokeslam but Orton reverses and hits a Power Slam for two. Orton’s on the second turnbuckle and Kane decks him in the face and Orton goes flying to the floor. Bryan says Kane may need his help so he gets up and pushes Kane into the ring, which lets Orton snap an RKO and Orton gets the win. Bryan is smiling. So he’s going to turn heel. A colossally stupid idea. But of course he’s going to feud with Cena and we can’t have face/face.
MATCH: Justin Gabriel vs. Ryback
Gabriel’s won some big matches on Main Event, but it’s not going to happen here. Some token offense from Gabriel but Shell Shock ends it.
The match ends and Jericho’s music plays. He comes out and asks about Ryback’s leg and knee. Jericho says “Ever since this match was set, all he’s heard is how tough Ryback is. I’ve also heard you’re a whiner and complainer.” He calls Ryback “Cryback”. The crowd of course chants it. Jericho head into the ring and they start brawling. Y2J almost puts the Walls in but Ryback escapes.
We go back to Monday night and the launch of the 2K14 game and the stupid Rock cover. The fans will create an alternate cover.
Vignette #2 tonight of the Wyatt family.
MATCH: Christian & The Usos vs. The Shield
It’s nice to see Christian back. He really brings a change of pace to the promotion and makes some people want to watch again. The match has a different feel to it with Christian in there, clearly keeping pace with the Hounds of Justice. Rollins hits a sweet somersault through the top rope. However The Shield suffers loss #2 as a team when Christian hits a spear to win the match.
So is the tag team title match at MITB? Cole alludes it’s not but I’ve read it is.
Back from break and the ring is decorated nicely with mariachis playing. Ricardo starts making fun of the South Carolinians. He’s a heel but the crowd still announces Alberto’s name with Ricardo, then boos him. Tonight a black scarf, which means he’s DOUBLE heel. He says “Tonight we celebrate my winning back the World Title. Four-time World Champion now.” He’s decided to speak only in Spanish and there will be closed captioning. The “USA USA USA” chants happen. It’s funny how Del Rio defended America in the Swagger feud and now he makes fun of them. So Del Rio speaks and I can’t understand it obviously. Del Rio breaks the piñata. He will kick Dolph’s head in like the destroyed the piñata. He challenges Ziggler to come out and he does. The #1 contender starts walking down the ramp and they brawl. Dolph throws Ricardo from the top rope to a table and then hits Del Rio with the Zig Zag. He then grabs a guitar but Del Rio leaves the ring and bolts. Dolph turns around and buries Ricardo it. He hits him flush in the face with it. He plays with the band afterwards with balloons coming down. With that we’re out.
SCOTT’S TAKE: I’m getting the feeling both Daniel Bryan and Teddy Long will be turning heel. Miz has passed Sheamus as the second most annoying person in the company.
Scott’s Smackdown top 5:
1) Alberto Del Rio
2) Dolph Ziggler
3) Daniel Bryan
4) Dean Ambrose
5) AJ/Kaitlyn (TIE)