Scott’s Impact Recap 8/29/13

Hulk Hogan is putting Bully Ray through the wringer starting next week again the MEM's top guy. (Courtesy TNA Wrestling)
Hulk Hogan is putting Bully Ray through the wringer starting next week against the MEM’s top guy. (Courtesy TNA Wrestling)

Impact Wrestling
August 29, 2013
Cleveland, Ohio

We start the show with Bully Ray and Brooke T. walking backstage, then a recap of last week when Austin Aries turned on his old partner and Bad Influence. Then we see Bully Ray’s new “Brooke”, and we say goodbye to Devon. We now head live to Cleveland, with the final one-on-one matches in the BFG Series. First off we’re joined by the World Champion Bully Ray, along with that putz Tito Ortiz, and the rest of Aces & Eights. Bully’s in a bad mood, because someone is missing from this ring. He’s pissed that Devon is gone, and he wants some answers. He wants the answers from his brothers. He simply asks “What happened?” Bischoff has no answers, followed by Knux, who says he was on the floor brawling. Next is Brisco who has no answers. Finally we get to the VP, Anderson. He doesn’t know either, but he says Devon knew the consequences and it is what it is. Bully Ray says it is what it is. Bully calls Devon a disappointment and a loser. He calls Devon his “costar and his sidekick”. As he’s running Devon down the club behind him, instead of the club getting pumped up they’re befuddled. Bully says all he needs is the “Huntington Beach Bad Boy” Tito Ortiz. Anderson is stumped, and then Bully Ray gives Tito a cut. Anderson says he’s out of his mind, but Bully runs him down and tells Anderson to get in line. Tessmacher comes out with the cut and he puts it on Ortiz. Anderson is pissed but Bully doesn’t care. He mentions that Hogan is in the building. He has a deal with Hogan, more on that later.

Jeff Hardy mumbles some nonsense about last year’s BFG Series. Ugh why is he still with this company? Oh because TNA is a little clueless. CREATURES!!!! Ugh.

Back from break and GM Hulk Hogan is back from weeks of travelling, and he’ll talk about the deal with Bully Ray.

As the BFG Series stands right now, the top four that would meet at No Surrender would be Magnus, Bobby Roode, Christopher Daniels and Austin Aries. Samoa Joe, Anderson, Jeff Hardy, AJ and Kaz are all within six points of the fourth spot.

BFG SERIES MATCH: Kazarian vs. Jeff Hardy
This sucks because you know Hardy is going to win this match because A) Bad Influence can’t interfere and B) Jeff Hardy is a douche and since I can’t stand him he’ll win. No Surrender is September 12, and by then we will have the top four guys. Magnus looks pretty safe, the other three I’m not sure. Kaz dominates the action early until Hardy reverses a suplex into one of his own. Hardy tries to do some submission move that he’s taking forever to try and put on. I noticed that TNA’s turnbuckles are wider than WWE’s. Is that so the cumbersome old guys can get to the top rope faster? Kaz gets a few two counts on various maneuvers. As expected, Hardy wins with the Swanton. He now is in third place with 31 points, pushing Aries to fifth. WINNER: Jeff Hardy

Backstage the guys in the club are pissed that Ortiz got patched with no vote. Anderson says there will be a vote and Bully Ray won’t be happy.

#1 CONTENDERS MATCH, TWO OF THREE FALLS: Gail Kim vs. ODB
This is for a shot at Mickie James’ Knockouts Title, probably at Bound for Glory. Gail worked ODB over with submission moves for the early pin and ODB taps out with what looked like some sort of knee wrench. Right back from break and ODB gets a quick pin near the ropes for the tying fall. The Cleveland crowd is rowdier than the crowds from the past few sets of shows. They’re losing money on this venture, and until now the crowds have been tepid anyway. Have I mentioned that ODB has the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen a women’s wrestler have. That must kill her back in matches. ODB gets Gail in a pretty bad Sharpshooter (I mean Rock sharpshooter) and sadly Gail Kim taps out. So ODB is #1 contender and will face Mickie James somewhere down the line. WINNER: ODB

Back from break and in the back Velvet Sky puts ODB over and the Knockouts PPV. It turns out she’s in a relationship with Chris Sabin. Ok maybe I’m dumb to that, but wow she can definitely upgrade from that bum.

Next Roode and Daniels are making plans for the night. Daniels is pissed that Hogan is putting the screws to ego. Roode says it doesn’t matter, and that everything will work out.

In the arena Borash is with Austin Aries who pretty much says he needs no one to become World Champion again. He says Styles joined the MEM last week and that’s fine for him. Daniels comes out and gets in Aries’ face about what happened last week. They jaw jack and push each other.

We get a history lesson of the Main Event Mafia/Aces & Eights war. We’re now joined by the MEM in the ring. Joe, Sting and Rampage are out, as Angle is still drying out. Rampage runs into Tito for what happened two weeks ago and he’s not waiting for November 2 at Bellator. He’ll stomp a mudhole into Tito’s ass. Samoa Joe is pumped tonight, but last week things were bleak but then AJ Styles stepped up to the plate. Sting is thrilled and he invites AJ to come out so the Icon can say thank you for last week. AJ comes out. AJ looks to have left his creepy drug addict gimmick and seems to be back to the “Phenomenal One”. He appreciates them being out here, but he respectfully asks the MEM to let him do it alone. AJ says the fans have questions, and he has answers. Last week, he helped the MEM win the match. So is he in the group? He loves what their doing, but the suit and tie isn’t him. He says in the past year he’s developed trust issues, including video footage of his so-called “dirty laundry” being aired out. He makes it clear that he with no one, as he says his perception in this business has changed but he is still “Phenomenal”. He says this is just a job though. He says this job has sucked, and he says he deserves better. He says he’s carried the company for eleven years and every time he gets pushed aside. This promo sounds very much like Bret Hart in 1997. He says there’s times he hoped to be fired so he didn’t have to quit. He realized over the past couple of months since he’s returned though, that he liked being the go-to guy. He will be the go-to guy again and be World Champion. That was the best promo AJ’s fired off in a while, and to me it means he wins the World Title at BFG.

BFG SERIES MATCH: AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode
Should TNA be concerned that Bound for Glory isn’t sold out? They’re also still shilling the VIP travel packages. Roode works AJ over early with power moves and a pull of the arms backwards. I’ll be honest, I’ve probably watched about four AJ Styles matches in my lifetime, so I’m not sure if he’s still as good as he was in 2003 or even 2010-11. That promo he just cut made me a fan because he legitimately believes he is the foundation of this company. He probably is. He’s in control of this match, and goes for the Styles Clash but Roode reverses out. AJ goes for a Springboard but Roode reverses into a Crossface but AJ puts his foot on the rope. Roode pulls AJ in the middle and goes back to the Crossface but AJ gets back. AJ cranks the Calf Killer out of nowhere but Roode hits the rope. I think the Calf Killer, goofy name but effective finisher. Roode goes for a Samoan Drop but Styles reverses into a roll-up for the victory. It gives him 29 points, but he’s 1 point behind Daniels for the #4 spot. I feel a Daniels DQ coming later tonight. WINNER: AJ Styles

Jeremy Borash is backstage and he says after our final match of the night Hulk Hogan has a major announcement. Back to the BFG Series. Right now the final four are Magnus, Roode, Hardy and Daniels.

BFG SERIES MATCH: Christopher Daniels vs. Austin Aries
So after what we’ve seen of the past half hour, its evident that Styles will be in the Final Four at No Surrender. So that means Daniels will be DQ’ed in this match, lose ten points and allow Styles to move up to fourth. Aries’ cape looks stupid, it looks like a cheap Party City costume. Lose it. After struggling early, Aries is in control and hits the Pendulum Elbow for two. Seems like Aries is turning face, based on his promos and crowd interaction. In a total shock to me, Aries wins with a brainbuster. So the final four is Magnus, Aries, Roode and Hardy. Where’s AJ fit in all this? I’m confused. There must be more to this. WINNER: Austin Aries

For the first time in many weeks, we’re joined by Impact Wrestling’s General Manager Hulk Hogan. He puts the crowd in Cleveland over and he talks about all the travelling and business he’s doing. He also puts over his new sneakers, Jordans. We get it, you have money. Time for our first order of business, the BFG Series. We see the order I mentioned earlier, but Hogan says the landscape has changed and that next week we will have one more BFG match. It will be a 20 point gauntlet match. So that’s where AJ will win and reach the top four. He’s about to get to the next order of business when out comes World Champion Bully Ray and Brooke T. God she’s ugly. Bully Ray yells DAD! YOU’RE BACK! He gets very facetious about him being gone and then waves the title belt in Hogan’s face. He is about to introduce Brooke T but Hogan cuts him off. He throws divorce papers in Bully Ray’s face and Hogan’s daughter is moving on. Yeah, looking for another job. Bully is pissed but then smiles. Bully says he doesn’t care about divorce papers or your daughter. He says he’s used everybody in this company to get what he wants. Hogan asks if Bully knows who he is. Why does everybody in this company ask that? Hogan says he’s in charge here, so he’s using Aces & Eights. So at No Surrender, Bully Ray will defend the World Title against one of his Aces & Eights members. Bully Ray says no way, but then Hogan says Bully must face someone tonight as well. Out comes Sting and he works Bully over, and Bully runs away with Brooke T as we go off the air.

SCOTT’S TAKE: The matches were pretty good, and the AJ promo was fantastic, one of his best. He has to be in the final four, so expect him to win that 20-point gauntlet match next week. It looks like the Aces & Eights storyline is beginning its final chapter with all the issues starting tonight.

Author: Scott Criscuolo

Scott Criscuolo is a co-founder of the Place to Be, co-host of the Place to Be Podcast, and was in the radio business for 10 years. He loves all things pop culture, and someday he will be the ghost writer for Triple H's autobiography. Send Scott an email