Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny (2023)
Dir: James Mangold
Written by: Jez Butterworth; David Koepp; John-Henry Butterworth; James Mangold
Starring: Harrison Ford; Phoebe Walter-Bridge; Ethan Isidore
by Paul Bernardo paulieb2003@gmail.com
Yea – so I had the same fear too. Well, the same couple of fears. A) will it be better than Crystal Skulls. B) Can an 80 year old still run and fight on top of speeding trains?
To make it easy for you – let’s give the short version answers for now. Yes it is, and No, he can not.
I mean, Harrison looks great for 80. God bless him and good for him and all that. However, to do an action movie? I mean – it was laughable. In one scene you see Harrison struggle to open the door, next shot his stuntman is beating up 3 body guards. Harrison clearly has a hard time running, next shot you see the stuntman running faster and hopping on a horse with ease. In other words, Harrison has trouble doing things with any kind of strength or grace – and the stuntmen are doing everything with speed and amazing agility. So you can clearly see the huge difference between shots. If this wasn’t Indiana Jones it would be a comedy like The Naked Gun, where the stunts are clearly exaggerated. So that really put a damper on things, and yes people in my theater chuckled at it. I mean no amount of CGI can fix that. Harrison is old, he is 80, and these kinds of films are behind him now, sadly. We see him fumble around with some shelves, next shot the stuntmen gracefully jumps from ledge to ledge and knocks the shelves down on the bad guys. You look at this and think – really?
While we’re here – let’s talk about that De-Aging sequence that took the first 20 minutes of the movie. The Plot point was great – taken directly out of Last Crusade, where an artifact back then – becomes relevant now. I get it, and it was great story telling and great job by the writers to incorporate that writing tool again. However – this time it’s not River Pheonix playing Indy – it’s Harrison Ford, but they de-aged him.
Now, let’s talk about his. Scorsese thought he had a breakthrough when he de-aged Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro in the abysmal film, The Irishman for Netflix. Remember that 3 hour fiasco? Behind the scenes footage has Marty yelling at Pacino. Saying something like “remember – you’re gonna like 30, you have to act, move and sound like you’re 30”.
Yea – well that didn’t work then, and it doesn’t work now. Harrison sounds 80, talks slow like he’s 80, has difficulty moving around the room like he’s 80, but looks 30. So there is the problem. A young guy, looks good – but can’t move. You’re thinking, what’s wrong with he guy? Does he have arthritis at 30? No – he’s 80. Why not get a younger actor to play him? Who knows, but it made the film worse.
Don’t leave yet – there is good in this movie. The story is what we wanted. The story is what we needed, the story is what an Indiana Jones movie should be. Academia, history, archeology, college classes, students, history, puzzle solving – all of it is what an Indiana Jones movie needs to be and is exactly what we got.
By the way – Shia LaBeouf was so bad in Crystal Skulls, they killed off his character. So Indiana Jones’s son is dead. This is how bad Shia was in that movie. They killed him off. They could have easily ignored his existence – but no – they made it a plot point to kill him off. So in no time in the future, can he ever, ever, reprise that role. Spielberg made sure of it. I think that was kinda good revenge.
So yea, also – Karen Allen did look bad. Not her fault though, so did Sallah. Yes it was the same Sallah that was in Raiders. Yes, no one recognized him. I mean, c’mon, everybody aged except Harrison. For some reason that guy still looks amazing. The thing with Karen Allen, they didn’t try to make her look good. They gave her plain clothes, in bright sunlight, in a sad scene. Not like she could flash her brilliant smile or have any fun. So she was put in a tough spot and I think she did great. It was also good to see Sallah, even though no one recognized him.
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Phoebe Waller-Bridge. She plays Helena or “Wombat” as Indy calls her. This girl literally carries the whole movie. This girl is the star of this film, this girl does an amazing job. She is Indy’s God daughter, she is the daughter of his best friend, Basil Shaw who has sadly passed on. Wombat is going for her Doctorate degree in Archeology, and has the same love for history as Indy, and actually is a bit smarter than Indy what it comes to history, forgotten languages, figures, and cracking codes. I think this is terrific. Indy not only has a peer in this movie, but she is younger, happier and smarter than him. The promising part of the young generation, and it’s great to see. Someone figured out you don’t need to give Indy a son, just a peer. Someone in graduate school with immense passion for the same things as Indy, and has put in the work and loves it just as much as he does. This works brilliantly. These two talk things out, decode things, read dead languages together, and it’s so fun to give Indy someone to play off of, I think it was a great idea. Unfortunately no critic or director or celebrity is talking about Phoebe, and she does absolutely carry this movie on her back. Phoebe deserves some Hollywood chatter, some praise – I mean after all, she is more than holding her own with Indiana Jones! Something Shia could not do at all.
I do hope Phoebe gets some chatter and some buzz, she truly deserves it. She is not a flop in this at all, she is a shining star that shines brightly among legends in an iconic swan song for a legendary movie character.
The story is much better than Skulls. There is an actual artifact, based on an actual historical figure, that did actually make a huge impact on mankind. So that’s good. That right there is ten times better than fighting aliens. Indy still fights Nazi’s, but that’s the era in which he belongs, and it’s comforting that he is still doing that.
Indy retires from teaching after 10 years at Hunter college. He sees the students lacking interest, and just not caring anymore and we get the feeling it’s just over. He is tired, he is not going on adventures anymore, can’t and shouldn’t, and if the classroom is all he has to look forward to, he might as well hang it up. I think we all feel that way at that stage in our lives. 80 is a big late to feel that way. Most of us feel that way around 50 or 60, but he gave that extra 10 years.
Wombat injects life into his veins with her passion and her high hopes for her future. Getting her doctorate, learning more about history and artifacts and historical figures. She puts life into his veins, and ours, and we quite enjoy it. A new leash on life enters the movie with the same interests and talents as Indy and it is great to see. Phoebe makes us sit up, on the edge, wondering how she can outsmart the great Indiana as they work together against the Nazi’s. Kind of like Indy and his Dad teaming together, this had the same feel and it was great to experience.
Besides the obvious difference in action scenes, this movie has heart, and is true to the characteristics of Indiana Jones. It is smart, there are ancient puzzles to figure out, there is the Dial of Destiny to obtain and figure out, and it all plays to Indy’s strengths and why we fell in love with him in the first place. Unfortunately, Harrison is just too old for this. His time has passed, and it shows in every action shot. His running scenes go from a limping an old to a speedy, graceful stuntman, and it is very noticeable and really brings you out of the movie.
Apart from that, it’s a good Indy film. A great one for an 80 year old. I do not see Harrison doing this again, no matter how much younger they make him look – his body movements are that of an 80 year old. Like I said, it was beginning to look like a comedy, like The Naked Gun. I’m glad they did this one more time – but anything after this – would just be laughable. Give Indy the send off he deserves, and let him grow old peacefully with Marianne.
