HOLOGRAM FOR A KING (2016) 1hr 38m
Dir: Tom Tykwer
Writers: Dave Eggers; Tom Tykwer
Starring: Tom Hanks; Omar Elba; Sarita Choudhury.
By Paul Bernardo paulieb2003@gmail.com
So this thing pops up on the MAX, as movies often due, and it was a huge picture of Tom Hanks. So I think to myself, you know, I like Tom Hanks, he doesn’t really do anything bad, or boring or meaningless or whatever, I’m gonna give it a try.
Now I never heard of this film, and you haven’t either. There is good reason for that. This film is not something you want to watch. Even if you love Tom Hanks.
So this bad boy clocks in at a sleek and proper 1hr 38m, as most films should. So I was happy about that – problem is, it still felt like a 3 hour movie. Slow, yes. Meaningless, yes. All the things I said Tom Hanks never did, he does here.
This movie was a book, and this Director guy, Tom Tykwer loves to adapt books into movies. Tykwer is the guy who did Cloud Atlas. You might remember it. Tom Hanks was in it – along with Halle Berry. It was a best selling book and all this hoopla was made about it. Well it tanked huge, and Tykwer is the one who did it.
So it makes sense that Tykwer called up Tom and said he’s doing another project about a book. I’m sure Tom was happy to do it.
So Tom Hanks is this IT tech sales guy, going to Saudi Arabia to pitch his technology to the King. Now, not many people care about IT guys, and fewer people care about the King of Saudi Arabia. Tom flies over with his sales force team of 3 people, and they set up their presentation in a tent and get ready for the King.
Well when is the King coming? Nobody knows, and nobody bosses around the King. So they sit and wait. Now as they sit and wait, Tom becomes friends with his driver, and he shows him around and things like that. Tom also almost gets involved with a fellow IT colleague, but he has an erection problem, so he can’t really do anything about it. Is it fun yet?
Tom finds a syst on his back and inserts a knife into it in the shower, why – we don’t know. His driver takes him to the doctor. The doctor is a female and they kind of hit it off.
So Tom and his doctor hit it off – and somehow this time Tom’s erection works and they are able to make love. They have to keep their love on the down-low, because it is Saudi Arabia after all.
So the King arrives, declines Tom’s pitch, and that’s that. Tom stays in the country to be with his Doctor friend and gets a job selling apartment units in Saudi Arabia. Wow! Fun filled film, right? Action packed. No this was horrible. If you love Tom Hanks, like I do, just skip this. Selling apartments in Saudi Arabia is not a happy ending for anybody.
See ya next week!!
