McGinn’s WWE Superstars Recap – 1/23/14

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What a week it has been Superstars Nation! Not only are we mere hours away from the Royal Rumble but enormous moves and shakes transpired here at Place to Be Nation. In addition to all the wonderful articles we treat you with each week, we also saw the launch of two fantastic new programs for your listening pleasure. Of course I speak of The Kevin Kelly Show and PTBN Main Event. If you haven’t listened to either of those premier episodes, I suggest you keep reading this recap and THEN go and download both podcasts because you will not be disappointed. I had the pleasure of having the best seat in the house for Episode 1 of the Kevin Kelly Show and even though he referred to me as “Dan McGlynn,” I can honestly tell you that Kevin is a natural and it’s going to be difficult to wait two weeks for the next broadcast. To cap off this historic week, we also have another action-packed edition of WWE Superstars and you, the reader, have the best coverage of this and every other WWE, TNA and ROH program right here! So now that my corporate shilling is out of the way, let’s head down to ringside!

Your announcers tonight are Tom Phillips and my Royal Rumble pick every year, Alex Riley.

BRIE BELLA (w/NIKKI BELLA) VS. ALICIA FOX (w/AKSANA) 

Oh dear! I’ve been so happy the last number of weeks that WWE loves the Bellas so much that they refuse to use them on secondary programs. We liked seeing Naomi’s innovative offense and when she was still in the company, we appreciated the actual wrestling ability of Kaitlyn. Heck, even Natalya would grace us with her presence showcasing her generations of grappling skills and it truly gave us all hope that buried beneath all this Total Divas nonsense beat the heart of a competitive and entertaining Divas Division. And then this happens! Yeah, I’m not a fan of the Bella Twins.

In one of my first articles, I praised Fox for being a good sport and putting on quality matches even though she was shunted down the ladies’ roster. She more than justified my comments early on. After taking a slap to the face she delivered a devastating windmill backbreaker for a 2-count. For good measure, Foxy nailed a flawless Northern Lights suplex for a near-fall and now I’m getting grouchy waiting on the inevitable Brie comeback. Another reason why I’m hating on Brie – besides the obvious – is because she picked the Patriots last week in her football pick’em. Thanks for nothing future Mrs. Daniel Bryan!

Speaking of wedding bells, it’s so great to see my imaginary girlfriend, Aksana, in the house tonight. She’s still looking for a man according to Riley so clearly my flowers and Edible Arrangements haven’t found her yet. Must be a mix-up at the post office. This match actually was given some time and the dreaded comeback commenced with a flying clothesline and a pair of dropkicks by Brie. After my girl tried to get involved, she was maliciously assaulted by Nikki on the outside and in a reprehensible miscarriage of justice, suffered an extremely dangerous torture rack backbreaker by the future Mrs. John Cena. Disgusting and uncalled for if you ask me! A knee to the face and a Bella Buster later and it’s good night nurse. WINNER: BRIE BELLA

Our first Raw highlight is the first of two returns by Batista from Monday night. In watching this again, the crowd exploded when the music hit and I really missed that pyro display after all these years. His promo was pretty brutal but I do like him going after Orton first instead of Cena. Even if it has been almost four years since his “I quit” speech and Cena was the one who put him in that wheelchair, it just feels more fresh having him chase after another one of his old buddies in RKO. A Batista/Orton feud is certainly WrestleMania worthy with or without the championship being involved so we shall see where this all goes.

While I typed all that I also downloaded the official theme of the Royal Rumble. Who said guys can’t multitask? By the way, I’m a total mark for pay-per-view wrestling themes when STP and Korn aren’t involved.

In the words of Scotty, “next up” we turn back the clock to the early 2000s when Brock Lesnar went face-to-face with The Big Show. Oh wait, we only went back to Monday night when it happened again. Not much to say here except I think Brock wins on Sunday and will either get Taker at Mania or he somehow gets shoehorned into the title picture through Elimination Chamber.

SIN CARA & LOS MATADORES (w/EL TORITO) VS. 3MB

Wow so much going on in this one. First off, Riley – who I praise every week in this space – just called 3MB the second-best faction behind the Shield in the WWE. That’s like saying the Washington Generals are the second-best exhibition basketball team behind those Globetrotter guys from Harlem. Or that Color Me Bad is the second greatest boy band behind those goofy haired Beatles characters. Seriously A-Ry?

Anyway, tons of acrobatic maneuvers in this one as our masked heroes go to work on the Three Man “Bland.” Fernando was your face-in-peril tonight as the band cut the ring in half to perfection. To get an edge, Mahal leveled Diego from the apron but Fernando was able to tag in Sin Cara. After Slater and Mahal were dumped to the outside, El Torito jumped up on the turnbuckles and flew with the greatest of ease, splashing down on the unsuspecting band mates. Sin Cara clobbered McIntyre with an enziguri followed by a beautiful senton and that’s that! WINNERS: SIN CARA & LOS MATADORES

Too quick to really get excited about any of these six guys. Sin Cara and the guy in the bull costume definitely looked the best if you are looking for superlatives.

Our show concludes with a flashback to Monday night’s main event between Kofi Kingston and the WWE World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton. It just makes me smile to see the words “main event,” “Kofi” and “champion” in the same sentence, but I digress.

After watching this again, I’ve determined that the smark fans who boo John Cena actually do have a heart, if and only if, his father gets punched in the face the week before. It wasn’t deafening or anything but at least we didn’t get a “Cena Sucks” chant while he chased Orton around the arena. I might be the only internet writer interested in this feud so I’m definitely rooting for a classic main event this Sunday. The question is, who was driving that car? Who is in cahoots with Orton? The Authority? Brad Maddox? The Chinese Consulate from 24? Rikishi? Someone has to get to the bottom of this!

Well that was fun. Cheesy plug alert! Be sure to join us at Place to Be Nation this Sunday for the Royal Rumble live blog as I join “The King of Kings,” Scott Criscuolo, to give you all all the highlights and amusing banter as it happens from Pittsburgh. Who knows who else will show up so you won’t want to miss it! And if you wish to join the conversation, please like Place to Be Nation on Facebook and you can stalk me on Twitter @DmcG4881. Good day Nation. I said good day!

Author: Dan McGinn

Dan McGinn is a former Minor League Baseball announcer, a five-star General in the #sweatervestarmy and an all around babyface who you should be happy to take home to dinner. He also happens to write about wrestling.