McGinn’s WWE Superstars Recap – 11/7/13

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“I’ll get back up, for good this time, and I ain’t coming down”

Previously recorded on Monday and posted to the web on Thursday or sometimes Friday, it is now time for WWE Superstars. The show you swore no longer existed until some nerd from Boston decided to write about it. If you are new to the program, I am said nerd and one thing you may not know is that of all the shows WWE saturates the entertainment marketplace with day in and day out, only Superstars can boast the greatest opening theme song in the history of internet exclusive programming. The song is called “New Day Coming” and every time I hear it, I want to just run through a wall or ask the prettiest girl I know out for some Pad Thai. It is way better than Raw’s theme or Smackdown’s and with all due respect to the Shinedown tune on Main Event, there really is no comparison. If I was website savvy, I would probably connect a link of this track on YouTube so you can hear what I mean, but as you can see, I’m not very talented so maybe the guys in post production can do me a solid. Okay, enough stalling. Time for a match!

Your announcers tonight are Tom Phillips and the grossly underrated Alex Riley.

NAOMI (w/ CAMERON) vs. ALICA FOX

The undisputed Queen of Superstars makes her second consecutive show opening match only this time she will not be needing the services of the Giant Ball of Cotton Candy better known as Brodus Clay. I speak of course, of Naomi who I projected last week to be receiving a possible Divas Title push down the road. Last week she made short work of Aksana and now she gets Alicia Fox whom you recall was watching at ringside seven days ago. Fox is kind of in “no woman’s land” since she is not on Total Divas which unless you are AJ, usually means you aren’t getting serious air time. She has been very good about putting ladies over like Paige on NXT and the Funkadactyls so at least the former Divas Champ is becoming a reliable hand in the division.

I’ll take a moment here to mention that Riley is rocking his Clark Kent glasses and explained that he was Ricky Vaughn for Halloween and he’s hoping to see the action better from the broadcast position. He does bring a great deal to the table and I like him in this role. He also seems to care about every competitor and never hesitates to sell the athleticism in the much-maligned Divas Division. He thinks Naomi is the Candace Parker of the WWE and countered by comparing Fox to Jackie Joyner Kersee. High praise indeed. These two have terrific move sets as evidence by the flawless northern lights maneuver executed by Fox and the acrobatic head-scissors used by Naomi but the E insists on pushing the Bella Twins down our throats for reasons far beyond my comprehension.

Anyways, Naomi eventually delivers the “Rear View” which Riley proclaimed was now called the “Booty Call” but either way, the match ended with a flying butt bump to the face and no one is going to complain about that! WINNER: NAOMI

This match was fun and a far cry from the heatless, cat fight, grunt-fests we are accustomed to seeing from the Divas on TV. I was quite impressed with the innovative offense so you can definitely give the fast-forward button a rest for this one! Just remember, when Naomi is raising the Divas Title for the first time, her climb to the top began right here on Superstars!

We next go to an abbreviated clip of that epic six-man tag from Raw featuring John Cena and the Rhodes Brothers against Damian Sandow and the Real Americans. I really enjoyed hearing Del Rio on commentary for this match and it makes for an intriguing main event scene on Smackdown. The Sandow/Cena feud is fresh at least though I still think they missed the boat having the intellectual savior lose his briefcase so easily. While I always root for more traditional team elimination matches at Survivor Series, you can bet a decision on who Cena will face for the World Heavyweight Championship is forthcoming. I’m also thrilled to see Golddust back in the ring. It seems like only yesterday, I saw young Dustin take that chair shot to the head because he wouldn’t sell his seat to Ted Dibiase back in 1990. Ahhh memories!

Sick! Flo Rida has the official theme for the Survivor Series! What, was Alice in Chains not available?

Our next segment brings us to a very long recap of Big Show’s lawsuit against The Authority that includes charges of slander, breach of contract , intimidation, extortion and exploitation of the world’s largest athlete. Then we see the in-ring settlement (on Raw of course) where HHH gives Show his job back and a WWE Title bout with Randy Orton at Survivor Series. Didn’t we see this already on PPV this year? Honestly, I’d rather see Show face HHH because I can’t get enough footage in my lifetime of Hunter getting his stupid face punched in but I digress. Whoa look at that! Another match!

ZACK RYDER vs. JINDER MAHAL (w/ 3MB)

Long Island Iced Z is on television and I’m marking out! I was as big of a Ryder guy as anyone back in 2011. The Youtube show, his crazy father, the unexpected albeit short run as the United States Champion. Watching him get murdered by a stale Kane last year followed by the repeated burials by just about everyone on the roster was a bitter pill for a fan like me to swallow. At least I now have Superstars to give me my Ryder Revolution and I’m sure he won’t complain about taking beatings while still maintaining over one million Twitter followers.

Pretty standard affair here and Ryder brought great energy early in the contest before Jinder gained momentum after the commercial break. Mahal would later connect with a devastating high-knee for two and honestly, if you held a gun to my head, I couldn’t tell you what Jinder’s finishing move was. Thankfully, I wouldn’t have to find out as Z hits his signature “Rough Ryder” jumping leg lariat for the three-count. RYDER WINS, RYDER WINS, RYDER WINS! WINNER: ZACK RYDER

I hope this is the beginning of a rather lengthy Superstars winning streak for the Ultimate Broski even if it’s only for me and the 12 other people who have Hulu Plus to see.

We close the night with – wait for it – another clip from Raw. This time it’s the public mugging of Big Show at the hands of Orton and The Shield. We also see Corporate Kane run interference for The Authority. I guess we are supposed to forget about the fact that Kane was permanently disfigured in a fire before he debuted in 1997. I’ll take it though because it’s a fresh look at a very old character. Show looks kind of stupid here since no one bothered to come to his aid but the segment serves to show how powerful they are now that Kane has joined up with Orton, Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns.

Not much in the way of action this week but we do see two rarities. A competitive Divas match and a Zack Ryder win on television. Get the Duck Boats ready!!

Author: Dan McGinn

Dan McGinn is a former Minor League Baseball announcer, a five-star General in the #sweatervestarmy and an all around babyface who you should be happy to take home to dinner. He also happens to write about wrestling.