Monday Night Raw
October 20, 2014
Kansas City, MO
It’s time! No not Vader time, but time for Raw to “go home” because it’s drunk again and I don’t want to stay out all night until the cops come. No seriously, it’s the “go home” Raw before another special event so you know if their are any stops left to be pulled out, rest assured they will happen tonight! After watching SmackDown and subscribing to the WWE text alerts all day, the card is finally starting to take shape, though like many October PPV, you probably didn’t even notice, so that’s why you’re here! And welcome by the way! These Raw Recaps can’t write themselves, though honestly, some weeks I wish they did! I kid. If the show is going to kick it up a notch, surely tonight is the night! So cue the highlight video of our main eventers and let’s get on with the show!
The massive, demonic structure we all know as Hell in a Cell begins to lower over the unsuspecting ring only to stop short as The Authority make their way onto the stage donning their Sunday best. All members are present with the exception of Stephanie, but this foursome look like they just walked off the set of a Tarantino movie as they approach the squared circle. Triple H makes his opening comments by proclaiming that tonight will be a night that the Authority will be proud of. Orton, Kane and Rollins will battle Cena and Ambrose in a 3-on-2 handicap street fight in our main event. Hunter calls Hell in a Cell the “most ominous and destructive” structure in this history of WWE. He says that Cena and Ambrose, should they survive tonight, will be going straight to hell this Sunday. The COO says that the PPV will see the death of two rivalries and predicts victories for the “face of the WWE” (Orton) and “Mr. Money in the Bank” (Rollins).
Rollins grabs the stick and immediately the “You sold out” chants begin. Man, we need a new chant for this guy no? Seth wants a new nickname, speaking of which, and calls himself the “undisputed, future of WWE.” He then goes on to call his match with Ambrose the main event. Orton is not pleased with this new moniker and tells his little buddy that the true main event of the show will involve two superstars that have been around longer than a “hot cup of coffee.” Orton claims that he will end the decade-long rivalry with John Cena once and for all! Hunter tries to play peacekeeper by saying Hell in a Cell will feature a “double main event.” He then adds a stipulation to Orton’s match proclaiming that the winner between Cena and Orton will be next in line to face WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Brock Lesnar.
Hunter says all his charges will make him proud this week including his Director of Operations, Kane, who sets the ringposts on fire to end the lengthy talking segment. Couldn’t you just see Orton winning, taking on Lesnar, beating him at the Rumble and then have Rollins cash in? Probably not, because I just said it but give me a break, I’m trying!
SHEAMUS & THE USOS VS. THE MIZ, GOLD & STARDUST (W/ DAMIEN MIZDOW)
Hell in a Cell Match Alert: Sheamus defends the U.S. Title against The Miz. Bet you didn’t see that coming!
Hell in a Cell Match Alert Part 2: Prior to tonight’s show, The Usos were granted a title match for the tag titles on Sunday against Gold & Stardust. They have to fill the card somehow. Why not load it up with title matches?
Miz forces Mizdow to stand in for him in this match so that the A-lister can join the boys on commentary. He says he wants to give back to his stunt double because he is a giver. I would have thought, he would be doing this more often and let Mizdow take the beatings. I will admit, I do tend to mark out when Mizdow mimics Miz though I still wish the movie star would add to his entourage. A heat segment gave way to the usual spot fest with Sheamus even landing a sweet brogue kick on Stardust after a failed disaster kick. The legal man, Mizdow, school boyed the U.S. Champ and with a handful of tights, secured the victory for his team. MIZDOW WINS MIZDOW WINS! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!? Miz takes the credit for the win as Sheamus continues to get owned in this feud. WINNERS: DAMIEN MIZDOW, GOLD & STARDUST
Can I marry into the Chrisley family? Those girls are easy on the eye, not going to lie! Call me! #ClassNotAss
Orton shows his appreciation to Hunter and vows to make him proud and win that gold once again for The Authority. The COO reveals that it was, in fact, Seth Rollins who suggested that Randy’s match be for a WWE Championship shot. Randy says he will find Rollins and thank him personally.
Oh boy, time for my head to spin. It’s time for some Bray Wyatt! So to recap, Harper and Rowan were “set free.” Bray used to be afraid until “she” came along and called him special. The “Spirit” is on his side to guide him on this journey and will leave behind smoke, desolation and damnation. Bray says that “it” is coming! Huh? Who’s it? What’s the spirit? Where the hell do Harper and Rowan go when not with Bray? Obviously not the showers!
AJ LEE VS. ALICIA FOX (W/ PAIGE)
Not sure I get the whole Alicia Fox thing but I guess those crazy chicks stick together. They really toned her down since she got that brief title push, coincidentally against Paige months back. The friendship doesn’t last long, or so we think, as Paige starts shoving Fox on the outside after Alicia hit the floor following a head scissors take down. Paige threw her new bff back in the ring and distracted AJ only to see Fox roll her up for the surprise pinfall. The two heels celebrated up the aisle as the joke is on all of us! WINNER: ALICIA FOX
In the back, Orton finds Rollins and thanks him and wonders why Rollins would be looking out for him. Seth calls himself a team player though Randy wants him to mind his own business. Rollins then alludes to the point I made earlier that he would cash in his briefcase at some point. I’ll say this about Mr. Money in the Bank, he knows how to add gas to the old fire. Orton is so getting hosed by The Authority this weekend isn’t he?
Something doesn’t sit well with The Viper as Orton heads to the ring, alone this time, following the commercial. He mentions that this won’t be the first time he faces Cena in Hell in a Cell. He recaps their respective careers dating all the way to 2002. Orton then calls an audible and starts hating on the Kansas City fans who are trying to drown him out with repeated “Let’s Go Royals” chants. I guess the local baseball team in that area is playing a big game this week or something to that effect. Anyway, I love how Orton keeps building up the Cena rivalry as one that comes once a generation. He puts it in the same paragraph as Hogan/Piper, Hart/Michael, Austin/Rock and now Cena/Orton. Orton admits his respect for Cena but still calls him that punk kid from Boston who doesn’t deserve to be in the same ring as him. For good measure, he tells him to stick his hustle, loyalty and respect up his ass!
Out comes John Cena… You’ve done it now Randal! Cena tells Orton to shut up and calls him the biggest dumbass alive! He makes some corny old man jokes and mocks him from bringing up the old days. Then Cena incites the crowd into more Royals chants and then says that 2002 was the last time Orton was relevant. I’m not sure that’s true but Cena is rolling here. He goes on to say that he has his sights set on Orton now because he knows that his old rival is standing in the way of yet another shot at The Beast! Cena sees Brock Lesnar when he looks into Randy’s eyes and come Sunday, he will bring hell with him! Powerful stuff, though can we cut out the obnoxious old man routine in editing? Hulu Plus, get on that will ya?
Not to be outdone, here comes Paul Heyman. He introduces himself and then gives his own history lesson of the rookie class of 2002. Need we forget, Brock Lesnar was also part of that star-studded OVW class that shaped the next generation of WWE superstars. He calls Cena and Orton equals though Lesnar has no equals. He says the winner at Hell in a Cell will ultimately be the loser.
Dan had some technical errors at this point and GOOD GAWD here’s a run-in by former RAW part-time recapper and PTBN Boss, Brad Woodling:
The camera pans to Dean Ambrose eating popcorn and watching a movie, which aptly turns out to be See No Evil 2 featuring Kane. John Cena startles him and they brainstorm what their plan will be tonight. Dean notes that he’s an expert in handicap street fights, a nice callback to the Shield’s dominance.
Ambrose heads to the ring dragging what seems like a body bag, and where I first thought maybe he had Joey Mercury in there, it turns out to be a dummy Seth Rollins doll, complete with highlighted hair and a painted on beard. Where Ambrose got a huge pop the first time he came on screen during his backstage segment, this turns out to be a bit lackluster as he belittles and destroys the doll, piece by piece, throwing in some decent comedic timing given the puns he had to work with. Lawler and JBL laughing and re-telling the jokes after him was terrible. Just let us smirk at Dean’s wit please. Eventually Seth Rollins comes out, and I will say he has improved on the mic of late. He’s got his stooges with him, which I also think is a great touch. The two go into a hard sell for their Cell match but the KC crowd is a little burnt out over these two until MICK FOLEY’S music hits. Mick, and really the surprise of his one-night return ala The Rock, gets a huge pop which diminishes anything else on RAW. Rollins rightly pokes fun at the Santa-wearing, half brain-dead Foley (w/ beard dye-job), but Mick is on fire here, putting over the dangers of the Cell as well as Ambrose’s unpredictability. This was 200% better than when Foley last returned and had to lecture CM Punk about having to beat John Cena to truly be legit (even though he had beat Cena numerous times).
Rusev is out to face Big E. Big E has had spirited matches with Rusev before and this one is no different. Rusev wins again with the camel clutch and we’re sprinting through the match recap here to get to the post-match Big Show stuff. So Rusev and Lana wait for the Russian flag to drop but nothing happens at first. Finally we get the explosion and the US Flag, complete with patriotic song, is displayed. The crowd is excited and the Big Show is gloating on the Titantron. Rusev teases ripping the flag down and starts to walk away when a local wrestler, dressed in fatigues, tries to storm the ring but security temporarily stops him. He finally gets in and starts explaining what Rusev was trying to do and Rusev super kicks him, leaving a huge mark on his face and essentially knocking him out. Rusev leaves, with an “oh shit” look on his face while they tend to the guy. They show a couple replays of the kick and the Big Show is out helping the guy to the back. Obviously if this was a real crowd run-in they’re not going to these lengths but I seriously question the decision to have someone portray the military, only to be knocked out. This was the epitome of cringe-worthy stuff you hate having to explain to a non-fan in the room watching with you.
We’re back from break and the Big Show has a mic and he is overcome by emotions and anger that he played a part in this unfortunate scripted sequence happening. Rusev has finally crossed the line and the Big Show has finally had the opportunity to dust off the acting boots he wore every week a year ago to try to get over the Authority angle and being fired. This did not make me want to see Big Show knock Rusev out any more than I previously had.
Ok, now back to Dan.
DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. CESARO
Um, shouldn’t this be a match on the PPV already? Why are they fighting here? Haven’t we seen this match at least a dozen times already this year? I wonder if they will have much left if they do square off on Sunday. Anyway, Cesaro catches the IC champ with a nasty uppercut to score the flash pin. I guess he has staked his claim on a return bout for the gold. Following the match, Cesaro drills Dolph with a neutralizer to cap off a rather convincing squash match. WINNER: CESARO
In the back, The Authority boys continue to snip at each other with Hunter, once again, playing the role of the exacerbated father. He tells Orton and Rollins that Kane will be the ring general calling out the orders during the main event and the Director of Operations establishes his authority by screaming at his fellow teammates.
Hell in a Cell Kickoff Alert: Damien Mizdow will host a very special edition of Mizdow TV and his guest will be none other than The Miz, of course! Also scheduled to appear on the Kickoff show will be the Superstar panel consisting of Booker T, Alex Riley and Paul Heyman.
We go inside the numbers of Hell in a Cell matches over the years. I love the one where they say of the 29 men who have entered the sadistic structure, 18 of which never returned. I’m not so certain I would ever enter anything called “Satan’s Playground” no matter what the payd day was!
More Bray Wyatt creepiness because I was so hoping for nightmares this evening. I hope a repackaged Great Khali isn’t what’s coming through that ominous barn door!
JOHN CENA & DEAN AMBROSE VS. RANDY ORTON, JOHN CENA & KANE (3-ON-2 HANDICAP STREET FIGHT)
Street fight rules though for whatever the reason, we still have to tag in and out legally. Ambrose and Rollins start us off. This is the match everyone is all excited about. I’m cool with it, though I’m not sure this is that match I’m rushing out to subscribe to the network for. I’m sure it’ll be a fantastic match, don’t get me wrong. It does make me wonder what this PPV would look like if Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan were healthy. Anyway, it wasn’t long before the weaponry came out including chairs and tables with Ambrose taking a stiff fall on an unfolded table prior to the ad break.
Back from a few more Chrisley commercials, The Authority still large and in charge. We observe some hesitation when Orton tried to tag in Rollins. They work over Ambrose for close to five minutes until the Lunatic Fringe booted the Apex Predator in the mush. Hot tag to Cena and he clears house with the pack of heels. They start calling Kane, “General Kane” which I hope does not catch on. Rollins avoids going through a table via an AA by Cena and then throws our hero into a steel chair in the corner. The bad guys are now in complete control as the General thumps Ambrose with the metal stairs at ringside. Cena is basically a sitting duck with no partner to tag and all the Authority guys fresh as a daisy. Cena was sent over the announce table and then whipped through a table that were perched in one of the corners. The “Triangle of Terror” continue to dominate when all of a sudden, the cell is being lowered around the ring.
Ambrose sneaks in before the steel hits the floor and gets tagged in. Dean channels his inner Mick Foley and busts out some stiff shots with a kendo stick and shoves Rollins into the steel. Off the top, he pancakes Orton with a chair and back body drops Rollins onto the Viper. This exchange leads to the censors muting Orton who had some choice words not admissible by the USA Network. Everyone starts to hit their finishers as Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds on Kane followed by Orton delivering an RKO to Ambrose. Just like that Randy scores the 3-count and this one is history. WINNERS: ORTON, ROLLINS & KANE
But wait there’s more… Just as the celebration is about to begin, Rollins delivered a shocking Curb Stomp on Randy Orton! Cole is flabbergasted! How can he do this to his Authority brother? Hello? This is the same guy who broke up the Shield! Orton was completed blindsided by the attack. To make things worse, Kane was out cold as was Cena and Ambrose. In essence, Rollins struck like a thief in the night. One man who likely saw everything, however, was COO Triple H. Rollins screamed that he calls the shots around here and then somehow found a way to the top of the cage. Star making performance by Rollins and intrigue in this Sunday has greatly increased.
So what next? Rollins becomes the new face of WWE? Does Orton turn face? Is their dissension in the ranks of The Authority? Much like I said at TLC during my old Superstars Recap days, I am hoping for a classic between Cena and Orton come Sunday and much like everyone else, I look forward to seeing what Ambrose and Rollins can do in a PPV main event. As for this show, from what I could see, the company is really putting stock into their next big event, which is more than I can say for most October pay-per-views.
Now if you’ll excuse me, these back-to-back episodes of Chrisley Knows Best won’t watch themselves!
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