October 18, 2013
Kansas City, MO
The current WWE champs are as follows:
WWE Champion: Vacant (9/16/2013)
World Heavyweight Champion: Alberto Del Rio (6/16/2013)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Curtis Axel (6/16/2013)
WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose (5/19/2013)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes & Goldust (10/14/2013)
WWE Divas Champion: AJ Lee (6/16/2013)
A video package airs highlighting Cody Rhodes and Goldust winning the tag titles from the Shield on Raw with a little help from the Big Show. For a more detailed look at this match and all the other happenings, check out Scott’s Raw Recap.
Your hosts are Michael Cole and JBL.
Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox are already in the ring. Vickie promises there will not be a repeat of what happened last week on Raw with guys who are no longer employed jumping the barricade and interfering in matches. EXCUSE ME! She demands order! She demands discipline! Apparently the writing team is getting script ideas for Vickie from the Charlie Brown Christmas special. Vickie isn’t really that different from Lucy in the Peanuts gang anyways. Maddox contributes to this segment by saying that he has put security around the perimeter of the building to keep the Big Show away from the show tonight and ensuring he does not interrupt the WWE Universe’s good time because that is what’s best for business. That brings out Daniel Bryan. After hyping his match at ‘Hell in a Cell’, he screws with both GMs saying that Big Show is in the building, but he’s actually not in the building…yet. However there are two cool dudes who are in the building right now and they are the *NEW* WWE tag team champions Cody Rhodes and Goldust. Out they come. Enough of this chaos! Vickie puts these three renegades in a match against the Shield for tonight’s main event and laughs about it. Goldust’s blank stare reaction to her laugh is priceless.
– The Wyatt Family (w/Bray Wyatt) vs. The Miz & Kofi Kingston
Kofi is *your* FIP here. Just when Rowan comes into the ring and charges Kingston to stop a tag, he takes a tumble to the floor. You think the hot tag is coming, but oh no. Rowan pulls Miz off the apron, which leaves Kofi alone with Harper. Kingston ducks the Yakuza Kick, but takes the Discus Clothesline instead for the 1-2-3. (4:00) That gets the Wyatt family’s heat back after losing last week to Rhodes family. Not like that was mentioned in commentary or anything though. Afterwards, Bray tells the Miz to enjoy his world while he can, because the Wyatt family are going to take it all away. Looks like he’s next on their list. Follow the buzzards, ya’ll. ¾*
– Non-title match: WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee (w/Tamina) vs. Brie Bella (w/Nikki Bella)
Is it too controversial to say that Susan G. Komen is one big huge scam? At the end of October, aren’t we just more aware of the Susan G. Komen foundation? And it’s 2013! Who isn’t aware of breast cancer in the first place? Why would Susan G. Komen do things like put their logo on buckets of KFC chicken loaded with the very thing that could potentially give you cancer if they weren’t laughing all the way to the bank? Do people realize that the Susan G. Komen foundation only spend 20% of the money they take in on breast cancer research? With all these questions, there’s only one thing left to say. Take it away, Mugatu…
Brie has one of her deltoids wrapped up after that nasty Black Widow she was locked in last week on Raw. That’s actually pretty cool because you don’t normally see the Divas ever nursing injuries. It gives AJ an obvious-yet-rare opportunity to employ actual ring psychology. Brie makes a comeback though, helps Nikki prevent an attack from Tamina, and catches AJ with the Bella Buster for the win. (4:00) Tamina carries AJ out like she’s a small child. *½
Hey look, it’s the Big Show! Apparently, he’s wearing his “unemployed clothes”. He comes in from the crowd, enters the ring, and borrows the mic away from Lillian Garcia. He thanks the WWE Universe for all of their support and says that the authority isn’t happy that they want the Big Show to get his job back. To explain how he got in the building, Show pulls out a ticket autographed by Daniel Bryan. That doesn’t mean you can just jump the rail and start talking on the mic, bozo. Finally, here comes Brad and Vickie. Show calls them ‘Hansel and Gretel’ for some reason. Brad is really more vocal than Vickie. He tells Show that he can’t punch the COO and waltz out onto Smackdown. He starts berating Show saying that he’s lost everything now. I believe Bob Dylan said it best, “when you got nothing, you got nothing to lose.” Show knocks out Maddox and heads back through the crowd.
– CM Punk vs. Big E Langston
Punk has to fight from underneath to deal with Big E. He gets caught trying a pescado and driven into the apron as we go to break. When we return, Big E is working the back with a half crab. Big splash hits knees though. Punk mounts a comeback with that swinging neckbreaker he does. Big E misses a corner charge and runs into the post. That takes him to the floor where Punk delivers the suicide dive. Back in, a flying bodypress gets two. Macho Elbow gets the same result. Big E avoids the Go 2 Sleep and gives Punk that splash after all for 1-2-NO! Down come the straps! Punk slips away from the Big Ending and Muay Thai kicks Langston in the head to knock him loopy enough for the Go 2 Sleep for the win. (7:36 shown) Not a bad match as they played to Big E’s strengths. Nice to see them putting him over as he hung with Punk pretty well. **¼
After the bell, out comes Paul Heyman, Ryback, and the IC champ Curtis Axel. Heyman tries to cheapen Punk’s hard fought victory by calling Big E Langston just a marginally talented NXT rookie. He continues to call Ryback a ‘professional’ and himself the ‘best in the world’ who will meet Punk in a Hell in a Cell match @ ‘Hell in a Cell’. Punk replies calling Heyman an idiot if he thinks beating him while handcuffed makes him the ‘best in the world’. Punk then explains the match saying that Heyman will have nowhere to hide and will finally get what he deserves come time for the PPV. Ryback wants to call himself a ‘caged animal’? That’s fine with Punk because like an animal, he’s going to put Ryback to sleep. Well, that’s when Heyman sicks his boys on Punk. All of a sudden, Big E Langston appears from the floor to take out Curtis Axel since Heyman is under the impression that Langston is only ‘kind of talented’ while Punk handles Ryback to send the heels running. Looks like Curtis Axel might have an opponent for ‘Hell in a Cell’ now.
When we return, Josh Mathews meets the World Champion Alberto Del Rio in the ring with an interview concerning his upcoming match with John Cena at ‘Hell in a Cell’. He says Cena has no Mexican passion and he’s a lame gringo just like the people of Kansas City. ADR wonders if Cena is going ‘loco’ coming back from an injury to face the world champ. He also thinks Cena is going soft for being out of action for two months over what he calls a ‘sprained elbow’. As for what Del Rio plans to do to Cena with his injured arm, ADR sends a message to Cena by surprising Mathews with the Cross Armbreaker. Josh Mathews is a civilian!
– The Usos vs. The Real Americans (w/Zeb Colter)
Anyone else feel super awkward when the Usos do their pre-match ritual on the stage? Colter joins Cole & JBL for commentary. Of course he discusses the legitimacy of Los Matadores being in this country. One of the Usos plays FIP here. I’m never quite sure which one is which. They are labeled as the #1 contenders for the tag titles, by the way. Cesaro does the Giant Swing. At another point, Cesaro leaps over Swagger and hits the double stomp. Why is Cesaro stuck in a tag team again? All of a sudden, Los Matadores come out. When Colter goes to confront them, he gets gored in the butt by El Torito. Yeah, that just happened. The Headshrinkers splash pins Swagger. (5:40) Afterwards, Los Matadores and El Torito deliver their trifecta finisher on Swagger, the former heavyweight champion of the world. ¾*
Let Us Take You Back to this past week on Raw: Shawn Michaels promised that as the referee for the Hell in a Cell WWE title match between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton, there will be no shenanigans happening like what we have seen at the last two PPVs. We’ll see about that.
– Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes, and Goldust vs. The Shield
After Bryan’s entrance, Randy Orton comes out and announces that even with the odds stacked so high against him at ‘Hell in a Cell’, he will be the WWE champion once again. Why not mention how you have the Hell in a Cell experience edge over Bryan? For crying out loud, will someone please put over the horror involved in this type of match between now and October 27? First the Shield gang up on Goldust, then they corner Cody and throw him into the ringpost to take us into a commercial. When we return, Cody is still in trouble. Eventually, Rhodes sidesteps a Spear from Reigns and drills him with a dropkick. Rollins tags and cuts off Cody for only a moment. Hot tag to Bryan, and it’s the same sequence that’s become just as predictable as John Cena in 2005. Moonsault floatover out of the corner, duck the clothesline, and nail Ambrose coming back around. Dropkick in the corner, super hurracanrana, but that only gets two. Match breaks down and never recovers to any kind of order. Disaster Kick to Rollins takes him out. On the floor, Reigns misses a Spear to Goldust and runs into the steps to wipe him out for the rest of the match. Meanwhile in the ring, Bryan unloads with his series of kicks. No Buzzsaw kick though. Flying Headbutt fails and Ambrose brings him down with a Butterfly Superplex. Nice! Rhodes breaks up the pin, but Rollins sunset flip powerbombs Cody off the apron into Goldust as they tumble over the announce table. YES Lock is applied to Ambrose, but he has to give that up when Rollins appears. Out goes the Shield, Bryan knocks them both over into the announce table with the suicide dive. He grabs hold of Ambrose and tosses him back inside for the Busaiku Knee Kick for the win. (10:00 shown) Tons of fun with the usual chaotic hot ending to the Shield’s matches. It’s beginning to feel a little routine though. **½
Final Thoughts: Really just a fun episode of Smackdown with a lot of babyface love here, notwithstanding Alberto Del Rio’s attack on Josh Mathews and the Wyatt Family appearances. They also seem to have got the ball rolling for some lower and mid-card match possibilities for ‘Hell in a Cell’ with Bray Wyatt facing the Miz, Axel against Langston, and the obligatory Real Americans and Los Matadores face-off. Not a must-see show, but check this one out this weekend if you’re not watching football or baseball.
Matt’s Smackdown Top Five:
1) CM Punk (Tough week to pick a ‘top five’ as I don’t think anyone stood out completely above the rest, but kudos to Punk for making Langston look good.)
2) The Shield (Largely responsible for the match of the night.)
3) Daniel Bryan (While really on auto-pilot on these shows, he was actually more personally engaging tonight than the Rhodes Bros.)
4) Alberto Del Rio (Good interview and I liked the attack on Josh.)
5) AJ Lee/Brie Bella (TIE) (Psychology in a Divas match! Finally.)