Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinoccho (2022)
Dir: Guillermo Del Toro; Mark Gustafson
Writers: Guillermo Del Toro; Patrick McHale; Carlo Collodi (book)
Starring: Ewan McGregor; David Bradley; Gregory Mann
By paulieb2003@gmail.com
So earlier I reviewed the Disney remake of Pinocchio (2022) on here by the great Zemeckis with Tom Hanks – and this is nowhere near like that version. Zemeckis version had the classic songs kids loved for generations – “If You Wish Upon A Star” and “I Got No Strings To Hold Me Down”, yea, this isn’t that. No loveable kids songs are in here, but there are songs, and there are kids – this film is just not for them.
Zemeckis’s Pinocchio deals with the original themes that parents have been showing their kids for generations. Be a good boy, don’t lie – be honest, and brave. Yea, this isn’t that.
Del Toro said he wanted to prove that animation isn’t just for kids – it is an art form. Meaning an art form can be and should be for all ages to enjoy – so he made a really dark Pinocchio movie – that really isn’t Pinocchio. My question is – if you want to do animation for adults to enjoy – why pick a character beloved by children for 82 years since 1940? Why not just choose a different movie to remake or use an original story? Pinocchio has been in children’s bedrooms for over 80 years, and now he could very well be in their nightmares this holiday season.
Del Toro’s Pinocchio is beautifully done, don’t misunderstand – but it deals with communism, war, death and slavery. Pinocchio’s friends get bombed and die. Geppetto’s real son gets bombed and dies. A church is destroyed by Italian air raids.
There is no Honest John to cutely mislead Pinocchio into doing evil – Pinocchio just does it. There are no misbehaving kids turning into donkeys – that whole part is gone. There is Monstro the sea monster, who still swallows Geppetto and Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket. Oh yes – let’s talk about that cricket.
The great Jiminy Cricket here is played by fan favorite Ewan McGregor. Now we all love the guy – even I love the guy, Moulin Rouge, Obi Wan and all that. Love the guy. Unfortunately, Jiminy Cricket here is reduced to just “Cricket” and he’s not a conscious, or anything else really. Cricket is a novelist, looking for a place to write his novel. Weird? Yewp. So Cricket is really an observer here, and not much else. Well, he narrates, even after his death – which is weird. Oh don’t worry – he dies of old age. Most characters in this version die. It’s not for kids, at all. In fact – Del Toro, actually writes Death in the movie. Yes, Death is the sister of the “Blue Fairy” now known as the Wood Sprite. Pinocchio meets Death a few times, and she is pretty scary. So, tell your kids to go grab a snack when those parts come on. Pinocchio dies a few times and gets sent to the afterlife which is a dark place occupied by black rabbits playing a card game. Yupp. Weird? Yupp. Dark? Oh yes.
So they put in a monkey as an assistant to the circus owner, formerly called Stromboli in the originals. He enslaves Pinocchio to his puppet show to become famous. This monkey, Spazzatura, plays a big part in the movie but can’t speak. Weird? Yup. Again, it’s a dark film. The monkey has one eye that is discolored, is voiced by Cate Blanchett, and is just creepy and cultish, like Del Toro’s former film, Nightmare Alley. Del Toro loves the carney atmosphere of carnivals and the occult, so this all makes sense for his style and artistic sense.
There is no Figaro, that cute cat that is always by Geppetto’s side, Cricket has no cute suit on, or cute umbrella. No, no cute here. At all. Cute has gone out the window. Del Toro prefers the carnival atmosphere, the freakish, the occult, the dark side of things. Which is great – just not for Pinocchio. Yet I suppose an adult, dark, scary version of Pinocchio is just as good as any. I mean, it’s a great film, and now after 40 years, we have two new versions of Pinocchio to show our kids. One that is light, vibrant and teaches us to be good, honest and brave. Another version to scare the crap out of us. So at least we have a choice.
Thanks for reading, and see you next week.
Black Rabbits, Mussolini, Spazzatura by Cate Blanchett, Wood Sprite / Death by Tilda Swinton / No Figaro the cat.
