Yes, it’s the end of the year and it’s time for every website ever to have their top lists of the year and if you don’t, you’re not cool enough. But, as with a lot of things, the term ‘video’ seems to be lost in individual criteria. All because the song is popular, it doesn’t mean that the video should be winning all these awards. So, there will be nothing from Psy, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, or anything else that MTV is trying to tell me that is the video of the year…as much as everyone complains about the Oscars, at least they get it right. If we use the video logic, then Iron Man 3 and Hunger Games should win for best picture. Yep, the best movie of 2013, Iron Man 3…said no one.
Also not making the list: FIDLAR’s cocaine video (it appears on a ton of lists). Look, the video is just Nick Offerman getting drunk and peeing on everything. Yes, I get it, we all love Ron Swanson, but that doesn’t mean that’s a music video of any sorts. It’s just him peeing on things, it’s not a music video. So sorry hipsters.
Anyway, this is my list of videos that I think are the top videos of the year. I’m just going to say this list is riddled with shenanigans. There’s a #1 video and there’s a grouping that aren’t #1. Again, this is my list, and as you know I have terrible taste in music, so, without delay, let’s get right into it.
Puscifer – Bohemian Rhapsody
Puscifer is yet another side project of Maynard James Keenan (Tool, A Perfect Circle). This video is in the Tim and Eric vain that we will see more of later. Instantly, you can tell it’s just slightly off…and I use the term slightly very loosely. The band members are superimposed over a 1950’s black and white movie, but it’s just their heads, and it’s not to scale. This reminds me of my old photoshop days way back when. This seems like something i would have created if given enough time and energy…Also, there’s a bitchin’ spatula solo in the middle. This is off their new EP “Donkey Punch the Night.” Look, i’m not saying this is the best video of the year, but I want you to lower your expectations, so why not reward the bizarre? Look, this whole list is a sham.
Django Django – WOR
First thing I’m going to mention about this before I get into the sham countdown is that Noisey is the music arm of Vice magazine, and most videos that they put out (Action Bronson “The Symbol,” Die Antwoord, the 2012 video of the year MIA “Bad Girls,” etc…) are of a higher standard, but there’s two things about this video, about Indian Wall of Death performers – 1. this is a news piece with a music background and B.- the Song is from 2010, so making an “official video” in 2013…shenanigans! But let me say, this song fits this video so well. It is the perfect song.
Disclosure – White Noise
This video will probably make it in everyone’s top lists of the year, but I liked it better when it was called (choose one)
A) Fatboy Slim – Weapon of Choice
B) Dirty Vegas – Days Go By
C) Fatboy Slim – Praise You
With that being said, this is an uplifting video. Here you have a security guard in Detroit whose job is to oversee the abandoned building district, and he’s making the best of his situation. He’s just doing his thing and not letting anything bring him down. So, as much as I’d like to say I’ve seen this video before, this is still a good video.
Anika – In the City
Oh, so now we have a cover song being the one best videos of 2013? I didn’t know techno/dance artists are into covers. I would think they’d be more into
stealing sampling a choice second or two for the hook. Anyway, about this video…Am I the only one that thinks this could be a Kids in the Hall sketch? I mean, down to tiniest detail – The bizarre competition, the onlookers, and a bag of goat heads? Also, if you told me this was Mark McKinney singing, I wouldn’t argue against you. It even sounds like a Kids in the Hall Song. (Scary fact: That is a woman singing).
James Blake – Retrograde
This is like the Breaking Bad of videos…You keep watching and then you keep watching, and then once you think you’ve figured it out, the credits roll. This is one of the videos where it looks like every item in the shot is there for a specific reason. The meteorite is supposed to be on that doily right at the edge, the lighting has to be that way, you have to see the fog in the inside of the biker’s visor. Everything is important. All I can say is this is a beautifully haunting video that could easily be a trailer from a movie.
MGMT – Cool Song No. 2
Did that previous video give too much away? Tell too much of the story? Want to be thrown right into the middle of a story? Well, let me show you MGMT’s video for Cool Song No. 2. This tale follows Omar, some random drug dealer, as he hunts down the manufacturer of an evil drug from a super plant to save his lover from turning…into…that super plant? Will he save his lover? Is it too late for him? Also this could be turned into a movie and I would see it.
Stone Sour – Do Me a Favor
One Part comic book, one part A Scanner Darkly. This is a well done music video. It has a good concept, good look, good execution, all in all it is just a well done music video…key term is video.
Foals – Late Night (Click on the link to view – WARNING: NSFW)
OK, I broke up the list for a second with Stone Sour, but now we’re back with right in the middle of movie videos. The mood is tense, there’s this band playing in this Russian hotel bar, there are scenes of the various hotel guests engaging in various NSFW activities. I really wanted to keep this off the list due to its NSFW-ness (Did I mention that it’s NSFW?) but it is a really good video and the song captures the atmosphere of the scene.
Beach House – Wishes
This would be my number one video of the year had it not been for our sham obvious #1 video of the year. This song, directed by Tim and Eric’s Eric Wareheim, captures a pep rally and one by one everyone starts buying into the coach’s words, from the cheerleaders, to the rhythmic gymnasts, to the crowd, and even by the end the coach gets into it. It is a fascinating video to watch.
#1 Video of the Year
Bob Dylan – Like a Rolling Stone
Shenanigans! This song is 48 years old! There’s no way this should be the video of 2013. None can compare to this interactive video, which can be found here. It’s essentially 16 videos in one and you just flip back and forth and it has 16 different shows (including Drew Carey and whatever that pawn show on the History channel is) all singing along to it, as part of their broadcasts. I’m sorry, nothing can compare to this interactive video. It’s…just…too…good…*sigh* Maybe in 2014, we can get a song from 2014 than can win, perhaps? Is that too much to ask? Happy end of 2013 everyone!